help

[kimmi77]

Do antidepressants help with the depression that comes with withdrawl I'm considering starting my lexapro again .

[LadySailor86]

Sit tight kimmi, you'll get there. Just hang on.

[kimmi77]

Well talked to my Dr and started a antidepressant.  My Dr also said breastfeeding is a natural antidepressant so he prescribed a breast pump to help me return my milk supply. I had stopped due to the vicodin use. I am so tired. Yesterday was kinda a bad day. I'm not sure the zolaft is a antidepressant that's working for me but he said it's safe to use if I'm able to start breastfeeding. I'm just kinda going threw the motions of things right now.

[LadySailor86]

Good kimmi! Post partum feels like what u are familar with depression but toss in some more hormones and a new baby and pain and you brain takes you to a different level. It's very treatable and once they get you on the right med and it gets in your system you'll start to notice little things. Maybe you won't get mad as quick or scared as quick or wonder where your joy is. I remember when the fog started to leift after I got to the doc and got on the right thing. It's a very real thing though so you are making the right move. Keep us posted?

[lulu747]

I am so happy to hear you are going to be proactive and call the doc tomorrow.  If you tell them where you are at you DEFINITELY will be seen.  I certainly think you've been medicating a problem.  One of them physical pain and one of them emotional/hormonal.  It takes great strength and courage to admit this to yourself and on here and I commend you for that.  Please keep us posted as to what the doc says.  We all want you happy and healthy and around taking care of those beautiful babes of yours.
Much love
Lu

[kimmi77]

Ok I will call tomorrow and see what they say see if I can be seen sooner. I have a new symptom tonight sever dry mouth. Weird. I got a bit antsy after I got my kids down for bed feeling kinda like..I'm anticipating something bad to happen. It's a weird feeling. I wonder if that's why I clung on to the pills so easy. My past history of depression.  I felt happy on the pills plus it really did curb the pain. I was doing ok until my 8th day home. I had horrible pain in my incision then it opened up a bit on one end and was a infected mess they ran iv antibiotics plus pain med's plus more pain pills for at home. But even when the pain wasn't coming back after 4 hours I still took the pill. I definitely feel more hope today that I can do this. That it's not a life sentence of doom. I'm going to Google symptoms of PP depression. Thank u so much. I look forward to replys. This is my safe place.

[LadySailor86]

OK hold up, I just reread it all. I didn't realize this was all so recent. I had c sections and after my 2nd one I found myself going thru the pills a lot faster but my mind was just not right even ON the pills. You gotta talk to ur gyno about post partum depression. Sometimes it does not show up until a couple months after birth. I got diagnosed with it when my son was 9 weeks old. Talked to ur doc. This may definately be a case for antidepressants. I think I was on them for about 8 months after, them weaned off. So yourself a favor and call ASAP. You could actually be self medicating a very real issue and developing a new problem in the proccss. If u tell the doc office u feeling depressed you won't have to wait more than a couple days for an appt.  there's no shame in post partum and it's very treatable.  Been there done than! Please give them a call tomorrow. This, they will understand and get you thru it.

[LadySailor86]

OK hold up, I just reread it all. I didn't realize this was all so recent. I had c sections and after my 2nd one I found myself going thru the pills a lot faster but my mind was just not right even ON the pills. You gotta talk to ur gyno about post partum depression. Sometimes it does not show up until a couple months after birth. I got diagnosed with it when my son was 9 weeks old. Talked to ur doc. This may definately be a case for antidepressants. I think I was on them for about 8 months after, them weaned off. So yourself a favor and call ASAP. You could actually be self medicating a very real issue and developing a new problem in the proccss. If u tell the doc office u feeling depressed you won't have to wait more than a couple days for an appt.  there's no shame in post partum and it's very treatable.  Been there done than! Please give them a call tomorrow. This, they will understand and get you thru it.

[kimmi77]

Thank you so much. I have a appointment the 3rd of august to see me dr. Last week I tried to get in sooner as I knew I was going to be out of pills so I was trying to get seen to get more. Glad that wasn't possible. That being said I am not sure they could get me in sooner or not. I can call tomorrow.  I feel a a bit tired today I'm countering it with energy drinks and all natural supplements the mood up stress down I got yesterday. It's full of b12. I am proud of myself that I've came this far. I'm going to beat this. I have too.

[LadySailor86]

Kimmo, sweet mama, hang tight. The lows your are feelig are a part of it. Prly by the time you got anti dep built up you would be back on a better place. Do you have help? I have kids and I've had some help especially in those first few days where if I needed to be in bed I could. An aftercare plan like meetings even now would so wonders for your mind. You don't have long to go before your wD lighten up. Check out the Thomas recipe, for me it was the Gatorade immodium bananas hylands restless leg. Also since you were on an opoid with Tylenol in it, might not be a bad idea to take a little Tylenol for your aches. It's not addictive but a body can come to count on anything. I'm 8 days clean and I get it *****. But you are doing the best possible thing. Stick with it. U are so close and honestly you've already made the hardest decision. It's doable. I'm a big dang baby and I Did it you can do it. Keep postin.

[lulu747]

Hey Kimmi-

Glad that today is a bit brighter for you.  It is hard to determine when we feel happy again because everyone is different.  Personally, I felt happy as soon as the drugs left my body.  They were making me very depressed and as soon as I felt myself returning I felt awesome.
But-
I really think you have some other things coming into play here like your hormones and the isolation you are feeling.  You need some counselling and support.  Please don't try to do this alone, okay?  You need to be evaluated for PPD and talk this out with someone in real life.
When is your app't with the doc?
xo
Lu

[kimmi77]

How long before you felt happy again?

[kimmi77]

Well today seems a bit better. I'm not so fixated on trying to get pills and thinking about every 3 mins. I woke up feeling kinda hung over like but now awake I feel better. I'm proud of myself as I've made it thus far. Just gotta keep going keep fighting threw this. I will get back on here later ti update how the day goes. I just want the joy back in my life with out depending on a pill to do it. Thank u all that keep replying lulu thanks so much and all others I really appreciate the support

[lulu747]

Awe honey- no partner?  Trust me.  If you are honest with your doctor they are NOT going to judge you.  You had a pretty painful surgery and 5 weeks is not too long to be taking pain meds afterwards- even if you were over-using them.  Any doc worth their salt is going to look at you a new mother with a toddler on her own, and in need of help, and that's what they will do- help you.
So please put away the shame and blame.  You don't deserve it.  Imagine if someone else came on here and posted this story?  What would you tell them?  We are always way harder on ourselves than others.  The key to a healthy recovery is learning to be gentle, kind, and compassionate with ourselves.  You deserve no less than this.
I wish I were there to give you a big hug, look you in the eyes, and tell you that this is NOT your fault and that you are going to be just FINE.
But I'm not- so just know that I am here, we are all here, to support you.
xo
Lu

[kimmi77]

And unfortunately there isn't a nurse to come help. I'm in the us and there's nothing like that here...I wish!!

[kimmi77]

Yes c section 5 weeks ago I was on morphine in the hospital as I was in tears it hurt so bad. I had my tubs tied to which I guess is painful in itself then the tough delivery they had a heck of a time yanking him out.lol oh man..This place helps so much. I get weak I come check here to see what you guys say. It's hard not to beat myself up as I knew after two weeks when I kept requesting refills I was getting dependant but just kept at it. I scared what tomorrow will bring. I'm also embarrassed to tell my Dr I'm a pill popper now..what if he won't give me depression med's afraid I'm just shaping pills? My mind just races and I feel more emotional issues that physical.  Like I don't have the stomach issues I do have a headache tho. I am so tired but can't sleep. My husband works nights sleeps days so he's not much support.  You guys are it lol and I sure appreciate it

[glassguy]

You got this girl!!!!!!!! just keep on keeping.I'm on day 6 alittle bit better..no alot better.you can do it!!! I was scared to death. 6 days ago because of wds I was a 6 to10+ aday norcos user for back pain. I will now just take advil for pain. no more hydrocodone!!!! So please dont give up it can be done...MAY GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

[lulu747]

You know what?  The absolute LAST thing you should do is beat yourself up right now.  These pills grab LOTS of people fast- me, it took awhile, but they got me good in the end.  It is not your fault.  And look at you, you got off and you are doing what you can.  You are doing the best that you can do and so please, stop being so hard on yourself.  So you have a 2 year old and a 5 week old- do you have a husband or partner that is helping you?  Does this mean you were using during your pregnancy?  Did the doctor give you anything to help you get off like a taper plan or meds to help?  Clonidine is a BP med commonly used in opiate detox.  It really helped me with my second attempt at Cold turkey.  I would say my w/d's were half what they were the first time and I was on a way higher dose of stronger narcotics and for a longer period of time.
I'm just trying to get this straight so I can help you best....You're two year old was your C-section?  Or the 5 week old?  I am guessing that it was the 5 week old.  If so then YES PP is a definite possibility here, especially combined with the stress of a move and no car and no support.  Honey, I would be depressed too.  The good news is, if you've only been using the Vicodin for 5 weeks then your w/d should not go on much longer (the physical that is)
I am worried about your mental state.  You need and deserve support.  There are services here in Canada where nurses come out to the home to support new moms.  You really need a nurse at the very least, but more importantly a doctor that you can confide in about what is happening.
There is nothing wrong with you, and nothing to be ashamed of.  You've been through an incredibly difficult thing and with hormones in the mix- you need help to deal and heal.  Reach out wherever you can to get the support you need because YOU deserve it and your life is worth it.  No need to suffer alone, okay?
Please keep posting.
Sending hugs...
Lu

[Sonrissa]

Try not to be too hard on yourself. A lot of us started out taking pills for legitimate medical reasons. You have a lot on your plate right now. Is there anyone close to you that can help you with the 2 little ones? I think you may be on to something with the possible PP depression. Be sure to being this up with your doctor.  Try taking an Epsom Salt bath, if you can. This will help relax you and also help with restlessness.  Keep drinking lots of water or Gatorade, it will help flush your system.

Hang in there, Kimmi.  You can get through this!  Hugs!

[kimmi77]

I'm teary. I am angry I let myself get this way. I'm kinda in a difficult situation I have a 2 year old and also a 5 week old with no car. We live in a state were new to so I have no friends unlike ca where we moved from. I never had a c section before never felt pain like I did after my surgery. My son was stuck in a tight transverse position so I had a incision from hip to hip. The Dr said it was a larger cut than most c sections then I ended up with a painful infection. I had no clue the stupid pills would grab me so fast and make me so dependent. I worry maybe I do have pp depression I see my Dr the 3rd of august. I'm finding my mind every 3 mins thinking about pills. I'm energy less and ***** too as I get barely any sleep at all. I feel like im just existing going threw the motions. I keep having hot flashes then cold sweats. Never again I swear. I don't care if my arm is severed I'm never taking this crap again.

[lulu747]

You are still in early infancy stages of being clean.  I know it's hard but you gotta be patient and you have to work HARD at finding things that make you happy.  Get out of the house and into the fresh air as much as possible.  Even if it's cloudy and rainy (it is here too but I can't get out of bed, doctors orders so that's a plus for me)  Also- funny movies, a good TV series, a book.  Anything to take your mind off things and get a different perspective.
Are you involved in any aftercare?
Hang in there girl- you're doing great.  The only way out is through....
xo
Lu

[kimmi77]

I went and bought a natural supplement called mood up stress down. Took that along with Tylenol every four hours. I am having a hard time finding enjoyment in anything at the moment not to mention it's cloudy and rainy outside even more a mood downer. Ugh..how much longer before I find my smile.

[lulu747]

Can't really add much to the great advice above but this;
Vitamin B12 shots.
Our bodies become extremely deficient in B12 when we use opiates long term.  The capsule form is nowhere near as effective as getting a shot of it.  I got the B12 at the healthfood store and the syringes at the pharmacy.  It took me a lot of convincing to get my boyfriend to give me injections daily but it really really helps with energy and mood.
Also, I discovered tryptophan recently.  All natural- in large prescribed doses it is a natural seratonin booster and mood stabilizer.  It has helped me get off all my sleep meds and I feel so much more balanced even though I am going through a major medical crisis right now.
I have never reacted well to AD meds.  They either make me more depressed, or numb.  
Just a thought here- but have you been evaluated for Post Partum (sp?) depression?  The opiates will also wreak havoc with your hormones and there are many natural ways to help balance them.  As hormones are the most powerful substances our bodies produce, I would consider looking into this.
Sending support....
Lu

[Sonrissa]

Hang in there, Kimmi.  You will probably feel like crap for a couple of more days, and then slowly start feeling better.  There are some things you can do to help with the symptoms. Stay very well hydrated, drink lots of water, Gatorade, etc. Eat some bland meals, or drink protein shakes like Ensure, Boost, etc. You need to keep your strength up. Take some Imodium for stomach/bathroom issues. Vitamins/supplements like a 3 in 1 Calcium, Magnesium, and Zinc. This will help with muscle cramps and restless legs. Epsom Salt baths with also help with this, and feel wonderful.  Again, as I mentioned before, mild exercise outside in the fresh air. Even just sitting outside in the fresh air will help. Try to stay as active as you can. For me, just sitting or laying around seemed to make things worse.

Take care, and keep posting your progress. We will support you through this.

[kimmi77]

I was taking a 10 every four hours round the clock pain or no pain. I have not had anything for 2 days now. I feel like crap today.  Yes I used to take lexapro before I got pregnant so it's been about a year since I took it.