Sick of this Rollercoaster

[Norcosette]

I need help.  I have an addiction to hydrocodone 10mg, 10 tablets per day.  This started innocently enough about 7 years ago with the 7.5 mg tablets when the doctor prescribed them for me due to leg pain from an accident. This isn't fun anymore.  All I do is obsess about when and where I'm going to get more pills and will literally spend my last dollar on them. Would rather do the pills than eat.  I tried going cold turkey a few times, but every time the withdrawals start in, I break down and buy more pills so I don't have to feel that way.  I can't take off work and I don't know how I can get through a work day with those dreadful withdrawal symptoms.  Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.  

[IBKleen]

Welcome to the forum.

We were/are all on that roller coaster. Many of us are clean today because we made the decision to stop. that simple..we stopped. Yes, the withdrawal sucks, but you will not die from it. What have you gone thru to get your pills? think about that. It is a full time job. So, a few days of withdrawal and you can get your life back. If you want some help with supplements, and other things that we have tried, this is the place. Hope you make the decision to stop. GL

[Norcosette]

I have gone through more **** than I'd like to admit to get pills.  It's awful.  Thank you so much for your kind words.  What kinds of supplements and things helped you?

[worried878]

Look up the thomas recipe...I just went thru this at close to your daily dosage....7 days clean ...yippie!

[GoingToMakeIt]

I have the Thomas Recipe in my journals. Click on my name and go to journals. Some people are buying 'Amino Fuel' and extra L-Tyrosine. It has about everything in it.

[Norcosette]

Thanks worried878.  I am going to look for it right now.  :)

[Norcosette]

GoingTomakeIt - thanks so much, I found it!  I do have one question though.  Why is it better not to take Xanax unless that is all you can get?  I don't have any of the other medications, but I do have Xanax.  The ones I have are the lowest dose (i think). They are the .5's.

[IBKleen]

there you go hun..told you folks here will help you. I am serious..ther is help and the people who are responding are proof. Stick here and you will get help and get thru this. I am pulling for you....I really think you are one of the ones who wants this......

[Norcosette]

It is really good to read everybody's stories here, and to know that I can actually succeed in getting off these things by using some of these suggestions. Congratulations to all of you who have been able to get off the rollercoaster!  :)

[GoingToMakeIt]

I believe Xanax is way more addicting than the others. I used Xanax, but only a few days. That was it. Don't get hooked on them.

[Norcosette]

Yes, I really DO want this.  I'm scared to death of the withdrawals and the depression though.  It just seems I can't be "naturally" happy, or in other words, I feel that I have to be on the pills to feel happy in my life.

[Norcosette]

GoingtoMakeIt.....thank you for the reply.  Believe me, I don't want to add another addiction to what I'm already dealing with.  I have a good friend who was addicted to Ativan and the withdrawal she described sounded absolutely horrific.  I've had a long-standing prescription of Xanax for about 10 years, but have never been addicted to them, and don't EVEN wanna go there.

[IBKleen]

No hun..you don't need the pills to make you happy. Unfortunately, as addicts, we lack the ability to naturally make ourselves happy (chemical wise). So, when we get clean, we need to change our behavior and re-learn, or learn in the first place, ways to pleasure ourselves without the use of drugs. It is often such simple things and we don't see it. First things first..put he drugs down, get thru the detox and then these wonderful folks here can help you thru how to get on with your life. Is it a deal????

[Norcosette]

Thank you for all your input IBKleen.

worried878 - can you please tell me the worst part of what you experienced in your withdrawal please?

[Norcosette]

Dang, i just realized i'm posting on this thing wrong.  I just posted a question to you in my previous post.  I typed the subject in the "To" box.  Stupid me, haha

[Norcosette]

Lately, I have been marveling at all the people around me, at work, at home, my family, etc...and how they all seem to be happy people without pills to help them along.  I hope I can get back to being a normal person soon.

[sterling_silver]

Products like Amino Fuel are a good product. They do have a lot of different amino acids.
Say for, building muscle if you are a weight lifter.But, if you read the label.It is very low doses.Amino Acid therapy that has been used in drug rehabs to mend the addicts brain, contains amino acids at much higher doses. It is best to buy each one separate, so you can take the proper dose. Also, so you can see which ones work best for you.Some are good for energy,some for sleep,some for depression, etc.
Also, I admire you for all the help and support you give to everyone.

[ChronicCaroline]

Hi- I am in the same boat as you right now. I truely understand how ya feel about watching people and family around you doing it all completely drug free and just as happy if they were taking hydro too! Maybe they are and we just don't know??? lol!I am always thinking that kind of stuff...ALWAYS!
I would probably be floored if I actually totalled the amount time I spent in a day wondering about pills (23hrs\24hrs), even when I have brand new script I worry about next week or whatever. The past few refills it has been better, I am weening slowly. My scripts last a couple days longer each time, and I am taking less a day. When I am taking none will be when I celebrate though. It will come, I am an addict and will always be a recovering addict. I will never give up on me, and don't give up on you!!!

I will pray for you!! Best of Wishes and Faith to you!

[Norcosette]

I think I'll try them ALL, LOL  

I would like to express a profound thank you, to all of you who contributed to my thread.  I know it is going to be hard, but I'm ready and I need to make this change in my life.  It is very nice to know that I can come here read what others have experienced, share and ask questions.  I have a feeling that I'm going to need this place very much when I start going down the path to recovery.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Good to know. I always take capsules. Thanks for the tip.

[Norcosette]

Wow, it's great to know that I'm not the only one thinking these things, LOL
I so wish I had done what you are doing now and weaned off of them slowly.  I just never could make myself take less.  Then I ran out of my scripts and now I'm faced with waiting two weeks for more, so I've decided NOT to locate any elsewhere.  Congratulations on your success with weaning off of them!  :)