two weeks free of tramadol

[Arnouddegroot]

Hey guys I just wanted to let you know, today I am two weeks clean of tramadol. Psysical wd have almost al subsided but I'm still quickly tired (all day long). I'm also still suffering from the post-flu symptoms such as having a cold, coughing my lungs up and being tired. Mentally its getting better each couple of days.

Since I have moved to my first own house I have also had alot of stress lately so that may have influenced the process.

I have noticed that I do not crave the drug al to much, but that I do crave a daily high. I just want to be high on something, could be alcohol, ghb, amfetamine, benzo, opiate or whatever. This is something which really bothers me, but I think it got used to me to be high on a daily base on tramadol, so now Im feeling like I miss something, which makes me crave.

Well... last thing I wanted to say, thanks for supporting me trough the first stage of w/d from a drug which messes with the mind like none else. I am going to university again and am living in another area now so I think new things are going to happen and old things are going to fade :)

love from a recovering addict

[YesLife4Me]

This is when the 'real' work begins.  At first we are so glad to be out of the physical withdraw and rejoice at that freedom.  Then day to day living and routine kicks in.  Our brains are still healing so our emotions start to wreak havoc on us.   You have to force yourself to keep busy.   I know for me, even doing an activity I normally enjoyed seemed like a chore, but once I started getting into it, soon the time passed by and I was feeling better.   As addicts, we will always crave some kind of high or escape from our feelings but we learn to manage those.   You are doing great.   It does get better.  

[Missy1231984]

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time today!  I just started coming off tramadol 10 days ago and the feeling you are describing are exactly what I am afraid of.  It is party what got me taking the pills in the first place.  I was depressed ad had anxiety.  Do you go to any kind of therapy?  Have you looked into anti depressants?  I don't know much about either but I am thinking I should look Ito it myself.  I am also going to start exercising.  I have no motivation within my self to do it, but I am going to make myself anyway.   I hope your day gets better!  I also want to say that 2 weeks is absolutely amazing!  I admire you for fighting this and not giving up!  Tramadol messes with our heads so much.  I hope I can get to where you are soon.  

[Arnouddegroot]

Pffff.... today I'm having some bad moments. I went to school as usual and had a perfectly normal day until I came home. I got bored and sat there alone watching trought the windows...wanting to go for a run or do something but not finding the motivation to really do it. Been drinking 2 glasses of wine and sitting here and suddenly I thought it would be good to pick up my sketch book. You should know I am a very good drawer and consider myself as an artist... but I havent touched a marker since I kicked tramadol. So I was looking at the pictures I have drawn trough years and years andsuddenly I just needed to cry. It feels like I have destroyed things I was real good at and which I liked so much by taking these pills, because right now I just dont feel any joy in it. I dont feel the urge to draw or paint, to go for a run or to socialize with my friends. It feels like my life is actually not as it was before and during pilltime. I know its only 15 days now, and mentally its getting better but today was the first time I had to cry. Just hate myself for what I did to myself... I really really hope I will find joy in things I liked to do again. I really hope my mental state will return back to when I was not taking pills. This sudden moment of realisation today was just a bit tomuch ... you guys are the only ones I share it with.

And btw, another thing I have been noticing is lack of concentration, ofcourse there is alot on my mind (beside the pills I have a lot of stress of other things in life such as living on my own for the first time since 5 days) but as I said my concentration is so bad. Right now I cannot read a book or focus on college like I could before and during pilltime (in the beginning). I know I am very intelligent and I used to be happy and satisfied almost everyday, but right now I feel life has less value and I'm very scared that I will never get back to my old self for 100 percent. If that is true I really have destroyed myself by taking this pills and thinking of that just made me cry today.

Another thing what bothers me is that since I got this habbit I became different than most other people. No one seems to see it because I can hide and lie pretty good now... but I used to be carefull with pills and drugs but somehow I got into it and right now I do think very lightely about most other drugst too, unless most tother people and unless me a year ago do. What I'm trying to say is that by creating this habbit of taking a mind altering substance on daily base (tramadol) I have changed in such a way that I also care less about taking other mind altering stuff. Its in my head al day long, why not take some amfetamine in the morning to get going and feel good (What the ****?) or why not drink some alcohol in the evening or even earlier? I wasnt like this before pilltime and I dont want to be like it, I want to be like my friends, like normal people who dont think about drugging themselfs everyday, and just go out to find joy in normal stuff.

Im sorry for my long story with no clue in it, just felt like I had to write it down, I feel like there is a long road of recovery in front of me. And I feel like I need you on that road to aid me.

[FourJays]

Congrats on 2 weeks clean!  That is great, especially considering all of the crap you have been going through.  I think the feeling of wanting a "high" is just part of our addict thinking and will probably lurk around us forever.  I know I still feel it too, everyday, but it really does get better and better.  Keep yourself busy with the positive things in your life - a new place and going back to school.  You are so young and have a whole lifetime ahead.  Enjoy every clean day and know it will only get better.  It was great to hear from you . . . keep it up and good luck with school!
Julie

[killerzoey]

Hi!!! I'm so glad to see you're two weeks clean now! You really went through the wringer and have a lot to be proud of. Congrats on your new place :)

I was behind you by a few days...though I've been off Tramadol nearly a monthI just quit the hydrocodone ten days ago. I can relate to the selling of wanting to take something to feel good. It is a deeply engrained habit. I have been taking supplements that support my mood and maybe this helps.

I'm so glad you posted an update.

[blotout]

you see that right there sounds exactly like me, just want the daily high, i kinda got over it on methadone or at least while i was on it, Congrats on the clean time, but beware the daily high it lead me from pain pills to coke in 08, then finally quit that went back to pain pills then to methadone, you gotta find something else to fill that empty feeling because ive found the void just gets bigger and wants more, Good Luck!!!!