Aa
what a waste
I am just shy of 5 months clean and here i am in so much pain. It just never ends, i finally get my life back together, get clean and now i am a mess. All the pain to get clean and stay clean was just a waste of time for me. How is one to live in pain and be opiate free, and yet can't take opiates because they got the best of me. Off to the surgeon on thursday to see what the heck is wrong with me, at this point i am just so frustrated, scared, and depressed. I CT the Cylmbalta and that was he!!, and now this, it just never ends. Depression has kicked in on overdrive and my quality of life has deteriorated, what do i have to look forward too, absolutely nothing:( Sorry to be such a downer i just needed to vent out my frustrations.
Hey Dane, Why the surgery? Sorry, haven't followed your story. 5 months is huge.....more please.
If you haven't, can you explain to your doc and let him/her know that you'd really like to avoid opioid meds; is there something else that can help?
And you shouldn't feel bad IF you have legit pain issues. I might have to have shoulder surgery; my doc knows that I'm an addict and is going to help, however, just after the operation I will need meds in order to do PT and to heal. So, my wife will pick up my meds, count them daily, and give me pills per the doc's orders. There will be NO refills available. When the first script is done, I will see the doc and try to switch to OTC pain relief.
Anyway, that's my plan. If you have someone you can trust, then get them involved.
And you shouldn't feel bad IF you have legit pain issues. I might have to have shoulder surgery; my doc knows that I'm an addict and is going to help, however, just after the operation I will need meds in order to do PT and to heal. So, my wife will pick up my meds, count them daily, and give me pills per the doc's orders. There will be NO refills available. When the first script is done, I will see the doc and try to switch to OTC pain relief.
Anyway, that's my plan. If you have someone you can trust, then get them involved.
I just wanted to say to you that I know how hard this struggle has been for you. You and I share the same clean time and I know all that you endured to get to this point. I can FEEL the pain and depression in your words. I sent you a PM today because I do believe some of the depression is normal for us. I don't have words that I can share about what to do for your pain however I do believe you have really good doctor's and I believe between you, hubby and your doctor you will come up with a successful plan. Honey never feel this was a waste of time, I know so much of your depression is NOT KNOWING what is wrong right? So on Thursday you will find out and with the same courage it took for you to go to detox, you will deal with whatever Thursday brings. I have total confidence in you and I know the strength you have inside you. You are a real fighter and I believe in you, it will all be okay. I am proud of how far you have come, really proud!!!!!
Hi punkin face !
Well, you know EXACTLY how I feel about this sort of thing...I know your history...I know what's wrong with your leg...so I'm going to say this and no one better yell at me...LOL
TAKE THE PAIN MEDS!!!
Period
Well, you know EXACTLY how I feel about this sort of thing...I know your history...I know what's wrong with your leg...so I'm going to say this and no one better yell at me...LOL
TAKE THE PAIN MEDS!!!
Period
Hey Dane! Now you know better than that! It certainly hasn't been a waste, far from it! I'm sorry you are depressed and having to deal with this! Step back, take a breath or two, and try to relax! There are ways to deal with this! Kyle gave you an example! You are going into this with your eyes wide open! You are gonna be fine, we will be here for you! Take care!
COMMUNITY LEADER
If you are having legitimate issues with pain then set a plan in place Dane. You dont have to suffer.
AND stop saying this has all been for nothing. You know that isnt true. Now be a good girl and tell yourself you are the bomb!! lol
AND stop saying this has all been for nothing. You know that isnt true. Now be a good girl and tell yourself you are the bomb!! lol
Sara...get the umbrella ready (i almost said broom! LMAO) We need to get over there and bring ice cream!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
No she needs me on my broom. Time to bring the smack down, coated with ice cream! I have connections ya know!! LMAO
Yeah dane where are you? We are here for you - and I'm going to tell you again this was NOT a waste. You found some happiness after you quit, I know you did. But if you have serious and legitimate pain, girl you need to deal with that and stop beating yourself up.
Hubby knows the whole story now about your addiction issues and he WILL support you through whatever you need to get through. And honestly, honey, I'm not sure stopping your AD was the right thing to do. Did you start taking another one? Because depression is a real issue (has been for sometime now right?) and needs to be dealt with. There is NO shame in that.
Talk to us.
Hubby knows the whole story now about your addiction issues and he WILL support you through whatever you need to get through. And honestly, honey, I'm not sure stopping your AD was the right thing to do. Did you start taking another one? Because depression is a real issue (has been for sometime now right?) and needs to be dealt with. There is NO shame in that.
Talk to us.
Dane, get your butt back here or I WILL find you! You are human and I agree with Vicki! Your ice cream is melting!
"TAKE THE PAIN MEDS!!!"
I agree. I think it's foolish to be in pain because some guilt trip about taking pain meds.
I agree. I think it's foolish to be in pain because some guilt trip about taking pain meds.
Thanks for that...I feel strongly about pain management. NO ONE should ever suffer, it's like a kind of punishment and the last thing we should have is punishment.
I think this should be talked about more often. Sometimes we get so guilt tripped about taking meds for pain that we won't. It's wrong and it's not the point of recovery.
I wish Dana would post back. If she did take some meds, she better not be calling it a relapse...
I think this should be talked about more often. Sometimes we get so guilt tripped about taking meds for pain that we won't. It's wrong and it's not the point of recovery.
I wish Dana would post back. If she did take some meds, she better not be calling it a relapse...
I could not agree more! Yes, this certainly does warrant a good discussion! Life happens! Injuries, surgery, dental work, it all happens! The key is to have a well thought out plan and to follow it! I'm not naive enough to think that it's easy, but it is doable! Thanks, for the food for thought!
You still owe me a vacuum!
You still owe me a vacuum!
Im proud of you for beating your vacuum to death! Now you want me to buy you a new one after I gave you PRICELESS information?? LOL You silly!
It's not easy but we can adjust to it. So we can't take pain meds in huge numbers every single day?? No. It's not good for anyone. But a med for pain?? Certainly. It's all about having a plan just as Sara said before. I just wish this weren't such an issue with people. I wonder if this was discussed when she was at the rehab facility...
It's not easy but we can adjust to it. So we can't take pain meds in huge numbers every single day?? No. It's not good for anyone. But a med for pain?? Certainly. It's all about having a plan just as Sara said before. I just wish this weren't such an issue with people. I wonder if this was discussed when she was at the rehab facility...
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way! Don't you dare give up! You said that to me not so long ago. I'm sorry your pain is bad. Hopefully the doctor can come up with something. I'll say a prayer())))hugs)))) bkitty
COMMUNITY LEADER
Dane.....Be a good girl and let us know what is going on with you. If you dont you wont be a good girl.
Okay , I am getting worried here, PLEASE let us know how you are, we ALL care about you and NEED to hear from you!!!!! I just knew when I logged on, we would have heard something from you,we care let us know SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!
hi guys i am here not feeling too good as yesterday was a very difficult day for me. I just needed to be alone so i did isolate myself a bit and then went to dinner with hubby as he is so worried about me, and i ordered a drink, and then another, i don't want to hear crap about that either it was better than the alternative. After dinner i fell asleep and was wide awake around midnight, so hubby decided he wanted to talk, well that did go over to well. I am not a talker i internalized all my feelings so he is pulling me for information, poor guy is just so worried about my emotional state and my leg. The questions he was asking me just were so overwhelming, "What if you need another surgery?" What if the dr says this is your new way of life"? ETC..... Well, i got into panic mode got up, to go to bed as i was not feeling well and the dizziness just continued, and BAM i feel flat out on my head/face, and fainted. NOw that i look like a beat up gal, my husband is a mess, i scared the crap out of him and then the poor guy felt so guilty, he feels that he pushed me to hard. What am i a flipping dainty flower!!!!! I should be able to handle a conversation that i am use to, this is not news to me about my medical condition as this is something i have been through my entire life. As for the AD med, no i am not on anything, it didn't do crap and i didn't like the side affects, if i was not in pain i would be fine. "mama bear" I didn't take any meds, i do not have any or access to any, and i don't want any. Rehab never discussed taking pain meds they preach the holistic approach. i will have no choice to come up with a plan after i see what the doc says tomorrow, and yes he knows about my opiate addiction and he is not the kind of man to care about that or understand it, he would just say take the meds. So really i am doomed, i either am going to hear this is the best its going to get and deal with it, or you need another surgery, either way they both s u c k. Seriously it just never ends, and going back on pills will only lead me back to where i was 5 months ago, and that was not a pretty site as allot of you know.
Sorry about being like this, i just do not know what to do anymore....
Sorry about being like this, i just do not know what to do anymore....
I completely agree with EVERYTHING Vicky said. You can do this and there is a solution in all of this. I know how strong you are and I KNOW with hubby, your Dr. and youself, you WILL find the solution. You are in my thoughts today and I know come tomorrow you will feel emotionally some better. Dane you are one strong girl and I will be thinking of you, it WILL be okay.
I'm in a similar boat as you, though my clean time pales in comparison.
All I can think of is to explore other addiction groups, like food addiction or sex addiction. I find these are different than substance addiction because you can't not eat and you can't not...well, you can, but that's no fun. So I'm going to check them out and see if I can learn management techniques for my own surgery that's coming up. I don't know if there's something there that may be valuable to you, too.
Whatever the case, like others have said, your hard work is NOT a waste. You've done an amazing thing, and that you keep on going despite chronic pain is a testament to your resolve. I hope that you're able to find a solution that you're comfortable with.
All I can think of is to explore other addiction groups, like food addiction or sex addiction. I find these are different than substance addiction because you can't not eat and you can't not...well, you can, but that's no fun. So I'm going to check them out and see if I can learn management techniques for my own surgery that's coming up. I don't know if there's something there that may be valuable to you, too.
Whatever the case, like others have said, your hard work is NOT a waste. You've done an amazing thing, and that you keep on going despite chronic pain is a testament to your resolve. I hope that you're able to find a solution that you're comfortable with.
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I'm here sipping my coffee (mmmm delicious) and thinking about you. I see EXACTLY where you're stuck and, you're right, you're miserable either way!
Usually there's a "happy medium" in difficult situations. Look for it. I can see one right now. First, manage the pain and then manage the addiction. One may balance the other...
You can't be in pain Dana. Everyone knows that will destroy quality of life. but, you CAN control the addiction. I've told you this with other words. Just because we've been addicted to pills does NOT mean we can never take them again! We just have to watch it!! So, if you take the pills for pain and find you're taking more than needed because they're so lovable, you'll have to be aware of it and intervene with yourself. That's why you have a support system in place.
You're not an island Dana. You're not alone in this! You've been dealt a pretty s h itty hand in this life so now you need to WORK WITH IT! You can't change anything but you can work around it. I really think you can get to place of comfort and happiness just by compromising and accepting a few things. My advice is to talk with your husband today and get yourself some pain meds. A little chat with the doctor tomorrow is in order as well. There's a solution and a plan for this, just stop being so ------- independent!
Love, Mama Bear