I need help

[carla1982]

I have been posting on here for a few months now and I have gotten some good advice. If I need help it is now....my spouse stopped using herion for a month or so he claims, but he was still using. I know he was. He went to court the other day and was taking a long time in the bathroom and the cop went in there to look for him and he dropped a bag of meth. He went to jail for that. While he was in jail people of course decided to tell me that he was also using that. I did not go get him out his mother did, she told him that he would go into rehab monday or back to jail. I have not allowed him back home and I wont. He has taken money from me, ruined my car, also pawned stuff that he bought for me. He now gets out yesterday and takes off with another addict and is staying with him. What can I do. He admits to the heroin use but not to the meth use. He also is calm with me one minute and then flips out on me the next. Please help me. I am scared he is going to die.

[carla1982]

I have told him that I can't sit back and watch him die. I don't want to be the one to wake up and find him dead with something hanging out of his arm. That would make me want to lay down and die with him.  His cousin just died a couple of months ago from morphine and he still hase't learned. Also a guy we know died a couple of weeks ago from od and it was from the same stuff he has used. I just don't know. He said that if I leave him he will leave his life. I have to make him see the light and I guess that would be from me walking out of his life. I cannot keep trying when he has to want to do this on his own.

[Eebb26]

I'm so sorry u r going thru this. I hate to say it but maybe if he looses u it will make him realize how drive are screwing up his life. Maybe he will get clean and u both can find peace later but for now, you really should be apart. Explain you love him too much to watch him kill himself.

[carla1982]

I have talked to some people and also went to a few meetings. And yes that is true a drug is a drug. It just hurts. I haven't talked to him to ask if he was going to reahb. He wants to come home and I will not let him and he is very upset with me. I don't feel as though he deserves to be home or around me. He was in jail thur thru sat and his mom ran and bailed him out. I feel that he should have stayed in there. I am trying to talk her into going off of his bond if he doesn't get help b/c that rehab agreement was made between him his mom and the bondslady so hopefully they will get him help.I am just at the point to where he is killing me and he is my drug and I need rehab

[IBKleen]

Hi,

I am sorry you are still going through this. But it will not end until you end it. I remember you posting about your husband and I also remember us telling you that you cannot help him get clean. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself.

He is not ready to get clean yet and unless he is arrested and locked up then you cannot force him. I assume now he won't be going to rehab? If it was a condition of his release they will put a warrant out for him when he doesn't show up. As sad as it is it may be best for him to be locked up right now.

Carla, you seem concerned that he won't admit what type of drug he is using and in the long run it really doesn't matter. A drug is a drug and the fact that he is self-medicating with any drug says that he is in trouble.

I don't remember exactly but I thought I remember talking with you (I think someone did) about joining a support group such as Al-Anon. Have you thought anymore about that?