5th wk off OC 1wk off Sub - isolated & life upside down

[Ginger7]

Haven't posted in awhile. I never EVER thought I'd get even this far. Tried for years. Have to say, suboxone was a lifesaver for me (tho I'd advise trying everything else 1st. Who needs another drug ?). I'm a week off suboxone, and tired is my only complaint. No desire or craving for a pill to take me out of it. Withdrawal from sub might come later (?)

However, if I listed everything that's managed to happen in the course of these 5wks, it would sound like BS. Husband. Best friend, never fight, everything peachy for 10 yrs suddenly started lying and cheating. It's the last thing on earth I would've predicted, ESPECIALLY now! May just be having IT relationship so far, but I doubt it & don't care anyway. Posted rambling and upset about this a few weeks ago, but then was too afraid to come back!  Seeing any reference to it (even replies to my own post, not just his stupid hidden chats) makes my heart literally hammer & I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Then, my pet of 10yrs DIED last week. ...And there's more. A LOT more. If I wrote it all it'd sound like I was either making it up or crazy.

That's it. I haven't worked outside the home. I have a degree, but after 10yrs, don't think that's going to help. Plus, in default on old student loan so transcripts might be a bit tough. Im getting ahead of myself. The point of this was to describe how isolated, crushed, & beyond devastated about my baby (my pet) passing away & being betrayed like this. I'm still in shock. I have managed to keep my knowing under wraps tho. He just thinks I'm "depressed". Which, of course, I am.

So, for what it's worth, I can tell u that suboxone can work. Especially with all this.

Anybody else get hammered with problems right when things are finally turning around with your addiction? God, I feel like I'm either being punished or tested. Either way it *****.

Good luck to everybody. Hang tight with your plan, it is possible to get off this junk if I can make it 5 weeks - I was eating OC's like they were tic-tacs.

[Ginger7]

All I can say is thank you SO much for that. To be honest tho, whether it was sub or adrenaline - it was weird, wasn't really a will power thing. Almost like this struggle I thought would be forever just stopped

Halstead124 -

I'm not sure exactly what your question is, but happy to answer if I understand what your looking for. Didn't have that kind of racket u went through, that's HORRIBLE. I saw a regular dr. But had to pay cash. $100 a visit. Was going to try to keep it ALL cash, but in the end, went through insurance for script, was $80 maybe? Was on 16mg then 8 then quit.

If u can help it, I wouldn't stay on for more than a month or two. Can u go through a regular dr.? Supposedly, it IS kept private, that's why the cash. And contrary to rumor, at least in MD/DE, there is no "database" to label u for live - at least for suboxone alone taken from one Dr.

Let me k ow if u r having trouble finding Dr. That won't take advantage.

And I may only b off a week, but really, I've had no issue. And I've tried DOZENS of times, every way under the sun, and every time it was pure hell. I feel for what your going through.

Again Sudie58, THANKS :) I really, really appreciate the kind words,

Take care guys & hang in there

[halstead124]

HI,READ YOUR POST ABOUT YOUR TIME ON SUBOXONE I ENTERD AN OUT DETOX KINDA THING AND THE SUBOXONE WORKED BUT AFTER AWHILE I JUST DIDNT FEEL THEY WERE HELPING AND PLUS DUDE CLEARLY CONNECTED TO THE MOB WAS SHAKING ME DOWN FOR SOME WEEKS IT WAS 275$THEN WHEN U DROPPED ONCE A MONTH WAS  375.00 AND MANDATORY MEETING ONCE A MONTHFOR YES ANOTHER  100 AND THEN THE PILLS FOR 11 OF THEM WAS LIKE  100.00 BUCKS A WEEK AND REASURED ME THAT I WILL BE ON THESE THE REST OF MY LIFE,KINDA LIKE YOUR EXPERIENCE,THJANKS HAD TO ASK

[sudie58]

oh, bless you, i am so sorry you lost your pet, and you really are going through a bad time, i really admire that you havent used among all that is being thrown at you! you done so well 5 weeks!  never , ever be afraid to come on here, your cared about, and will never be judged, my thoughts are with you, god bless,   sudie