I will xplain more later why I cannot do some of that. No more time right niw, but thank u all again so much. Ill post more in a few hours
You say you cannot afford to go through withdrawal right now. You can't afford not to go through withdrawal now.
One thing you have consistently done is to keep doing this on your own. Your way doesn't work hun and that's how you got here. It is time to ask for help and not from your sister. You are putting a lot on her as it is.
I am very concerned for you and will keep you in my prayers.
Relase is part of recovery,But not if it ongoing...Please reread the last 5 posts over and over again,anyone can do anything ay any giving time,you just have to want to(im not saying you dont)try,try and try a litle harder.You are in the rght place for help,d your bet and ill be praying for you....Danny :)
I agree re-read your posts and think about the about waht you said. You use the verb "cannot" quite frequently this is your addicted brain telling you won't be able to do this. You "CAN" do this so please try. You will be suprised what you "CAN" do when you put your sober brain to it.
I am at the beginnings of a most likely divorce. As of right now only a handful of people know that I take more than my script. My AWESOME sister being one of them. Also my main suplier is a very good friend, snd he has given me his word that he will help me get to Thursday, snd then he will never again.......
As of now my wife has nothing to use against me. If I admit to everyone everything that ive done, I could very well lose my son. He is MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!!
I cannot stress that enuf. I love life and want so badly a sober life, but if I lose him then I really honestly don't care either way. I'm not saying I'm gonna do nything stupid. But without him I have no life.
So I have to and will succeed on my own. I have beaten alcoholism, addictions to cocain, xanax, 24/7 weed smokin for 10 years. And I WILL beat this. I will.
I have been knocked down and had to start over in life before, and I can do it again. I have been seekin NA meetings where no one wud know me, and possibly an addictionologist.
I cannot believe the level of supporr I receive here though. You are all absolutley amazing.
And for those that don't know, I am cyrrently at 25 mcg fentanyl patch and 4 of the 30mg oxy ir per day as my script. I add to that nywhere from 50-200 mg oxy per day.
But no more. Again thank you all
Im just thinking of the position you are putting your sister in. She sounds like a wonderful person, but being an addict your likelihood of hurting your sister seems abnormally high. There is never a great time to withdraw. I know for a fact I can not have another oxy or any opiate, i would slide downhill really fast and back spending money and lying to my loved ones. Just think about the pattern that you are going to create. All my prayers..