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Alcoholic Husband-When Should I Leave Him?
Hello,
My husband is an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years, married 4. He was a recovering alcoholic when we met and started drinking again shortly before our wedding. I asked him to leave once about a year ago, but I was weak and allowed him to come home after only 4 days. He gets really angry and loud when he drinks. He has gone out with our son perfectly fine only to come back and he's all drunk already. It makes me mad that he does that when he's with our son, driving! He's called me names infront of our son, infront of my family...We went out one time, he was sober; then he stopped to get Chinese Food and came out of the restaurant drunk (he drinks hard liquor). I got out of the car, left the door open so he wouldn't drive off before I could get my son, but he drove off anyway. Scary stuff has happened. He's gone to AA meetings, never keeps going. Swears he will change. When he's sober, he's the best husband and father, but because I want us to stay together, I think maybe I should ask him to leave again and not let him come live here again until he's been sober for a few months. He's gone 4 months without drinking before, but then he starts again. Recently he stopped from February until two weeks ago. Now he does it every time he's off work. He drove with our son like that two weeks ago. He apologized and gave a heartfelt speech, then later that night, he drank again and acted dumb, angry, screaming, crying... I don't know what to do.
Should I ask him to leave? I have tried talking to him. He just tells me to stop and that he's sorry, that he knows he has a problem. He doesn't really allow me to express myself. He actually has the nerve to get upset that I "nag" him about it like he says. I don't know how else to help him. I keep forgiving him, talking to him, suggesting things...
How else can I help him without asking him to leave?
My husband is an alcoholic. We've been together for 7 years, married 4. He was a recovering alcoholic when we met and started drinking again shortly before our wedding. I asked him to leave once about a year ago, but I was weak and allowed him to come home after only 4 days. He gets really angry and loud when he drinks. He has gone out with our son perfectly fine only to come back and he's all drunk already. It makes me mad that he does that when he's with our son, driving! He's called me names infront of our son, infront of my family...We went out one time, he was sober; then he stopped to get Chinese Food and came out of the restaurant drunk (he drinks hard liquor). I got out of the car, left the door open so he wouldn't drive off before I could get my son, but he drove off anyway. Scary stuff has happened. He's gone to AA meetings, never keeps going. Swears he will change. When he's sober, he's the best husband and father, but because I want us to stay together, I think maybe I should ask him to leave again and not let him come live here again until he's been sober for a few months. He's gone 4 months without drinking before, but then he starts again. Recently he stopped from February until two weeks ago. Now he does it every time he's off work. He drove with our son like that two weeks ago. He apologized and gave a heartfelt speech, then later that night, he drank again and acted dumb, angry, screaming, crying... I don't know what to do.
Should I ask him to leave? I have tried talking to him. He just tells me to stop and that he's sorry, that he knows he has a problem. He doesn't really allow me to express myself. He actually has the nerve to get upset that I "nag" him about it like he says. I don't know how else to help him. I keep forgiving him, talking to him, suggesting things...
How else can I help him without asking him to leave?
jacker is indeed correct. those of us who have this deadly disease still must be accountable for our actions. being an alcoholic in no way excuses the behavior you have described. your first priority is that baby--another child of God--and your second is to you--a child of God as well. please consider alanon to learn how to to live with disese--or not--and explore your options. having had to live in a battered women's shelter for an entire year due to abuse i, in no uncertain terms, suggest that you make a decision and make it today. devon
COMMUNITY LEADER
Amen back with thanks!jeez!grrrr!
Amen!
Enuf said.
Enuf said.
COMMUNITY LEADER
u can quote bible scripture here til the cows come home...but i do not believe God intended for any man or woman to tolerate abuse in a marriage of any form...verbal,mental,physical liquid or drugs..and to endanger the life of a child driving drunk with that child in a vehicle!
Well Beth, you're on a public forum, which really means that your putting yourself in a debate. Jesus also said that if you look at a woman with lust in your heart, you've commited adutery. Being the fallible sinner that I am, I'll have to rely on the forgiveness of Jesus for this sin, because I can't say my mind hasn't wandered.
My problem is that this is a forum for alcoholism, and those adversely effected by alcohol. The original poster is in what amounts to be an abusive situation from an alcoholic husband. There is more than one way to break the marriage covenant.
I hope they can work things out and that they don't get a divorce, but if he persists in this behavior, then sometimes there is no other option.
I'll stop posting on this subject, because I dont' want to hijack this post any more than I have already.
As for you, babypooh, hold your husband to account - if he promised to "honor and protect you" in a mariage vow, then that is a vow he should keep. It's time for him to grow up and to begin putting YOU before his own needs, because that's what marriage is all about.
My problem is that this is a forum for alcoholism, and those adversely effected by alcohol. The original poster is in what amounts to be an abusive situation from an alcoholic husband. There is more than one way to break the marriage covenant.
I hope they can work things out and that they don't get a divorce, but if he persists in this behavior, then sometimes there is no other option.
I'll stop posting on this subject, because I dont' want to hijack this post any more than I have already.
As for you, babypooh, hold your husband to account - if he promised to "honor and protect you" in a mariage vow, then that is a vow he should keep. It's time for him to grow up and to begin putting YOU before his own needs, because that's what marriage is all about.
The Bible says that it is on the basis of fornication that one could get a divorce.
“I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” Matthew chapter 19 verse 9.
The Bible is very clear on this subject. If you would like the exact definition of fornication or adultery you can look it up in a dictionary.
I am not looking to debate anyone I just want to give her some Biblical advice.
“I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” Matthew chapter 19 verse 9.
The Bible is very clear on this subject. If you would like the exact definition of fornication or adultery you can look it up in a dictionary.
I am not looking to debate anyone I just want to give her some Biblical advice.
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