IN HELL AGAIN

[natalile]

Hi i'm here again but no better than i was last time, If enything i'm worse, I'm totaly in the grips of addiction & cannot 7 to be honest dont seem to have the fight in me eny more to beat this, I get so far & bam bk 2 square 1, I'm bk to usin every day sometimes 2 - 3 times aday
That i feel bad for as at the mo money is real tight & my kids should be coming first, I just carnt seem to get the will to get of it this time  need someone to talk to i'm at work all day today so that might help but then i have 4 days of & thats when i use the most. I'm so depressed & feeeling sorry for myself. I think my kids have picked up on how i feel as they are making life hard at the mo but what can i expect ???
Thabks for listening it helps to get it out there sometimes
peace nat xxxx

[CBS426]

Hey it's Carlie... I know what you're going thru. You helped me when I was struggling. Just know I'm here for you. That **** has a way with coming back. You've stopped before, and you can stop again. Message me in private chat when you get a chance. I'm praying for you girl!

[rue10]

I don't know you, but I know your pain.  Please, Please, don't give up the fight.  I looked at the pictures of your beautiful boys......I know sometimes not even that is enough but in the long run when your clean and looking at their older faces and helping them through their young adult situations, you'll be so happy you made the choice to get clean so you could be there for them.  

Don't beat yourself up.  It's not the falling down, it's the staying down that will get you.  Get up and keep posting.  I'm praying for you and yours.

Blessings.

[bandnmom]

Addiction is a fight. If it was ment to be easy they wouldn't call it a fight! You need to pick yourself up and brush off!! You can do this and you want this! It doesnt happen over night but you have to keep fighting.
Stay strong and keep posting. It really does make a huge difference and we are all here to help you!!

[Clamity2]

You know how to get clean now.  You are the only one that can make the decision. I'm so glad my son and the kids in my life have a better me. I took my family to see my brother in Alaska with the money I saved from buying pills and paying Dr.s  Maybe you will have to be one of the people that gets set up by someone trying to save thier own skin. "friends" Don't know.

We all want to help you.  Why dont you spend your 4 days on the forum if you can't now pick up on your own. The first 4 days is the worst physically so this is the perfect time to get clean. Hey this is Gods perfect timing for you to get clean. Grab on hang on and go for it girl !!!   You know you can.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Good to see your handle on the screen again! Are you still doing the pole thing for exercise? You have my sympathy if you are - doesnt look very easy to me .........I have followed your story for quite awhile. I have just over a year of clean time myself .... never thought that I would be able to print that !!  I know that you can do it also. Stay with the forum and post questions or concerns ...... just use it for support.... it works ...............

[ochooked]

Gizzy said it all ----  Please get some help -- and don't try it on just will power alone.  I managed to do it and one of the best things I did when I decided I was serious about quitting was to cut off my supplier (my doctor) -- got her involved so it was like I burned my bridges behind me ----  I knew I was weak and would return for more so I told some close friends, my spouse, and most importantly became accountable to another person.  Don't quit trying - you will make it ---  and you are right about your children coming first --- you can do this for them --- and for yourself.  Everyone here is rooting for you and wishes you all the best.

[gizzy32]

Good morning nat, although we haven't spoke before, i remember you from before and how hard you tried to stay clean. you said you no longer have the fight in you to stay clean, ive been there, ive given up and had no hope. That's when it's time you get some help. There is no shame is seeking some help not only to help you, but getting clean for you children nat. i told myself for years i could do it on my own, but coke was too powerful for me and once i accepted that, i  got major support,  found some N/A  meetings and a few lifestlye changes. You can end this viscious cycle nat, but nothing changes if nothing changes. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, but it's not enough, i knew i had a problem for years. My point is, i have no doubt you will beat this, but doing it alone and without help is next to impossible. Please stay around here now, make a plan and do what you have to do. You can be happy clean nat. YOU CAN DO THIS, but it's going to take some work. We are here for you. Keep fighting nat, there is a life waiting for ya girl:)

[flmagi]

Hey, Nat ! Long time no see. Whats going on? What happened, you were doing so good?  You need to stay on the forum and keep getting support. Make it a point to get on here and talk everyday, not just when you're doing bad. Get addicted to the forum. lol  Keep talking to us girl.
Love ya,
Magi

[macksabratt]

What are you using and how much?Give yourself credit at least you have admitted it,that is the first step.I am back to square 1 too.It is a sick cycle I am stuck in at the moment.You are not alone.