Do I have any STDs or HIV? - Waiting for the results

[loterouk]

Hi everyone, I think being open in this forum can help me to reduce my anxiety.

I'm in a relationship of over 5 years and I had an affair 3 months ago, I used condom to protect myself. Emotionally, I felt really bad after that and I think I'm starting to pay the price for that bad act. This is my story:

I have started to develop some symptoms related with STD: Four weeks ago, I started with a burning sensation when I pee, plus I've got high fever and fatigue at the same time. In the fourth day after the appearance of those symptoms, I decided to go to the Walk-In center because I was feeling really bad. The doctor told me that could be UTI(This doctor did not do any test) so she gave me Trimethoprim. I started to took it immediately and next day I was feeling much better (no fever, no fatigue). However, the burning sensation was still there. I kept taking Trimethoprim for seven days and I felt that the burning sensation was disappearing but not 100%, the worst time is the first pee of the day - it burns so much.

So I decided to go the GP with another doctor, I explained the situation and he said that a UTI is quite unusual in young men (I'm 30, by the way) so he is considering that is a STD, even though that she asked me about other sexual partners, I was not brave enough to tell her that I had an affair. So she said that wants to discard if is an UTI and she asked me to do a urinate test and blood test -  I'm still waiting for those results.

The doctor recommended me not to take more antibiotics until we know the cause of the problem. Without the antibiotic, the burning sensation started to get worst again and this time the head of penis was becoming red. My anxiety got to another level. I kept reading articles about STDs in internet and all my symptoms are related with a couple of diseases: Chlamydia(and others) because the burning sensation and HIV because the early symptoms of fever and fatigue. I was getting crazy. I started to doubt that I did not using the condom properly in that occasion.

So I decided to go to a STI clinic today, 3 days later after the visit to the GP - I'm still waiting these results. The staff of the STI clinic were very nice and they did me the swab test, blood test (for HIV) and urine test. I've got the results of the swab test in less than 10 minutes and it was good, they didn't see anything wrong. I'll have to wait for the rest of the results until next Week.

I am absolutely terrified - waiting for the GP and the STI clinic results. This wait is going to kill me. On top of that, I do not know what to say to my partner. I'm feeling very guilty thinking about having transmitted an infection to her. This is one of the worst chapter of my life.

Please let me know your thoughts. It would be very much appreciated.

Thank you for your kindness in even reading this.

[AnxiousNoMore]

You summarized the problem here. " I used condom to protect myself. Emotionally, I felt really bad after that"

Here is the same thing you wrote, but rewritten in my words.

You have no STD because the condom protected you. The clinic has not found any STD. You have an emotional response because you feel bad about your actions, but disease is not spread by emotions so you are safe from disease.


Try to relax, because there are many other kinds of diseases that a person really can catch that you don't worry about because there is almost no chance that will happen and besides you will have no life if you spend it worrying about things that likely will never happen - so there is no purpose worrying about getting a disease that the condom protected you from. It is not easy for you to accept this, but if you do then you will go back to your normal happy life.

[loterouk]

Thanks for your advice. It really helps.