here we go --- again

[murphy667]

I do have a question (or more), but also just looking for the support this wonderful community provides.

My question is -- has anyone used Robaxin/methocarbamol for relief during WD? I have several (12-15), and from my reading, it helps with WD. and God knows I need the help!

Been taking 5-8 10mg vics/percs a day for months and months now. Some days it's 2 or 3, other days, I binge on 8 or 10. I decided a couple of days ago that that was IT, and I was done. I got half-way into day 3 and just couldn't cope, so I made a call and took 2 last nite and 1 this morning. Now I feel like crap (again....still) and am just terrified of what is coming.

I NEED TO take advantage of some time I have off -- if I can avoid taking, I hope to be at least ok by Monday. I am just not very confident that I have the willpower to get that far. I have done this a few times, where I can get to day 3 or 4 and just can't hang after that. I scramble and make ludicrous deals to get a few, and if I can't do that, I have some pretty dark thoughts. It is pretty humbling to realize that I am that weak, that I am incapable of getting through a few days of feeling bad.

Yeah, I need help.

[murphy667]

what a treat.....needed to go 2 miles to Walgreens, get some necessities. driving in the right lane, need to be in the left; a suburban in the left, needs to be in the right. we did the polite driver dance, each slowing or accelerating at the same time. comical. the driver waves me forward while she slowed down, smiling. so i accelerated to pass, got pulled over for speeding. nice man, polite man, $120 ticket and four points. sigh. at least i have not been pulled over in, like, 12 years, i am hopeful i can get it reduced or something. life goes on.

[murphy667]

struggling. watching lots of dumb tv, petting the heads of my dogs. got some bronchitis to go along -- maybe just the lungs doing their part to rid body of toxins. just really worried that come monday, i will be in the midst of hell and have to return to work. where the 9 hours will seem like, well, forever. but i have the day blocked off, to call students and stuff, so no one-on-one apptmnts. i can close the door and be miserable there instead of here. and maybe being a little productive will help.

haha, it tooks me hours the first day to realise the name was loritab loser. i thought it was something like, Loretta Bloser.

tomorrow will suck. just trying to get today done tho

[Loritabloser]

How are you today murphy??

[murphy667]

i wish you much luck, JI. I am needing it myself.

[JeremyIndiana]

Hello and thank you for responding, be it good or bad news, I've been waiting to hear from someone. I was told by an 3rd party answering service to go in this morning at 7;30am and so I am. This is a very difficult thing for me to do because I find the hassle of it daunting and my wife is not as supportive of it as I wish she was. It's not that she doesn't care I don't think. I believe she just doesn't understand enough about addiction and shes stubborn to boot. She thinks if I can CT it like I did before, it'll pass. Do you hear that? I had nothing to lose before and had no choice but to go CT. No job and she left me when we were just together and not married and I was virtually homeless. Now, I have a good paying job and she works with me and weve been married since Halloween of 2013. I have everything to lose and at the end of all that, my life one way or another and I know it. Like a lot of people, I fear my past and current experiences with depression and all that comes with my addiction. Not to mention I suffered from depression before I ever was hooked on opiates. I've had a roughly 13 year love affair with opiates and man I am just wore out in my mind and in my body. I mean really truly at the end of my endurance with this. I turned 40 on Dec. 7th and you can imagine how I was that day. Then here I am on Christmas Eve and day in bed all day. So I break down at work and fess up to everything last Monday and it's been on ever since between us. I just want to try this thing. I feel like it's my last hope. I've done so many opiates and so many kinds, I can even say that I feel I'd be okay with 20-40 mg a day. As long as I have something, I function. when I don't I'm a hot mess and ready to jump off a bridge.If I don't post anymore for a few hours, you know where I am and I'll tell you what went down. I hope I wont have to stand outside waiting to get in for too long. I've weighed 135 my whole life and I don't do well at all in the cold.Wish me luck and thank you for talking to me. I don't have to see your face to know you. I know who you are by how you talk to me. See you.

[murphy667]

jeremy -- i am not the authority, but i think you will be ok. it's part of the deal that people who check themselves into treatment are often taking several things, even if the 'problem' is w one in particular. so, no, i do not think it will be an issue AT ALL upon entry. Now, once a part of a program, do not chance it (of course). my father was a drug/alcohol counselor for 35 years, and i have some familiarity w protocol.

as for me, some setback -- major or minor, depending on perspective. i "owed" someone a few pills, and yah, got 3 for me. bc i am a *******. i am hoping it will not be TOO much of a setback and by monday, this will all be behind me. my dogs deserve better, and so do i.

jeremy, you have enough to stress about, so get the whole XNX things outta mind. you are doing the necessary things, and the Cosmos is going to recognize that, and start aligning things on your behalf. you hold up your end of the gig, and TOTS will be kind to you, i am certain. bless you (and all of you). HNE