28 days clean of pain killers! I have never even come close to 4 weeks during my whole time of addiction to the hydrocodone. I really never commited to quiting before. Before it was trying to go as long as possible without them was my goal. I think 1 time in 2 and a half years I made it about 3 weeks with nothing. But of course my refill was ready to pick up, so I started to viscious circle again. Probably had a hand full of times where I went 2 weeks without anything, but again...prescription would come and off to the pharmacy I would go. It's crazy when I think about it. I mean 2 weeks cold turkey is a huge step. But, unfortunately I never set in my mind that I actually wanted to quit. So when I finally got sick of this funk, it was impossible for me to go a few days, yet alone the 2 weeks. Plus over time the withdrawls would get worse and worse. In the beginning when I would go 2 weeks without anything I could handle the withdrawls. After over 2 years, I was sure I would die when I had withdrawls, hoping sometimes I would die.
I was a little nervous coming into today because it was another tapering day. Today I went from 4mg to 2mg. The reason I was nervous was because those who were experienced Suboxone takers said that the tapering would get tough after the 4mg mark. But, I literally feel exactly the same as my previous tapering days from which I went from 8mg to 6mg and a few days ago went from 6mg to 4mg. It's such a relief to feel just as well because it tells me that if my body can't take the full taper, at least 2mg works. That's literally a quarter of my pills. 2 more days at 2mg and I will taper again to 1mg for 3 days just in time to taper to nothing on the 16th. I'm SO ANXIOUS to get to that point. I can't wait to start my Suboxone Tracker, haha. I'll have to admit...I've had some cravings the last few days. The main reason is this.....before my absolute favorite time taking hydrocodone is when I was basically clean because that first dose was the most amazing buzz. Unfortunately you continue to chase that buzz each day, but nothing was better than the first dose after not taking them for a couple weeks. So a thought will pop in my head before I would take my daily dose of Subxone that if I took a couple hydrocodone I would get that buzz. I haven't come close to acting it out, but it ***** to even have that brief thought. So one side effect I'm currently having is a very small craving.
Anyway, overall I'm extremely happy. Thanks for the support and I'm here for everyone looking to get clean. Good luck to all of you!
BQ