NO SEVEN YEAR OLD SHOULD BE HOME ALONE PERIOD!
check with social services if you can't afford a babysitter,
THIS CHILD HAS EVERY RIGHT TO HAVE ANXIETY IF LEFT ALONE.
u didnt read the post right did u...she is affraid from beeiing home when her father sleeps in the next room
but you also said, home alone?? talk to her ask her, what she is afraid of? but yes this is normal anxiety
How terrible for her. You didn't make it clear...when did this start? Also, there is a reason why she feels safe when your home with her and not when she's home with her father. Does her father play board games with her? Watch fun movies and eat popcorm with her? Take her out for ice cream? Or, does he just ignore her and lay on the couch? If he is not giving her enough attention, then she doesn't feel secure with him. He's like a stranger to her. I'd talk to your husband. I don't think the child has the problem.
Please talk to your child when your husband isn't home and make sure that he isn't molesting her. This could be the reason she scared to be home with him. Please, take this very seriously.
well its not my daughter actually my collegue at work told me her story and im trying to help her...as far as i know the problem started after her daughter feinted ... and coz i suffer from panic attacks i told my collegue to talk with her daughter and ask her what shes scared of ... but the girl didnt tell her... i also told my collegue that she might beeing scared of feinting again ... and that she could get her to child psychiatrist
anyways tnx guys for ur replies ur rly great
ps...after her feinting they brought the child to hospital everything came out normal
Even IF the father is home, he is SLEEPING in another room, which you stated in your original post. This situation is equivelant, in my humble opinion, to the child being left alone! A SLEEPING father is NOT there watching his child and no 7 year old should EVER be left alone unsupervised! EVER. If she choked on something, would dad hear her? If she fell, would dad know? If she decided to experiment with an electrical outlet, left the house, if some stranger came to the door, IF SHE FAINTED AGAIN. (Even though they took her to the hospital where things came back "normal," it is NOT NORMAL for a seven year old child to faint!). What you are looking at is child neglect, pure and simple. That she is calling her mother at work with symptoms of "stomach" problems should hoist a huge red flag of distress! Does this child have anxiety? You bet your BUTT she does and she has every reason in the book to have it!
Personally, I'd tell this "co-worker" that if she can't get her husband to stay awake and take care of his child, then you are going to call Social Services and report it. Your "friend" is risking the life of her child, which makes her a very lousy mother in my book! I really don't care if the "father" works nights and needs to sleep during the day.
If that IS the case, then other arrangements need to be made IMMEDIATELY for the proper care and welfare of this child! (And why isn't a 7 year old in school for the day?)Take action immediately, or some disaster may well be resting on YOUR head!
Far better to lose a friend but save the life of a child.
DO SOMETHING! NOW.
Don't you get it? Your child feels like shes home alone and if her father is sleeping I would say she kind of is home alone. Shes only 7. She may be bored and shes making up symptoms so you either come home or wake up her father whos sleeping. If he has to sleep when shes home then find someone else to take care of her until you get home. Shes too young to by herself. I sure would not like it if I was 7!
You said this 7 year old your referring to is not your daughter, but someone elses. Do this child a favor and show her mother all the comments posted here on her behalf.
I hope you all don't go off on me here, but I think the anxiety community is having a panic attack. We know nothing about this family; it's not teenlife's family, this is all secondhand information based on what may be a lot or very little information, and yet the girl's parents have been labeled neglectful, the father has been accused of molestation, and you've pretty much taken the child away from her parents. I was afraid of being home alone into my twenties, and I had great parents. Obviously something is up here, but what? How do we know the mother isn't working nights? Families often can't afford to have somebody take care of the child. Seven year olds are generally anxious about something. So teenlife, we need a whole lot more information here to know what's actually going on. The best question was, if this is daytime we're talking about, why isn't the girl in school? Is she calling from school or always from home? Is it day or nighttime? In poor rural cultures, including the US until after WW!!, seven year old girls often cleaned the house and cooked for the family while everyone else worked in the fields. So please, let's get a complete story here. And to teenlife, have you talked to your colleague about this?
Not saying everyone here is wrong, just saying hold on and relax a bit until we know what's happening. I fear we're scaring teenlife to death.
well her mom works morning shift till 6 pm and late shift till 10 pm ... coz we work 8 hours...and her daughter is at school till 3pm so in between she starts calling her mom every 20 mins aproximately ... her father works after midnight sometimes ... and he sleep s sometimes shes not alone in the house her granmommy is there as well ... and if her granny goes to shop she starts beeing affraid and calling her mom ... my simple question is if that could be anxiety and should her mom take her to child psychiatris coz the younger daughter isnt affraid beeing home while her dad sleeps in the next room.And yes it happens daytime,after shes done with school.
Paxil...........perhaps we ARE having a wee panic attack here, but I feel it's well founded. You say that families often can't afford to have someone look after their children, and while that is, without a doubt true, you still cannot condone leaving a 7 year old child essentially alone. You also site that during WWII, 7 year old girls were often left to tend to housework while everyone else was out in the fields.This is no doubt true as well, but sadly, much has happened in our society since that time which has made a once acceptable practice totally unacceptable! That it has been suggested there may be some child molestation going on is certainly NOT out of the realm of possibility and it's naive to discount that. Surely you've read the statistics on that paricularly nasty practice!
You say that 7 year olds are "generally anxious about something," and after raising two of my own children, I couldn't agree with you more. But when they feared the boogie man in the closet or the monster under the bed, they simply had to yell for my husband or I to make it go away. They did not have to call me at work or worry about waking my husband up! And if THEIR grandmommy had been there, SHE wouldn't have left them alone to go shopping!
And now we find out that "grandmommy" is there.........but when grandmommy goes out to shop, she ALSO leaves the children alone! Which is when the daughter "starts to be afraid and calls mommy!" And it gets even MORE frightening when teenlife asks us if the mother should take her daughter to a psychiartrist "COZ THE YOUNGER DAUGHTER ISN'T AFRAID BEING ALONE WHILE DADDY SLEEPS IN THE NEXT ROOM!" Is she REALLY telling us there is an even YOUNGER child in the house? What the hell is grandmommy there for if NOT to watch these children while dad sleeps!?
While we may not have the ENTIRE story, I think we have more than enough to justify our concerns about these children. (And you read, first-hand, how that story changed to include not only the presence of a "grandmommy," but ANOTHER child! I truely fear what that entire story may be!) And since these are NOT teenlifes kids, why would we be scaring HER to death? It's her co-worker who needs to be worried.
While WE may be jumping the gun here, YOUR "hold on and relax" attitude leaves way too much room for error. Perhaps as mothers, we hold different views than you.
I agree that teenlife should speak with her co-worker, but these children are, without a doubt in MY mind, being neglected and I stand firm that the authorities should be notified. This does NOT mean I want the children removed from their home or even that that would happen. Child Welfare Services could be a tremendous help finding care for these kids if the family cannot afford it.
It's been said that it takes an entire village to raise a child. But it only takes ONE village idiot to destroy a childs life.
Figured I'd get creamed. I don't necessarily disagree with you, I just think, as the story grows, we find out more. The child doesn't seem to be alone at all. You could very well be right, and it's good teenlife is concerned. I'm not going to deny one of my first thoughts was something weird is going on in that house, and I still feel that way. I just though we were getting carried away.
Love your last line about one village idiot. You should save that one!
You got "sauced," not creamed! You'll KNOW the difference when and if that happens!
I'm glad that you don't "necessarily" disagree with me, and, as you say, as the story grows, we'll find out more. That is what I'm afraid of!
It ALREADY grew substantially from the first telling and I shudder to think what we may learn in the next.
I don't understand when you write "The CHILD doesn't seem to be alone at all." I thought it had been made very clear that we are talking about "THE CHILDREN" who ARE often left alone, albiet with a father sound asleep in another room, which equates to being left alone in just about every mothers mind AND a grandmommy who goes shopping........ without them.
As to getting "carried away," that is a very distict possibility. We COULD be right about a number of things and we COULD be wrong as well. I hope and pray we are wrong about most of it. But even you said your first gut instinct was that "somehting" was not right.........so that makes what? 6 or 7 of us who think something stinks?
When it comes to children, I would far sooner err on the side of caution. And I am VERY glad teenlife was concerned enough to contact someone about this. I think that was very wise and very brave on her part. I only hope, with our support, she will take the next step.
That village idiot thing WAS good, wasn't it? I think I will keep it..............
I was going to say I was sorry if I came on a tad too strong, but when you get between a bear and her cubs................
From what I read in flicking through this post it has gone from a child who is home alone. To a child who has a father asleep in another room. To a child who has a grandmother in the house too. It keeps changing. I won't add any extra advice to an already mixed up story. I'm sure her grandfather might appear in the next up-date.
Me? I'm waiting for The Cat in the Hat to appear!
Sauced? Never heard that one! It's good, though. I'm a writer, and love a good turn of phrase. No, I don't care if you come on strong. I came on strong, too. You have your instincts, I have mine. Yeah, something's up, but there's a lot of family around now. As Mr. Green said, first there was no one, then a sleeping father, then a grandmother, and then, as I suspected, the mother works nights so of course the father will be asleep sometimes, at least. When I was seven my mom just sent me out to play to get me out of her hair. We're in an overprotective world now. Still, don't blame you for being concerned, I just don't like casting terms like molestation and neglect around casually. I just wish we could get the mother on here instead of a second-hand story from a "colleague." And I agree with you, I hope it doesn't get worse. I'm not against your concern, I admire it, I just believe in getting the story before reacting. If you've read my posts, you'll see I'm the same way when people come on here for the first time and so many people immediately tell them to get on medication. I say, no, try other things first, medication can be dangerous. Just a cautious guy who likes to get the facts first.
Wouldn't dream of getting between you and your cubs -- and don't you get between me and my dog!
MY opinion here...all "details" aside is that some sort of intervention needs to happen...and a mother should ("should" I know...but not always the case, unfortunately)know her kids enough to know what KIND of intervention that is. Even IF this turned out to be a totally innocent and benign situation where the child is just "anxious" and nothing more serious is going on...something still needs to happen. This child is calling out for either attention or help, or both.
Like someone above said.....it is unusual (rare in fact) for a child to faint for no reason. THAT part of the story has me especially intrigued.....and even wondering if perhaps it was a behavioral "stunt" to get some serious attention...or as a last ditch effort for the child to "make something happen"...to get her Mom with her. Really interesting.
Any which way...something is up. It could be as simple as Mom working too much, her missing Mom and her crying out for love and attention..to something much more malicious...which we all know, sadly could be a possibility, and it needs to be ruled out.
If I were the Mom, the very FIRST thing I would do is demand that "grandmommy" pull her head out of her tooookas and take the kids WITH her to the store. How friggin hard is that?? For whatever reason...they KNOW this child becomes fearful when she doesn't feel safe and secure (very normal for any child, especially one that young)...so plain and simple...she SHOULDN'T be left alone...in ANY capacity. And, after that is fixed, the Mom needs to get someone involved immediately (child psychologist would be a great start) to dig deeper into this "fear", along with the fainting episode....and find out what the heck is going on. WHATEVER it may be...it needs dealt with, and like...yesterday.
(Hugs to lydia, just cuz!) :0)
From all the comments here, it looks like we don't have all the facts to say if its anxiety or she just really misses her mother or there is something strange going on. Sounds something like no one seems to want to be with this little girl including her grandmommy. I have a 8 year old girl and would not leave her with anyone sleeping and not paying attention to her. Not a good situation to me!