will i ever be happy again?

Question

hi yall.im 33 days clean again,but i dont feel like a human being.i used to be easily motivated,up beat and happy. now im not.im just the opposite of all of that.i dont know how to be happy anymore.im on anti-deppressants but they arent helping.did i ruin myself after years of abuse?i look at everyone around and they "seem" to be happy go lucky.im always tired,bored,not motivated and lazy.when im in work all i want to do is go home to do absolutely nothing.i have a beautiful fiance',a new home(that is a never ending project) and a good job.but nothing makes me happy. i feel like its affecting my life more than the stuff did when i was using.feeling this way makes me want to use. so my question is, did i ruin myself?

Charetti · Answer

I feel that way and I am still using!  Makes me think that its still the evil drugs holding on and trying to drag you back. The only differnence is that when you are on the drugs you dont care about it so much.  

I am assuming it could take as much time to recover as it did to get sick. I dont mean time for time exactly, but it didnt happen overnight and neither will this.

kona2009 · Answer

Its gonna take time. 33 days is great. Take one day at a time. Your gonna have some bad days. Soon the good are gonna outnumber the bad before you know. Just think you'll be mudding it up on the quads this spring!

ThisIsIt983 · Answer

I feel the same way. Tired all the time. Zero motivation, low energy, sad & depressed. I have no reason to feel that way either. I also was happy, positive & upbeat before. I have heard about this happening when we quit. I guess it just takes time for the feel good receptors, think they are called dopamine, to go back to normal. Opiates kill a lot of them. I do hope they come back. Cause I am feeling so sad all the time. Cry for no reason. I sure haven't had any honeymoon phase getting off of the pills. Just makes me want to use. An hour ago I told my husband I think I am going to go on anti-depressants cause I just can't take feeling down anymore. But if they don't work I don't want to be dependent on another pill. Sorry I couldn't be of more help but I think it is normal to feel this way for a while.

over_it98 · Answer

i am five months clean and am still dealing with exactly what you described. i think the reason we are feeling this way is because we have "forgotten" how to live normal lives.  I am taking whey protein to fight the depression (which is what is sounds like you have) and it seems to be helping.  I look around on a daily basis and it seems like everyone else has it all together but you know, I am sure they don't.  I also feel like everyone knows how bad off I was and that really bothers me...but how would they know?  I think what we are going through is all mental and that it will subside in time.  we didn't get this way overnight and we don't become "normal" overnight either.  Keep your head up...things are going to get better!!

zbone · Answer

i work my butt off all day as a carpenter and with the way i feel it seems impossible to motivate myself to excersise,besides the no energy. i just want to be what ever normal is and i know im not now.thanks for getting back to me.

kalie1979 · Answer

I don;t think you ruined yourself. But i believe it takes a while for you nero transmeters (spelling) to start working again by there selfs. Are you taking any vitimans? And exercising will help build energy. Don't give in, you are doing awesome!!!!! Just give it some more time.

Kalie