***need your advice to avoid trigger*****

[joann1975]

I am about 9ish days off lortabs. I tapered. I am not good at counting the days. I just know this weekend is really going to be the test for me. We are going to a sporting event for my niece and it is about an hour and a half drive from here...that I can handle....my Mom called and wants to ride w/us. Now I am freaking. Of all the things in this whole world she is probably my biggest trigger and probably the deep down reason I use. Without going into a lot of details she just puts me over the edge NO MATTER WHAT and always has. I am kind of starting to get freaked about it...but the other part of me is just trying to pretend like it isn't happening. I do take on a regular basis (but have NEVER abused it b/c I don't like the downers) clonazepam...I considered taking them with me to break in 1/2 but that is just trading one addiction for another....but this early in my recovery don't I need to do everything I can to stay off the lortabs?

I am trying to not get too freaked b/c there is a big chance she will flake out and not go with us and I will have gotten worked up for nothing but I need to be prepared if she does. Also, to add to it she can't sit in the back seat of our truck b/c we have the suicide doors and she can't handle not having control of being able to open her door whenever she wants.....well after so long w/my back I get uncomfortable in the backseat. I am fine taking turns but she won't even do that. So I know my back will flare up with that and the sitting either on the ground at the game or in lawn chairs. The pain I will get over but throw her in with it and ..... man I don't know. Also, I get b!tchy and take it out on my poor hubby and then you know where it goes from there.

Sorry for rambling I am just getting nervous about this and any advice would be appreciated greatly!! Thank you in advance!

[confused456]

Joann.....PLEASE do not let a couple "bad" responses stop you from posting!! There are SOOOOO many good ppl here and they do outweigh the negative!! You are a very kind person who always gives support to others and I see you respond to so many!! You are right, you CAN and WILL get through this!! Wishing you all the best and you enjoy that Mickey Mouse DVD!!!! TAKE A PILLOW!!!! Hugs to you!!

[kimmieb]

yep, in order to avoid certain triggers, there ARE certain things we have to learn how to do....like standing up for ourselves....not in a mean or in a b----- way, but just in a "i'm in control" kinda way....  i had a long TALK with my mom....she understands now....it took a lot of talking and a lot of crying, but it's better than taking benzos every time you feel the trigger!  ( and believe me, you do NOT want to start down that road at all....not that taking ONE benzo and only one benzo your entire life will start you down that path, but girlfriend, 5 years ago, i thought taking just ONE benzo every once in a blue moon couldn't hurt me....and look where i ended up....having to do a taper under a doctor's supervision to get me off that stuff...and believe me, it's MUCH worse than getting off lortabs....so please don't go there!  keep perspective, realize you're a grown woman now, and try not to get too worked up....as you said, it may all be for nothing anyway....just relax, take a deep breath, and you'll be fine....back pain?  i'm sure you've dealt with it before and will obviously have to deal with it in the future if you're gonna stay off the lortabs....so maybe you can just grin and bear an hour and half or so....if you can't sit at the game, get up and walk around like i do.....my son's and daughter's b-ball and softball games are over 2 hours long....i walk around alot....sitting is worse....just a suggestion!   hope all works out ok :-)  let us know!
k.

[joann1975]

Well, unfortunately I can't let my niece down this is a big deal as it's the state championships. In the depths of my addiction I have made like 1 game in the last year so I am not letting her down anymore. I also am not telling my Mom no she can't ride with us. There is no legit reason for it and if she doesn't ride with us she won't be there and again that will be letting my niece down. I screwed up by getting addicted to the pills and I screwed up with my family plenty of times and let them down and I will not continue to do it anymore. It's not like there will be a bottle of 100 lortabs next to me in the truck. What I was really hoping for when I posted this was a few confidence boosters like you can do it... you have done good so far etc. I will make it through this as I have made it through everything else.
Thank you again to those of you with positive encourage words I really appreciate it! Have a great weekend.

[road2recovery]

That is really a tough one...And this early might even be to soon to put yourself , where you know the stress has caused u to use.....If you have back pain, and they know this, i would honestly say i could not go because of your pain....If u really have to go, take the benzo, put on a ipod....I could never tell my mom no, but i have just taken myself out of the situation completly....
And now i am doing that a little less, but at the beginning I did this often, and some might have gotten upset, but i just could not go to this certain place, or be around certain people...  So tell me " WTH am i going to do with my kids'?? LOL  I can't tell them no, and summer is here, WEW!!!  What a test.......
Good luck
r2r

[confused456]

and just for the record....my Mom gave me away when I was 1 and didn't come back until I was 15 and I still couldn't tell her no. I am not attacking you Mike, you are a great guy and you know I feel that way. I am making a point that we all have triggers and each of us have different family values, lives, jobs, stress levels, etc.........

[confused456]

I was not referring to CJ's comment Mike. BUT, everyone's relation with their fa,ily is different and I for one, could NOT tell my Mom NO!!