my wife is smoking pain pills. help

[txm85]

my wife has been smoking pain pills for about a month.  she says it was not everyday.  she says she will stop right away but i don't know how i can trust her anymore.  lost of lieing, sneeking around, and did not even admit it when i confronted her with the tin foil she used to smoke them in the trash.  a day later she admitted to me what she was doing.  she does everything she can to blam me for anything to direct the attention off of her.  i want to help her get clean and stay clean but i don't even know were to start.  can anyone give me some good advice?  what to look for?  how to really help her get better?

[believe0509]

She has to be ready to quit and willing to quite and then you would feel like supporting her. Not sure about smoking pain pills. I've had several pain pill addictions over an eight year period and have never! Heard of that. Sounds like she is not ready unless you threaten to leave then maybe she will clean up her act. I'm just afraid it's a lot worse than you think, just saying.   Lisa

[Teetime4u]

Hello and welcome. Does your wife admit that she is addicted? What is she smoking? My daughter is an opiate addict and using needles. One thing I have learned is that unless they want help there isn't much you can do. I didn't even know pain pills could be smoked??!! As far as blaming you for things they will do anything they can to redirect away from theirselves. I feel for you cause I am where you are right now. You may want to check into alanon it will help you to understand the addiction and give you ways to cope. This site is amazing with help and advice. Good luck and God Bless.

[throwindatowl]

Ive heard of smoking pain pills but its rare. You sure shes not smoking something else?
Would she tell you?. Shes not being honest now. If I got caught like she did I may come up with the same story if I knew someone would buy it. If your smoking anything out of aluminum foil,  good chance your an addict. Addicts have to have the want to quit. You cant do anything without her wanting to do something. Shell have to at least be open to help. Sorry man. The people here wont sugar coat anything. We all know it does no good too.

[txm85]

thank you for your comments Teetime4u and believe0509,.  i think she is just telling me what i want to hear.  i didn't know you could smoke pills either and sounded weired to me too.  but i looked it up on a couple different web sites and it is possible.  i found the tin foil with the residue on it.  i thought it was much worse.  she told me it was pills and i believe her. i'm not sure what she is smoking for sure.  she still isn't opening up very much.  she doesn't admit she is an addict.  she says she did it for fun and it's not a big deal and she doesn't need help.  i have a hard time believing that.  but i have never been in a situation like this before and am totaly lost.  i'm looking for any advise i can get.  she has had a drinking problem in the past.  it always came about when with her friend. i know she is a bad influance and she started smoking with the same friend.  i think if she could get away from her she would be much better.  i know if she doesn't cut ties with this friend then there is no hope.

[al0885]

people smoke pills. Suboxine is commonly smoked as thats the only way most catch there buzz from it, I hope this works out for you both

[txm85]

i don't want anyone to sugar coat anything for me.  i want to know what to expect.  i have never had an addictiion or been around anyone with a addiction before.  that is why i'm hear seeking advise.  no i'm not sure if it's something else.  i wouldn't know how to tell.  the residue on the foil is brown in color and completely odorless.  it is most of the time in two lines and sometimes one line.  i went through 3 weeks worth of trash and found 14 different foils like this.  i looked into everything.  found most of them in cigarrette packs.  is there something i can watch for to tip me off that she is still using?  i don't want to just give up on her.  i want to give her the chance.  but will leave if the problem continues with no hope.  but that is my worst nightmare.

[Lucky2bAlive]

I have never heard of anyone smoking suboxone so Im not sure about that. But I used to smoke oxycontin off tin foil everyday. Its called chasing the dragon is a very popular method of using oxys. Does the tin foil have long black lines down it. These are trails of oxy residue as she tilts the tin foil and the oxy chunk falls hench the name chasing the dragon. It is 10x more addicting then eating or snorting them. It is also much worse for your health as the oxy combusts into numerous dangerous chemicals when lit. It is terrible for your lungs and people do not last long with this method. She needs to get help and fast. Do you know what type of pills she is smoking? 99% of the time its oxy. Unless its heroin but that could easily be determained by looking at the tin foil and if theres long black lines. Good luck

[Teetime4u]

I feel for you. The fact that she is smoking the pills is a warning sign in itself. Usually people eat them, then snort them, and so on. She is way up the ladder very quickly. Soi more than likely she has been at it for awhile. My daughter has advanced to needles in the past 6 months. The bad thing about all this is that unless she wants help there isn't much that you can do and her addiction will continue to worsen. I don't have much advice about her friend cause the more you say the worse it can get, if you know what I mean. My daughters bf is an idiot and an addict and I know if she wasn't with him she might clean up but there isn't much I can do. Try to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your wife. Hopefully you can get through.  Do you have children?

[Lucky2bAlive]

Just notice your other post describing the lines. This is def. oxycontin. The black lines will appear to be dark brown and black. It is not heroin if there is there lines. Smoking oxy is a very dangerous method of use. It all filters through the lungs and can lead to a serious mental addiciton worse then a user who just snorts them. Like IV users they become addicted to the procedure of preparing there needle and the process of shooting up. Well its the same for oxy smokers. They love the process of breaking the pill down and getting the foil ready to chase the dragon. Like I said I did this for a few years and I am here to help so please let me know if you need anything. I hope you are able to turn her life around before its too late. I take that back its never TOO late. But it would only be easier to start now. Please speak with her about your concerns and tell her your there for her and love her. It will help

[believe0509]

Ok I do see online where people DO smoke them. Wow. I put my husband through pure he'll with my addictions and I will spend the rest of my life living with that. He is still here trying to help me hopefully for the last time. We beat ourselves up more than u can imagine but that's not helping you. How long have u been with her??  If you have a lot of time and love invested then you really need to get help for yourself first and get strong. You will need emotional strength to get through whatever you decide to do. This forum is an amazing people. I love coming here. Keep posting for strength and lots of hugs and prayers to you both.  Lisa

[txm85]

thank you so much.  that is exactly the kind of stuff i need to hear.  i have tried to have a hart to hart with her.  i have been telling her how much i love her and need her.  she hasn't smoked at all today.  and i don't know if there will be any symptoms of withdraw or what they would be.  can you help me with this?  i don't know how bad it is yet but if i know the symptoms maybe i can get an idea.  She has been sleepping alot today.  but last night was the worst by far i have ever seen her.  she drank alot last night and also smoked.  that is how i was sure she was doing something.  i will be with her all day tommorrow  too.  thanks alot lucky2balive

[al0885]

black tar leaves brownish lines when smoked and thats herion, ive seen sub s smoked first hand I dont think the substance is our worries you with our help need to get a plan or get her some professional help, I wish it were easy youve got a fight ahead of you one that most lose I pray you dont, people dont realize that the ones on these boards are lucky theres millions out there using that arnt

[txm85]

we have one four year old.  this is what i'm having the hardest time understanding.  how can she choose her friend and this over us?  i can not even amagine doing anything like this.  i know she loves us and she is a good person.  it is only when this friend is around that she gets like this.

[txm85]

can you suggest a plan or how i can put one together?

[throwindatowl]

Hey bro. Please dont give up on her. Press her big time man. Im an addict and Ill admit I didnt go get help without my loved ones pressing me to do it. I was  open to it. I wouldnt have done it myself. She sounds like me. She thinks  she can quit without help. Pride can get in the way. For me hearing my loved ones, not get mad but get sad is what made me really listen. When people got mad I got mad cause I didnt think they understood and they didnt. Thats ok. When they got sad man I just had to listen to them. I didnt want to hurt anybody including myself. I was done breaking hearts. No drug is worth that. Im sorry your in the position your in. I dont understand your position Im on the otherside, the addict side. Tell her you love her. What shes doing is hurting you and is NOT acceptable and you are there to do anything to help her. She may get mad. Trust me,she will hear what you said. The words I love you be in her mind the most. Good luck man. Oh her so called friend. Have a private talk with her. Be nice. Tell her your worried about her to even if your not. Its cool if your not. I wouldnt be. This way they wont get together against you when all you want to do is help your wife out.

[Lucky2bAlive]

Well since you started your post with saying she is smoking pain killers I am going to assume its oxycontin. Black tar is a possibility but I highly doubt it. The w/d from this is going to depend on how long she has been using and how much. I was smoking around 3-4 80mg oxys per day and my withdrawals were absolute hell. She will be very sick for about a week and still not feel right for a few weeks after. You need to determain what it is shes smoking and how much of it shes using per day. We need a deeper background of her drug abuse. Does she have a prescription for pain killers? There are many directions that you can take this but I do not want to offer those until I can get more info on her condition. The fact that you have a child also gives you the power to take the child away and go somewhere else. This would really be a wake up call for her to see her child be taken from her. Maybe there is a grandmas or friends the child can stay with for the next few days? Withdrawal is a very nasty thing and it would not be fair for the child to see her mother that sick. If you google "thomas recipe" there is a list of many good OTC drugs that will help her a great deal in detox. Smoking painkillers is the shortest high you can get from them. Unless if you ate them and they last 12 hours smoking only lasts 1-2 peak and 1-5 total. This is why smoking is so dangerous and the fastest way to become addicted. Many may argue that it is faster then IVing. There are numerous arguments out there that smoking oxy doesnt even get you high. From personal experience and an addict of 6 years now clean I can tell you it does. It is all a matter of doing it correctly and sounds like she has had a bad friend to teach her. She needs to stay AWAY from this person. They are no good for her now or ever. It might hurt at first but later in life she will laugh about it. You will get your wife back I promise you if you work hard enough and are by her side. And it will all be worth it. I just wish I had someone to help me when I hit rock bottom. I was alone surrounded by addicts that were just concerned with there own fix. Its a nasty world. Full of lies, fake relationships, hurting loved ones, and letting go of your health. You will notice huge differences in ones health from smoking oxycontin. Get her to join this website and we can tell her what she needs to know. She is not alone. Remember that

[Teetime4u]

My daughter is a good person too, and she has a 2 year old who thank God is living with me. Its hard to figure out how someeone can choose drugs over their family but it happens everyday. With what you have written about her sleeping a lot today I figure she is in withdrawl. It is different for everyone. She could get achey, vomit, the runs, chills basicly flu like symptoms for acouple days. But hopefully what she said is true and she hasn't been using too long. But don't believe much. They will lie and tell you what you want to hear to back you off them. Just don't let your guard down.I recommend you read posts on her about geting off opiates it will give you some idea what to expect. That is what I have done cause just like you I had no idea about this stuff, I don't even drink, and I have never delt with pill addiction till my daughter. Its a world that is hard to understand. Prayers for you and your family.

[txm85]

thank you so much, this is realy helping.  i will keep you posted on what i see from her and continue to ask you questions.  i like hearing it from your side it really helps to understand what it is she maybe going through.  i don't know of any kind of drug abouse in her past.  she did have a drinking problem when she was a teenager and the again briefly when we first got together.  then i had a talk with her, telling her that it was not going to be tolorated from me.  i did not ask her to stop completely though.  i told her that she had no self control.  once she started drinking she just does not stop or does not say no more.  i told her i thought a drink here or there at home were ok as long as she could keep it under control.  also when she does drink all she does is start a fight with me.  after we had this talk she stopped drinking completely.  i was so proud of her.  the other night, we went out with friends for her birthday.  it was the first time she had drank since then.  i think the pills had alot if not all to do with her drinking again.

[txm85]

thank you so much too.  like i said to luck2balive, i really like hearing the other side.  it really helps to understand her better.  i think the more i learn from you guys and hear about what helped you the better i will be able to do.  i have been going out of my way all day to tell her that i love her.  i tell her i'm going to do what ever it takes to help her.  i ask her how she is felling.  she seems to be annoid.  but if this is helping then i'll keep it up.  i'm not backing off though.  i will pour my hart and soul into getting my wife back.  i have been calm about this the whole time.  i thought the same thing, that if i yell and scream it would just push her away.  i have not yelled or raised my voice yet even though she has been yelling at me.  she has calmed down though and started to lisen.  i think this is a critiacal point.  but you are right about the friend.  i don't at all try to hide my feelling for her.  not just now but for as long as i have known her.  i don't know how i can possibly go to her.  any suggestions?  i am willing to try if you think it will help.  once again thank you so much for your advise and your help.

[txm85]

thank you.  you have been helping also.  everyone here is so great and so eager to help anyway possible.  i can't thank everyone enough for thier advise, support, suggestions and just for caring.  i will do some more reading other post.  i started by doing that before signing up and posting today.  how is your daughter doing?  hope all is going well and thank you again.

[Teetime4u]

Your welcome, my daughter is very deep into her addiction, and unfortunately not ready to stop. I am in a place where I know I can't force anything and I just pray that God. Can bring her back to me. He is in control now.Thanks for asking. I agree with you that this site is so helpful, its hard to understand addiction if you have never been there. Everyone here is so helpful!! God Bless them all in their battles won and waging! Good luck with your wife and if you need someone to vent to feel free to contact me. It can be fustrating, God Bless!

[txm85]

i have talked to a friend that is police officer.  He says the amount of residue on the foil is almost certainly a pill of some kind.  he said that if it was herion it is way too much and even if there was a couple of poeple smoking it that they could have all od'd.  does this sound correct to you?  the lines are in some cases 4 to almost 8 inches long in two lines coming out of the same point.  some look a dark brown in color and some are black.  hard to tell a differance though.

[gnarly_1]

HI.....I always feel for the wifes and husbands that come looking for help with there spouse
right now you wife is in dangerous water...sound like she smoking oxy by the evidence your describing my question here is did you find all the evidence or only some of it 14 tins over 3 weeks means she likes it but it might not have a hold of her bad yet...I can assure you if she keeps doing it it will only go in frequency and amount as time progress ....she needs help now b/4 this gets any worst....but you got to want help b/4 your going to get any and theres not much you can do util she wants help...to her right no is all fun and games it fun getting high but once it grabs a hold of you and you develop a dependency she will need it just to feel normal...she not far from that point...you best bet is sitting her down and having a heart to heart with her tell her you researched it and how dangerous what she is doing is....tell her its very ez to become addicted doing what she is doing...and tell her you want her to get help b/4 its to late...beyond that theres not much you can do till she wants help for you I highly recommend alanon meetings
there designed for people living with a family member who is addicted it will give you support and teach you how to love them without enabling them...I feel for you it not fair you and your child should have to go threw this...keep posting and read the post
as far as signs she is using...pined out pupils falling asleep have to leave the house for long periods of time money coming up missing ....good luck with all this and God bless.....Gnarly      

[Teetime4u]

Honestly whether its oxycotin, or black tar heroin its all opiates. That is what you are dealing with one way or another.Lookup opiates on google it will give you the signs, and so on. But it is hard to tell when someone is using opiates sometimes. Good luck!