i need some support

[motoxman]

Hello everyone im 20 years old and am addicted to opiates. I have been addicted now for about 2 years and I am just getting so sick of it. Just so you guys get an idea of what kind of tolerance i have, i can take 60 mg of hydrocodone and be set. I tried shooting up hydromorphone a couple times a couple weeks ago, 4mg each time. dont like shooting, not my style. I used to just take pills for fun but now i have to take them to actually function, if i dont take any i will have the worst lack of motivation ever, wont feel like making food, wont want to take a shower, dont want to get out of bed etc. The worst part about it is that when I dont take any pills and I go out, ill have the worst social anxiety ever! it ***** so bad, because i have never been like this. I dont know what to do, my dad is getting fed up with me just moping around the house being a bum and bitching to me almost every day on how i need to get out, get a job, blah blah..which is all what I personally want, but he doesnt know that I am addicted to pain pills and personally I am affraid and do now want to tell him because I feel ashamed of myself. I dont want to disappoint him. I want to move on with my life and get the ball rolling, I want to join the military and do some good for not only myself but others and I cant do that with an addiction to pills and social anxiety..I just want get clean, im high right now and it *****..starting today when i wake up I think im going to quit. I also just got like 40 ativan from a friend for free, i think these can help with withdraws? sorry this is so long, this **** just ***** so bad!! Any advise is appreciated. -Neal

[Cassie415]

I feel the same way you are right now. It started out as fun...now it's a necessecity. My parents also do not know and I do NOT  want to tell them. I have started going to an addiction therapist, that they think is for anxiety, maybe you can try to go to one? It's pretty helpful and a nice place to just get everything out. Do you really want to get sober? I think that is the number one most important thing. I don't think I REALLY WANT IT and that has been getting in my way everytime. THe ativan will really help for the detox...it will help with the anxiety, sleep, and a little with the depression. However, you have to make sure you aren't getting addicted to those as well lol. For me, I have used them to get sober in the past and was fine, I had no desire to continue using them after, but others get hooked to them. SO be careful. Message me if you'd ever like to talk.

[BeBe84]

I am exactly were you are, i live with my mom she doesnt know about my addiction and i feel the same way with the whole anxiety and evrything i too dont ever wanna do anything if im not high, but now i cant even get high anymore and after i take a vicodin i have w/d 2 hours later, i cut down tremendously the amount i take, i used to take up tp 15 a day now im at 1 maybe 2 a day since i started coming to this site almost a month a go, its hard im not gonna lie cuz myself i didnt want to tell my mom about my addiction that is whats making it so much harder, but if u think u can tell your family it would help you out sooo much...Goodluck

[scaredmom330]

I have to agree, tell your parents, they love you and will do anything to help. There are good outpatient detox programs, go to a na meeting. you have made the first step, just keep going, baby steps but you can do it. pm me anytime you need to talk.

[Radial50]

The first thing to do, is tell Your parents about Your addiction, and ask them for Help.
The help they can offer, may be a Detox, and Rehab program. The longer You use, the
harder it will be to stop using. This is a good first step for You.

[jackie727]

i started the sma way my doc gave me anything i wanted went frm 2 to 4 to6 750 perks a day then to 100 in methadone i quit wrk turned my self into treatment i cut my self down to 20 mg tried t take my self with colotopin not a good idea you should go to out patient treatment i do and my first taper went ok alot less pain then i thought