to make a long story short.....I hope..

[Mandapanda17]

hi everyone!
I've been dealing with some issues lately. Mostly regarding my tracker on here. Been back to the doctor a few times over the last month, finally today I was seen by the neck specialist. I've been taking 5mg vicodin, about 4 times daily. I've taken days off here and there, it wasn't my DOC, but as most of you know its darn close enough. Today the neck specialist 'thinks' that I have a problem with my C6 or possibly C5 disks in my spine. It does explain the horrible pain I've been in for almost 7 years now. Most of you know I had 2 shoulder surgeries, pretty much for no reason at all, because my first surgeon was knife happy. My new doctor is not, thank GOD! There hopefully will be other options for me. At this point I'm icing, using relafen 3x's daily and vicodin 3-4 times a day depending on my pain levels. I have NOT abused the meds in any way, nor do I plan to. I still just don't feel right about having the tracker on there! Its my conscience getting the best of me.. HOW DO I GET RID OF IT??? couldn't find any way to delete it. I feel badly for anyone I've let down, you all have helped so much in my recovery. I am trying to find a balance in my life, dealing with pain and such. I am very aware that I could be addicted to meds quickly again, I am thankful to everyone here for making me AWARE that I am an addict and the consequences that come with addiction. So here I am, finding the balance between addiction, and chronic pain. I will not be leaving this forum, not now...probably not ever.. love y'all and thanks for reading my extremely long post!! And please do let me know if anyone knows how to get rid of trackers?? thanks!! xoxo

[Mandapanda17]

thanks so much for the support!! As always, everyone has been so good to me here and I am so thankful for all of you! :) I'm going to keep my clean time, and if anything changes I'm always going to be honest w/ myself and everyone here. I hope this doctor can figure out exactly what the problem is and then I won't have to deal with these kinds of things for a long time I hope! I am happy that a doctor is finally paying enough attention to get to the root of my back/neck/shoulder problems. And to Lovemypillhead- thanks for the heads up, I would've posted there, I just knew many of you that I wanted to read this wouldn't see it over there. If it gets moved, it gets moved I guess..lol thanks again everyone! xoxo

[gizzy32]

Manda im sorry your in pain and your tracker is the least of your worries right now. You have not abused these pills in anyway and that takes a lot of willpower. The fact you have some guilt just shows how serious you are about your recovery. You tracker should stay where it is just like everyone said and give yourself some credit, you have been though a lot lately and STILL clean. hang in there and feel better soon. Take another trip to Reno, haha.

[HelpinUtah]

Manda:

I completely agree with Cathy!  I don't see any reason for you to have to take down your tracker - you have done nothing wrong taking the medication as prescribed for a short amount of time!  :)

[lovemypillhead]

sorry i posted that on the wrong forum :o(  by bad!

[lovemypillhead]

thanks! (about the note)  i wondered.........

[lovemypillhead]

Hey!

Sorry to hear ur upset...............but, it's ok. You gotta get thru this and u will.

Heads up tho...u may want to move this post.  I posted the other day asking what a certain medicine was (pain killer) and i was told the post was basically not appropriate for this site due to the addicts that read it.  And, the post/thread was moved to pain management.  So since u are openly saying that you are taking vicodin, they may have a problem with that.

Just a head's up!

[grimgirl]

Hi....I was thinking the exact same as Cathy.....if you are in pain....are prescribed them for it....and not abusing......there is NO REASON for you to delete your tracker.   At some point in life most addicts will have to face taking some sort of medication for pain...but if it is short term and not abused...I would think that does not count as falling....Just my opinion....Good Luck and you have a lot to be very proud of!!!  Don't sell yourself short :)))  xxoo

[cathy5841]

MANDA...i am not understanding you...you are prescribed pain meds and taking as prescribed...hopefully for a short tome..you do not ned to delete your tracker...last week i was in the hospital, i was getting demerol every 2 hours.....I AM NOT GONE GIVE UP MY 1 YEAR AND 4 DAYS CLEAN.  and neither  should you.  BUT, if you start to abuse or take when you dont absolutely have to have them thats another story...so be honest with your self and if you are not abusing youdont have to give up your clean time....you do need to get off them as soon as possible...maybe you can try physical therapy or the epi-steroid block...the problem with taking after you have been addicted is it is soooo very easy to sleep and fall.  i love ya sweetie.

[10356]

Hi Manda so sorry to hear you are having to deal with so much pain.. I need a shoulder replacement and will be facing my demon again.. I had spoken with my Dr. that I no longer want my Norco.. But that if the need arises that I should it will not be long term... I know after my surgery I will go through wd again but it will not be from a 5 year habit.. I'm not as afraid this time as I have found I can be happy straight :) That was half my fear..
As for the trackers mines off as I'm only 67 days not 97 I do not know how to fix it ... I thought about deleting it also I feel as though it is lying to everyone..
Do not beat yourself up over a need.. You are not abusing and that counts for everything... You know I always wish you well.. Maybe after my surgery we will quit together again :)  lesa

[Mandapanda17]

okay, figured it out, theres a small trash can next to your tracker when you're looking at the add trackers page. disappointing to see it go, but its what I had to do for now. :(

[Mandapanda17]

thanks maria, I'll try that :) hope you're well!!

[merrymaria]

i think you look at all trackers and when you come to yours there should be a place to delete because i did my mood and pain tracker this way.  hope this helps...maria