i'm an addict

[sleeplessinwva]

i have been an addict off and on (mainly on) since 2000. i have wd many times. i want this time to be the last.
i take all the vitamins, cymbalta for depression which does help with the anxiety of wds. i would like help seeking better ways to stay clean this time. i am weak. a higher power? join a gym? any suggestions? i am alone in this, no home support, can not go to NA due to who i am in the community. i wd from tramadol after years of addiction, the wds were horrid. hydro is my doc now (75mg. per day). today is day one. i want to quit for good this time but i have a difficult time staying clean. i get nothing done on the hydros, proably get more done without. i don't know if i'm bored, tired, or depressed all the time. i spend my days doing whatever it takes to get by and nothing more. i want to do better. any thoughts? suggestions?

[Addict63]

Hey Sleepless, I know what you mean, wanting to do something different this time. Nothing changes if nothing changes. There is a way to make this your last WD session but you can't do it alone. Coming here is a great start.

You seem to know what you'll go thru with the WDs. I stayed on this site, kept posting, and went to NA meetings when I could, and told them what I was up to. I just dragged my body to meetings and my mind slowly followed. Now I look forward to the meetings, and getting with addicts just like me.

I also went to my Doctor and got his help. I didn't keep it a secret. Getting into various aftercare meant I was making a commitment to actually surrender my drugging lifestyle. It became the ticket for me to stay clean. I don't want to do the WD dance again. I want my life back.

Hope to see you posting on here, letting us know how it's going. Wish you the best brother.

[sleeplessinwva]

any help is appreciated. i need to do something differntly this time so it will be the last.