Can you relate?

[augustrose2015]

I need to quit alcohol for good but it's just such a struggle. I feel so proud of myself when I don't drink. I feel the energy, I am a better Mom, I feel productive. It feels like a glimpse of what I used to be 10 years ago when I drank only very little or when I was very young not drinking at all and was able to get excited about little things in life. I get so determined and it feels easy for a couple of weeks. I feel like I can go forever without a glass of wine. Then I have one and the whole world just falls apart. I feel guilty but the wine kicks in and I'm happy, for a moment. Next day I feel terribly sick because of the repeating pattern of binges. My husband tells not to be so hard on myself that it's ok but I know it's hurting me badly at this point, physically and emotionally. Been drinking 5-8 glasses of wine daily for years. I don't think it's ok to even have that one night every other 2-3 weeks with wine. I beg for strength. I don't crave the taste but I do crave the effect sometimes. It is just not worth it. The price has become too much. It takes me up to a week to get back to somewhat normal after one evening with wine. The aftermath is horrible. I am going to try my hardest again. Can anyone relate?
Thank you for listening..

[Nighthawk61]

It's a pleasure to be your non drinking buddy honey ,  and you'll find some great folks that have the exact same thing in mind that i do, to reach out to newcomers like i was reached out to. You'll do the same in the months and years to come. I'm so glad that you are straightening out for your son. It' s not too late to save him from the harm that he's endured. It's important that we don't mince words about the harm we've caused, it's real. The reason why i think you can make it , is that I made it in my son's 13th year, just like you're doing now. And i KNOW that you can do it, and that you do have enough strength to do  it for your son.  He needs you to be the only sober parent he's got. It's not ideal that his dad is a drunk, it's a shame, really., but if you are sober, it's enough for him to be able to gravitate towards you being his primary parent. He'll trust that he can talk to you about his life, and his struggles in his own peer group. You couldn't have been able to have helped him if you were using.  You mentioned that your dad was a drunk, but you didn't say your mom was. And you got to be an alcoholic yourself. The difference here is that you're dear mother, if she was sober, was not a "recovering alcoholic". In other words, she had no idea what a kid like you coming from a home with a parent who abused substances, was going to go through in their own lives Starting at your son's age. You are far better equipped to help your son navigate through addictions if you can just hang on......

If you can just go towards the light, go towards the people that have got some long term sobriety and can keep you honest. Don't be afraid to hear what others have to say. Take it all with a grain of salt. There may be someone in the program that you don't care for the way that they talk to you. And that is absolutely okay. Walk away, and give somebody else a chance to talk to you and help you. In other words, don't let anyone take from you your role as Protector and Teacher of your dear boy. Otherwise, with all the drugs out there, I truly fear for him. I can't say where my boy would be if I hadn't of been there sober for him when he was your son's age. I can remember my life, although my father had quit drinking, there was abuse. My mother, although not herself abusive allowed it to happen. In other words, like your son having two drunks in the house, I had, and he would have NO ONE to help him navigate through what he must in these next 8 -  9 years until he's  a young adult.  My life was absolute hell coming from a home where i had to love from a parent. And love means  being real to a kid.  Being accessible and being able to put the kid first , all the time.

So while i don't envy you having your husband still drinking , i know you can get through this. Don't make his problem your problem Frankly, if you can stick him in the basement to drink, away from you and your son, that would be the best thing that could happen, so that neither of you had to sit an look at it. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, he's got to know that he's not being a good example, and if he isn't , you can tell him. Don' t be afraid to stand up for you and your boys needs, You have to have an environment that is booze free. Put him in the bedroom, and sleep in the living room if you must. Do whatever it takes, to get your life as your son's advocate, into as peaceful a place as you possibly can..

I'm here every step of the way. You know you can message me too , right? i'll check in every day.  Peace to you sister, You Got This. And if you ever feel you don't , Get to where the sober people are, simple as that. Keep it Simple. right?

Love to you, talk to you soon.
Liz

[yuricgor]

     Hi!  I'm an ex alcoholic, Yuric.  Alcohol doesn't give us anything good. Nothing at all. I understand it well now, after 7 years of being sober. I've been  happy especially for the last 4 years.  I'm a free man now. If I have managed, than anyone can. Don't doubt.

   If anybody wants to listn or talk about my story, my skype is:   yuricgor

[bignige2]

Hi

I had counselling for alcohol addiction and with no pressure, no criticism from the Counsellor etc - ll he kept reiterating is that 'You have a CHOICE whether you have a drink or not'.

Kept telling myself that everytime I wanted a drink and it worked and kept me on the straight and narrow.

[augustrose2015]

Thank you, will do and apply. Choosing not to pick up that drink. 26 days sober.

[ibizan]

Keep it going Rose!We've all been where you're at!And we're here for you!:)

[bignige2]

Good on ya!

I have not had a drink for 8 weeks now and felt blody awful - but these past couple of days I have felt really good - not as tired and not thinking as much about booze.

My next challenge is next week when I attend a family wedding anniversary where there will be a bar...hoping the way around any temptation is that I have agreed to do the driving!!