i already know the answer to my last question

[feelinglostandalone]

This isn't my first go around, but I'm just about as terrified as I was the first time...i had almost over 2 years clean before i messed up and I'm REALLY hating myself right now! I've been taking Suboxone for the last 3 months to try and stop taking the pills
KNOWING how hard it was for me last time to come off of it. I deal with major depression on top of it and I'm terrified I'm not gonna be strong enough to get through it this time. Only a couple of people know of my relapse because I don't want my family to be disappointed in me. My boyfriend who also lives with me takes them too and not getting much support from him. Feeling so lost and alone and just want to disappear...

[TS8777]

If you did it once you can do it again!!!!! A part of recovery some times is relapse, the thing about it is not to continue. Pick yourself up dust yourself off and keep going. Yesterday was yesterday, and tomorrow is another day to make the right choice. We all know how hard it is, but if you let the guilt get the best of you, you will continue to use. YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND AT ANY TIME YOU CHOOSE TO!!!!! It's all up to you. Stay strong and forgive yourself.

[Bigdaddy1313]

Your story really struck me tonight. I am coming up on 2 years clean and your story made me stop and think that same thing could happen to me. It is such a depressing thought to think how easy it would be to step right back in that world. Please don't spend another minute beating yourself up. You know what it took to get clean. You know what it feels like to not have pills control your existence. Get back there. It doesn't matter that you stumbled. What matters is you have to get back up and get back in the fight. What made you relapse? What is it going to take to get sober again? You can do this no doubt about it.

[dominosarah]

Talk with your doctor about the depression.  They have AD meds that are non narcotic.  That will help you.  Had your bf been using while you were clean?  Did that lead up to your relapse?  We dont want you to disappear so please stay with us here, we care.

[jifmoc]

Hi, welcome to the forum. Are you trying to get off subs now? I'm a little confused. When did your relapse start? Most importantly, what were you doing for aftercare in the last 2 years?

Your boyfriend is on opiates, too? That's a problem. And that's something you will need to think about. You staying clean while the person you live w/ is taking your drug of choice is not promising, to be honest.

Please write back w/ more info:)