Does it get worse before it gets better?

[Jebs317]

I am on day 25 and I am at a loss.  I have completely lost all motivation and any energy that I had.  I feel worse today that I did on day 1,2.... I took a day off today and the weekend just ended....?  Is this the mental part of addiction/recovery?  I am glad that I am going to see an addiction therapist tomorrow.  
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.  

[Calamity2]

So many great post! Had to bring it forward.

[Jebs317]

Thank you Rusty,
I know what you mean............I have learned so much by reading other people's posts too.  57 is awesome!!!  Good for you!
Kristen

[rusty2112]

I just read your post. I feel the same as you and want you to know that you have helped me to not feel so alone. Sometimes you help someone else without even trying. I am only on day 57 after a five year opiate relapse but my impatience to get better fast gets me down. I like what someone else said about basing progress by the week instead of every day. I do see more progress in myself if I look at it that way. Thank you for posting. I hope your addiction specialist offers you some help. I have been going to NA nearly every day and getting more help from that than I ever imagined, and I don't have to pay them money. What a deal!! Take care,

Rusty

[Jebs317]

Thank you for the help......I feel a lot better today.   It helps so much to hear someone say "I felt the exact same way...."  It makes me feel like I'm not going crazy and that this is all a part of it.  
I emailed myself the PAWS page and will read that today.  I definitely am looking forward to my appointment tonight.

Once again..........I am crying at work!  BUT.....good tears because you all are so special to me....couldn't do a day of this without you!
Kristen

[stilltrying1965]

Hey Jebs
Everyone has bad days even non addicts. I felt the exact same i was 56 days clean but felt i was back on 1 week. I think this is normal for addictsI think Gizzy asked you to look up on PAWS you may have already done that.But like iv said everyone has bad days you be proud of what you have already done 25 days is awesome and things will only get better. Talkto your adiction specialist and see what he thinks. Rember you are still early in your recovery and those bad days will become less and less. Good luck to ya Jebs ,,,,James PS I also agree with what the above have told you keep on fighting god bless you

[Leah1964]

I know part of healing and recovery is dealing with bad days, emotions, stress and emotional life issues without using.  We need to learn again how to do that, remember how we did that before using and finding new ways of coping and overcoming.  Life for me overall has been on a pretty even plain since quitting, but I know 'life' happens, will happen and I will be challenged.  Praying for you!  I am sure what you are dealing with is hard.  Look forward to hearing from you about your meeting with the addiction specialist.  : - }

[Calamity2]

Congrats on 25 days   Do you go to N.A meetings ?  Time to get new people that support you in your recovery.  Not just us. In person people.  Do you take any other medication that could be affecting your energy?

We give 30 day coins because anyone making it that far needs to be noticed and supported.

[Jebs317]

Thanks you guys......it definitely was a bad day.  Nothing that I could really say happened that was bad, but just the feeling I had.  I am going to go to work tomorrow even if I don't feel good......I do SO much better when I am busy.  Tomorrow night I have class and then at 7:30, I am going to see the therapist.  
Long story short, my son is searching for his birth mom, we found her....I am supportive of this and I am secure with his love for me.....BUT, things like this were much more easily dealt with when I had a "couple" in me.  
The other thing weighing on me is that on a day like this, I would either get support from my boyfriend....or best friend......and they are no longer in my life.  
It's been tough, but I am coming out on the other end of this a better mom.  My goal.
Thanks for letting me complain.....I looked forward to getting home tonight and reading your responses because I knew that they would lift me right back up....and they did!

Kristen

[dominosarah]

You will have some bad days here and there.  That will get better with time.  When we have these days we learn to appreciate the good days even more!!  You are doing great so hang in there.  Congrats on 25 days!!!!!     sara

[Rich99]

Thats how I was for me,  I could barely do anything physical on some days....but as time goes by,  the good days will begin to outnumber the bad days,  hang in there!

[LeaAnn807]

It's going to be ok!  You will have days that will feel like the life is being suck3d right out of you!  I have.  I'm sure everyone here has!  Thing is, tomorrow you may feel much better.  It's one of those things where we want to REALLY feel better everyday so we start trying to notice progress everyday.  Start trying to note your progress by the week instead!  You won't get so down that way!!!

You are doing really good!!!!

TH

[gizzy32]

Congrats on those 25 days. It is possible that you could be starting to experience PAWS also, so if you haven't read about it yet I suggest doing so, it is very real and I think it has caused many a relapse including myself. I am also glad your going to see an addiction therapist tomorrow, let us know how it goes and stay strong. Are you craving too?

I know not everyone is the same and we all recover at different speeds, but I felt like hell my first month clean and from there I saw huge improvements. Hang in there, you have come so far.

[vicki595]

Kristen~ Sometimes there are bad days...don't expect so much from yourself. One day at a time...your body and brain are still adjusting.  Being addicted is exhausting!! It takes time to get better.  Do you like going to the gym?  I know,I don't !!!  LOL   But,getting any type of exercise works for our brains.  I walk a lot...

Thinking of you~
Vicki  xo