Aa
Need encouragement PLEASE. (nursegirl?)
Hey guys. I'm back in the anxiety house once again. =(
It's been about 4 months since I've had anxiety. I've been anxiety free for 4 months!
I was completely fine last Tuesday all day. I was even laughing with my wife and kids having a fine time.
I got bored and decided to go to the gym.
On my way to the gym I had this sensation of feeling not right, like my vision was too clear or something. Sounds weird I know. But I ignored it and made it to the gym and worked out.
On my way home that feeling came over me again. I just contributed it to lack of good sleep. But when I got home, I started feeling it on and off. I finally just crawled into bed. And soon I just started shaking with fear. Full blown anxiety had set in. My stomach was in a knot, I felt the feeling of dread all over my body... just awful. I tried to just breath and calm down, but this went on for about 30+ minutes.
For those who know me on here, I do not like to turn to prescription drugs. I have been ativan (lorazepam) free for over 2 years. I had a horrible withdrawal from that drug and choose to never touch it again.
A few months ago I went through a rough time coming off of Remeron (only using it for 3 months).
My Dr. gave me a small script of xanax a few months ago when I was going through that rough time, but only took it VERY few times. It's a benzo just like ativan and I DO NOT want to go down that road again.
So here I am having this awful panic attack. I finally broke down and took a xanax to try and stop it. 0.25mg very small. But I then felt guilty for taking it. I havent touched a xanax in months.
I finally fell asleep, but sleep was choppy. I woke up at 3am, but fell back asleep.
The next day (Wednesday) I woke up and was still having awful nonstop anxiety. I went to my Dr. and he assured me it's all just anxiety. He suggested I take a couple xanax. I told him I do not want to and I will try and beat this spell on it's own like I have done in the past.
Wednesday night I felt calmer, and got at least 5 hours of sleep that night.
Thursday I was still anxious and pacing around, couldn't relax. So I decided to see a psychologist who helped me tremendously the last time I was going through this. I saw him that late afternoon, and I felt a lot better, but not 100%.
I asked him if "he thought that I would make it out of this anxiety spell". He said OF COURSE. You made it through last time and it was a bad one. He said I need lots of reassurance. And that that is okay.
Deep down I know NOTHING is forever in my anxiety episodes, no matter HOW bad it gets. I've been through the worst and it ALL ENDS eventually. However, I ALWAYS feel STUCK when I go through it.
But he assured me "THIS TOO SHALL PASS".
Yesterday was a pretty good day considering! I felt about 85% back to me! But still a little uncomfortable at times.
I was able to work a little bit on the computer (video editing) and focus more. Even got hungry a few times (my appetite is always shot when going through this)
But then last night when I crawled into bed, I started reading about anxiety and stuff again. I didn't mean to read it to scare myself. I meant to read more to know what I'm going through is just anxiety and that it will pass.
However, I think it just made me be more aware again, and I started to tremble a little bit again with fear.
I was NOT tired at all, I did NOT fall asleep til about 1:30 or 2am. I felt like I laid there til about 3am, but I remember dreaming.
My dreams have been weird/vivid and not fun. I woke up soon, and it was 4am. I knew I was in for a night with ZERO sleep. I didnt feel THAT bad, but I did. Sleep deprivation is not fun.
I got up and went to the living room last night and tried to just breath and relax. I then went back to bed, and FINALLY managed to fall back asleep around 5am or so.
It still felt like I laid there til it was time to get up for work. But I remember shutting my alarm off a couple of times this morning b/c I was finally sleeping some, yet still having nightmare type dreams.
I'm at work, and I just feel awful... I know my body is tired, but my body is telling it otherwise to be UP and anxious and pacy!
I KNOW this WILL eventually pass. But when???
That seems to be my pattern, I can go MONTHS without anxiety, but then I can get struck again... but I know EVERY TIME I DO come out of it... I DO!! There has NEVER been a time where I stay in a crazy state like this forever.
My symptoms are:
Anxiety
Feeling of Fear
Dread feeling in my skin? Like this bad crawling energy type stuff. Weird to describe.
Mind won't shut up! Even when I close my eyes at night to go to bed.
No appetite (but eating)
Nervous stomach sometimes
Muscle Twitching (due to stress/sleep deprivation)
I think what happens is that I fear the feeling of this fear... and I dwell on these sensations... then if I can't sleep at ALL, like last night, then I dwell on it... which pumps more fear... then I fear that I will have to resort to drugs... which then resorts to fear of becoming possibly addicted again like ativan years ago.
See this cycle? lol.
So my question to you, especially Nursegirl, because YOU KNOW ME. Do you think I'll snap out of this one too?
I mean I have been sleeping great the past 4 months! Appetite has been great, and no anxiety. So why now? :(
I just need as much reassurance as possible. Thanks so much. :) Sorry SO long.
It's been about 4 months since I've had anxiety. I've been anxiety free for 4 months!
I was completely fine last Tuesday all day. I was even laughing with my wife and kids having a fine time.
I got bored and decided to go to the gym.
On my way to the gym I had this sensation of feeling not right, like my vision was too clear or something. Sounds weird I know. But I ignored it and made it to the gym and worked out.
On my way home that feeling came over me again. I just contributed it to lack of good sleep. But when I got home, I started feeling it on and off. I finally just crawled into bed. And soon I just started shaking with fear. Full blown anxiety had set in. My stomach was in a knot, I felt the feeling of dread all over my body... just awful. I tried to just breath and calm down, but this went on for about 30+ minutes.
For those who know me on here, I do not like to turn to prescription drugs. I have been ativan (lorazepam) free for over 2 years. I had a horrible withdrawal from that drug and choose to never touch it again.
A few months ago I went through a rough time coming off of Remeron (only using it for 3 months).
My Dr. gave me a small script of xanax a few months ago when I was going through that rough time, but only took it VERY few times. It's a benzo just like ativan and I DO NOT want to go down that road again.
So here I am having this awful panic attack. I finally broke down and took a xanax to try and stop it. 0.25mg very small. But I then felt guilty for taking it. I havent touched a xanax in months.
I finally fell asleep, but sleep was choppy. I woke up at 3am, but fell back asleep.
The next day (Wednesday) I woke up and was still having awful nonstop anxiety. I went to my Dr. and he assured me it's all just anxiety. He suggested I take a couple xanax. I told him I do not want to and I will try and beat this spell on it's own like I have done in the past.
Wednesday night I felt calmer, and got at least 5 hours of sleep that night.
Thursday I was still anxious and pacing around, couldn't relax. So I decided to see a psychologist who helped me tremendously the last time I was going through this. I saw him that late afternoon, and I felt a lot better, but not 100%.
I asked him if "he thought that I would make it out of this anxiety spell". He said OF COURSE. You made it through last time and it was a bad one. He said I need lots of reassurance. And that that is okay.
Deep down I know NOTHING is forever in my anxiety episodes, no matter HOW bad it gets. I've been through the worst and it ALL ENDS eventually. However, I ALWAYS feel STUCK when I go through it.
But he assured me "THIS TOO SHALL PASS".
Yesterday was a pretty good day considering! I felt about 85% back to me! But still a little uncomfortable at times.
I was able to work a little bit on the computer (video editing) and focus more. Even got hungry a few times (my appetite is always shot when going through this)
But then last night when I crawled into bed, I started reading about anxiety and stuff again. I didn't mean to read it to scare myself. I meant to read more to know what I'm going through is just anxiety and that it will pass.
However, I think it just made me be more aware again, and I started to tremble a little bit again with fear.
I was NOT tired at all, I did NOT fall asleep til about 1:30 or 2am. I felt like I laid there til about 3am, but I remember dreaming.
My dreams have been weird/vivid and not fun. I woke up soon, and it was 4am. I knew I was in for a night with ZERO sleep. I didnt feel THAT bad, but I did. Sleep deprivation is not fun.
I got up and went to the living room last night and tried to just breath and relax. I then went back to bed, and FINALLY managed to fall back asleep around 5am or so.
It still felt like I laid there til it was time to get up for work. But I remember shutting my alarm off a couple of times this morning b/c I was finally sleeping some, yet still having nightmare type dreams.
I'm at work, and I just feel awful... I know my body is tired, but my body is telling it otherwise to be UP and anxious and pacy!
I KNOW this WILL eventually pass. But when???
That seems to be my pattern, I can go MONTHS without anxiety, but then I can get struck again... but I know EVERY TIME I DO come out of it... I DO!! There has NEVER been a time where I stay in a crazy state like this forever.
My symptoms are:
Anxiety
Feeling of Fear
Dread feeling in my skin? Like this bad crawling energy type stuff. Weird to describe.
Mind won't shut up! Even when I close my eyes at night to go to bed.
No appetite (but eating)
Nervous stomach sometimes
Muscle Twitching (due to stress/sleep deprivation)
I think what happens is that I fear the feeling of this fear... and I dwell on these sensations... then if I can't sleep at ALL, like last night, then I dwell on it... which pumps more fear... then I fear that I will have to resort to drugs... which then resorts to fear of becoming possibly addicted again like ativan years ago.
See this cycle? lol.
So my question to you, especially Nursegirl, because YOU KNOW ME. Do you think I'll snap out of this one too?
I mean I have been sleeping great the past 4 months! Appetite has been great, and no anxiety. So why now? :(
I just need as much reassurance as possible. Thanks so much. :) Sorry SO long.
Thanks again for writing. It's 4:33pm and I'm actually feeling the most calm I've felt all day. Heart rate has slowed down, and I feel more relaxed.
I'm just learning to accept and float. :)
This too shall pass! :)
I'm just learning to accept and float. :)
This too shall pass! :)
She sounds pretty awesome - everyone needs a cheerleader like that in their life! Mine right now is my BIL. He is bi-polar, and works so hard at managing and does so so well. It's so great to have someone in your corner that can keep you focused on where you're going, not where you're at.
One symptom that frustrates me is my skin becomes hyper-sensitive at times. The sensation of my hair against the back of my neck, the touch of a shirt against my shoulders/neck, that type of thing. I'm usually pretty cold-natured, but I get very sensitive to temperature - I can go from too hot to too cold in the blink of an eye.
One thing my psychologist told me that was so simple but so profound for me: "It's just anxiety. It's not going to kill you." He by no means was minimizing what anxiety was doing to me. But it was just such an incredible reminder to me that I grab on to when the anxiety gets bad. Yes, it *****. Yes, it's awful. But it's not going to kill me. I just gotta hang in there....
We're all in the trench together, my friend. Hang in there!
One symptom that frustrates me is my skin becomes hyper-sensitive at times. The sensation of my hair against the back of my neck, the touch of a shirt against my shoulders/neck, that type of thing. I'm usually pretty cold-natured, but I get very sensitive to temperature - I can go from too hot to too cold in the blink of an eye.
One thing my psychologist told me that was so simple but so profound for me: "It's just anxiety. It's not going to kill you." He by no means was minimizing what anxiety was doing to me. But it was just such an incredible reminder to me that I grab on to when the anxiety gets bad. Yes, it *****. Yes, it's awful. But it's not going to kill me. I just gotta hang in there....
We're all in the trench together, my friend. Hang in there!
Thanks!
Update. Yesterday was such a better day! I slept the night before almost all through the night with the help of 2 unisom.
But yesterday evening, after feeling good, I started to feel bad again, racing heart, about 90 bpm resting. But I managed.
I then went to bed, and started shaking again in bed, HATE the shakes. But I just kept breathing and just kept trying to distract myself by reading.
I finally fell alseep but sleep was choppy, and had nightmares... I probably only slept 4-5 hours?
One of the symptoms I have that I hate, is this feeling, when I'm in bed, and I am still, my body all over feels like it's stimulated... like a VERY VERY VERY light buzzing feeling all over... anyone else get that?
The only way to get it to stop for a bit is to move around, or roll over in bed. But only to resurface again.
I'm so exhausted today, but still anxious. Nervous stomach, no appetite (but making myself eat) foot tapping while sitting... probably not breathing right. I'm breathing probably really shallow.
I'm doing this all med free. Which is tough. But I know it will pass. It HAS to. This is the bodies way of naturally reacting. Even though there is nothing wrong, it senses there is.
With time this shall pass. Like I said I can go months without anxiety then BAM.
My wife is my Rock in this when it comes to my anxiety "spells". I have been feeling like this with little relief for 7 days now. I have gotten all the reassurance I can get from my Dr. and my psychologist that it's just anxiety and it will pass... but it's tough.
I'm just managing right now.
I bought a digital copy of Hope and Help for your Nerves by Claire Weekes.
There is some good stuff in there thus far.
It reassured me that this will pass! You see a part of me keeps thinking I may not be able to get through this without meds for a short run, but that's not the case. Meds just help ease the symptoms a bit.
A GREAT message in the book said this
"Be prepared to accept and live with it for the time being. Accept it as something that will be with you for some time yet, in fact while you recover -- but something that will eventually leave you if you are prepared to let time pass and not anxiously watch the churning during its passing.
But do not make the mistake of thinking that it will go as soon as you cease to fear it. Your nerves are STILL sensitized and will take time to heal, just as a broken leg takes time. However, as you improve and are no longer afraid of the churning, and do not try to cure it by controlling it, and are prepared to accept it and work with it present, you will gradually come out of it."
That made me feel better. I've had this for 7 days, and it's not really easing YET, but at times it does.
It just reassures me that I just have to ROLL with it. RIDE THE WAVE, if you will til it passes.
Don't you think that's true? That this will pass eventually and I CAN do it without medication? My goal is to do it without meds, ive been down that road before, and while they helped some for a period of time, withdrawal was awful and i got dependent on ativan. Dont' want to relive that.
I think going through this without meds will make me stronger and learn better. As long as I can accept it for what it is, JUST ANXIETY. Even though it can be crippling. I know that it can not kill me, I know it can not harm me. I may lose a little weight, but I am still ABLE to eat. It's just not desirable.
I CAN AND WILL MAKE IT. Like I said, my wife is my ROCK. When I ask her "do you think I'll make it out of this?" she replies with this...
"of course you will! this will eventually pass. When have you NOT gotten better in the past? Just look back 10 days ago... we were having a wonderful meal at our favorite restaurant, you ate like a pig lol. and was enjoying life. That WILL come back. You've been through episodes like this MANY MANY MANY times in the past 7 years, and although uncomfy, you will get through it."
Isn't she awesome? :)
Update. Yesterday was such a better day! I slept the night before almost all through the night with the help of 2 unisom.
But yesterday evening, after feeling good, I started to feel bad again, racing heart, about 90 bpm resting. But I managed.
I then went to bed, and started shaking again in bed, HATE the shakes. But I just kept breathing and just kept trying to distract myself by reading.
I finally fell alseep but sleep was choppy, and had nightmares... I probably only slept 4-5 hours?
One of the symptoms I have that I hate, is this feeling, when I'm in bed, and I am still, my body all over feels like it's stimulated... like a VERY VERY VERY light buzzing feeling all over... anyone else get that?
The only way to get it to stop for a bit is to move around, or roll over in bed. But only to resurface again.
I'm so exhausted today, but still anxious. Nervous stomach, no appetite (but making myself eat) foot tapping while sitting... probably not breathing right. I'm breathing probably really shallow.
I'm doing this all med free. Which is tough. But I know it will pass. It HAS to. This is the bodies way of naturally reacting. Even though there is nothing wrong, it senses there is.
With time this shall pass. Like I said I can go months without anxiety then BAM.
My wife is my Rock in this when it comes to my anxiety "spells". I have been feeling like this with little relief for 7 days now. I have gotten all the reassurance I can get from my Dr. and my psychologist that it's just anxiety and it will pass... but it's tough.
I'm just managing right now.
I bought a digital copy of Hope and Help for your Nerves by Claire Weekes.
There is some good stuff in there thus far.
It reassured me that this will pass! You see a part of me keeps thinking I may not be able to get through this without meds for a short run, but that's not the case. Meds just help ease the symptoms a bit.
A GREAT message in the book said this
"Be prepared to accept and live with it for the time being. Accept it as something that will be with you for some time yet, in fact while you recover -- but something that will eventually leave you if you are prepared to let time pass and not anxiously watch the churning during its passing.
But do not make the mistake of thinking that it will go as soon as you cease to fear it. Your nerves are STILL sensitized and will take time to heal, just as a broken leg takes time. However, as you improve and are no longer afraid of the churning, and do not try to cure it by controlling it, and are prepared to accept it and work with it present, you will gradually come out of it."
That made me feel better. I've had this for 7 days, and it's not really easing YET, but at times it does.
It just reassures me that I just have to ROLL with it. RIDE THE WAVE, if you will til it passes.
Don't you think that's true? That this will pass eventually and I CAN do it without medication? My goal is to do it without meds, ive been down that road before, and while they helped some for a period of time, withdrawal was awful and i got dependent on ativan. Dont' want to relive that.
I think going through this without meds will make me stronger and learn better. As long as I can accept it for what it is, JUST ANXIETY. Even though it can be crippling. I know that it can not kill me, I know it can not harm me. I may lose a little weight, but I am still ABLE to eat. It's just not desirable.
I CAN AND WILL MAKE IT. Like I said, my wife is my ROCK. When I ask her "do you think I'll make it out of this?" she replies with this...
"of course you will! this will eventually pass. When have you NOT gotten better in the past? Just look back 10 days ago... we were having a wonderful meal at our favorite restaurant, you ate like a pig lol. and was enjoying life. That WILL come back. You've been through episodes like this MANY MANY MANY times in the past 7 years, and although uncomfy, you will get through it."
Isn't she awesome? :)
I know I'm a little late chiming in, but I feel your pain. I was doing really well for a while and then bam! Anxiety again. I go right down the same rabbit hole of "why is it happening? What did I do/not do that is causing this?" And it can be hard to distract myself. I know what's right in my head, but sometimes I need a little more convincing/reassuring.
It's awesome you've got a good psychologist! And as you know, nursegirl is so very awesome. Hope things keep improving for you!
It's awesome you've got a good psychologist! And as you know, nursegirl is so very awesome. Hope things keep improving for you!
Here's the link to the resource page:
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Mental%20Health/Anxiety-and-Panic-Resources--Books--Websites--Self-Help-Programs/show/1285?cid=60
http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Mental%20Health/Anxiety-and-Panic-Resources--Books--Websites--Self-Help-Programs/show/1285?cid=60
"When I ruminate and constantly TALK about my anxiety to OTHERS, I'm staying FOCUSED on my anxiety. When I go to medhelp, I'm staying FOCUSED on my anxiety. lol. Even though I love medhelp.
He said when I'm asking for reassurance, he said I don't have OCD, but he did say that when I KEEP asking for it, it's like an ADDICTION. I'm addicted to asking that question. lol. DUH!"
^^^ Absolutely positively! If you read through those links I posted, they explain that "seeking reassurance" cycle very well. Also, OCD IS an anxiety disorder, so a lot of the processes and getting "stuck" on the what if thinking is the same. So, essentially, you can treat the thought processes the same and see results.
Have you ever picked up any self help books? If not, I recommend you do so, and put aside a certain (minimal) amount of time every day to read the book, and address the anxiety. While of course doing too much thinking about anxiety is counterproductive, putting energy and effort toward WORKING on coping and learning is a positive thing.
The one book I would recommend that EVERYONE with anxiety get is "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne. He actually has penned many similar books (ie "The OCD Workbook"), and they are top sellers and recommended by professionals frequently. What's nice about that book is it's designed almost like a textbook, it's interactive, and has many different exercises in it...kind of like "anxiety homework". I cannot stress enough how helpful that book is. Mine is old and raggedy, dog eared, and highlighted, and I still refer to it when I need to, and it still helps me to this day.
I will also post for you the link to our list of resources...browse through it, and maybe pick out one other book besides the one above. I think you'll be amazed at how helpful they can be. They increase awareness and knowledge, which always makes the idea of something scary MUCH less frightening.
Keep up the good work!
He said when I'm asking for reassurance, he said I don't have OCD, but he did say that when I KEEP asking for it, it's like an ADDICTION. I'm addicted to asking that question. lol. DUH!"
^^^ Absolutely positively! If you read through those links I posted, they explain that "seeking reassurance" cycle very well. Also, OCD IS an anxiety disorder, so a lot of the processes and getting "stuck" on the what if thinking is the same. So, essentially, you can treat the thought processes the same and see results.
Have you ever picked up any self help books? If not, I recommend you do so, and put aside a certain (minimal) amount of time every day to read the book, and address the anxiety. While of course doing too much thinking about anxiety is counterproductive, putting energy and effort toward WORKING on coping and learning is a positive thing.
The one book I would recommend that EVERYONE with anxiety get is "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne. He actually has penned many similar books (ie "The OCD Workbook"), and they are top sellers and recommended by professionals frequently. What's nice about that book is it's designed almost like a textbook, it's interactive, and has many different exercises in it...kind of like "anxiety homework". I cannot stress enough how helpful that book is. Mine is old and raggedy, dog eared, and highlighted, and I still refer to it when I need to, and it still helps me to this day.
I will also post for you the link to our list of resources...browse through it, and maybe pick out one other book besides the one above. I think you'll be amazed at how helpful they can be. They increase awareness and knowledge, which always makes the idea of something scary MUCH less frightening.
Keep up the good work!
My therapy session went good last night. I was so anxious though.
He just kept saying "where my focus goes, my energy flows"...
I told him I understand that. But "how do I get out of this?? I get out of it every time, but don't know how... I guess it just happens"
He said it will just happen, but he said the reason why I always get out of it but can never remember how... is because I probably got DISTRACTED. Or just decided to let it all go.
So to ME, The saying "Where my focus goes, my energy flows" means that when I'm checking my pulse, I'm staying FOCUSED ON ANXIETY. He said the goal too is to stop adrenaline.
When I ruminate and constantly TALK about my anxiety to OTHERS, I'm staying FOCUSED on my anxiety. When I go to medhelp, I'm staying FOCUSED on my anxiety. lol. Even though I love medhelp.
He said when I'm asking for reassurance, he said I don't have OCD, but he did say that when I KEEP asking for it, it's like an ADDICTION. I'm addicted to asking that question. lol. DUH!
Last night I was feeling pretty rough still, my main symptom was nervous stomach, bad energy, and this weird feeling of goosebumps all over my body. Like a light feeling of getting "raised hairs" all over my body in certain spots. But I just let it go. I then took some Unisom (over the counter sleep med) b/c I have not slept good in a few days.
I slept like a BABY last night. ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT. WHAT A DIFFERENCE THAT MAKES. LOL.
And all my anxiety symptoms were non present!
I'm at work today, and feeling much better. Today is going to be a good day. :)
I'm just going to keep distracting myself. Thanks for all your help and REASSURANCE. :)
You ROCK.
He just kept saying "where my focus goes, my energy flows"...
I told him I understand that. But "how do I get out of this?? I get out of it every time, but don't know how... I guess it just happens"
He said it will just happen, but he said the reason why I always get out of it but can never remember how... is because I probably got DISTRACTED. Or just decided to let it all go.
So to ME, The saying "Where my focus goes, my energy flows" means that when I'm checking my pulse, I'm staying FOCUSED ON ANXIETY. He said the goal too is to stop adrenaline.
When I ruminate and constantly TALK about my anxiety to OTHERS, I'm staying FOCUSED on my anxiety. When I go to medhelp, I'm staying FOCUSED on my anxiety. lol. Even though I love medhelp.
He said when I'm asking for reassurance, he said I don't have OCD, but he did say that when I KEEP asking for it, it's like an ADDICTION. I'm addicted to asking that question. lol. DUH!
Last night I was feeling pretty rough still, my main symptom was nervous stomach, bad energy, and this weird feeling of goosebumps all over my body. Like a light feeling of getting "raised hairs" all over my body in certain spots. But I just let it go. I then took some Unisom (over the counter sleep med) b/c I have not slept good in a few days.
I slept like a BABY last night. ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT. WHAT A DIFFERENCE THAT MAKES. LOL.
And all my anxiety symptoms were non present!
I'm at work today, and feeling much better. Today is going to be a good day. :)
I'm just going to keep distracting myself. Thanks for all your help and REASSURANCE. :)
You ROCK.
I think sticking with therapy is a good move!
Let us know how the session goes tonight. Enjoy the gymnastics too! That's always SO neat to watch the kiddos do those kinds of things. I cannot believe your daughter is 6 already!!! My goodness, where did the time go??? Your wife was pregnant when you first came here, right? Wow!
Let us know how the session goes tonight. Enjoy the gymnastics too! That's always SO neat to watch the kiddos do those kinds of things. I cannot believe your daughter is 6 already!!! My goodness, where did the time go??? Your wife was pregnant when you first came here, right? Wow!
You are amazing!! Thank you for the educated and rational response. This makes me feel awesome.
I know I will come out of this.
And you are RIGHT! It's my reaction to it every time! I just keep feeding it with the "OH NO! AHHH! ANXIETY AGAIN!!! AHH!!"
I think I will keep doing therapy once a month consistently even when this passes. It's just so dang expensive. lol. But maybe worth the money once I learn to cope better so I won't have these every 4 months. Maybe I'll have one every 9 months or just once a year. That wouldnt be SO bad. lol.
I think I've came a long ways. But in some ways, I still react the same to it. You'd think I'd be a pro by now? lol. But you are right, it's how we feed off those sensations and shaking legs... and all the other terrible symptoms that come with anxiety.
I'm printing this off and taking it to my session tonight.
The fam is doing fantastic! My daughter who is 6 is starting gymnastics tonight and I can't wait to go see her! :) (even though I'll be anxious inside. lol.)
I'll keep you posted on progress. It's been since Tuesday night/Wednesday since this has started and not really ended. GRRRR. So 5 or 6 days now.
It will have to let up at some point. :)
Thanks again!
I know I will come out of this.
And you are RIGHT! It's my reaction to it every time! I just keep feeding it with the "OH NO! AHHH! ANXIETY AGAIN!!! AHH!!"
I think I will keep doing therapy once a month consistently even when this passes. It's just so dang expensive. lol. But maybe worth the money once I learn to cope better so I won't have these every 4 months. Maybe I'll have one every 9 months or just once a year. That wouldnt be SO bad. lol.
I think I've came a long ways. But in some ways, I still react the same to it. You'd think I'd be a pro by now? lol. But you are right, it's how we feed off those sensations and shaking legs... and all the other terrible symptoms that come with anxiety.
I'm printing this off and taking it to my session tonight.
The fam is doing fantastic! My daughter who is 6 is starting gymnastics tonight and I can't wait to go see her! :) (even though I'll be anxious inside. lol.)
I'll keep you posted on progress. It's been since Tuesday night/Wednesday since this has started and not really ended. GRRRR. So 5 or 6 days now.
It will have to let up at some point. :)
Thanks again!
Hello there my friend!
Have you ever heard the saying that the BEST predictor of future behavior is past behavior? That being the case, of COURSE you will come through this just fine like you always do.
You know all of my theories with you, c. I think you get stuck in your head, you obsess, and you go over the top seeking answers and looking for reassurance. That's anxiety for you, so in that sense, this is VERY par for the course.
I've also told you that the other thing that I think affects you significantly is that every time your anxiety resurfaces again (as it likely will forever, anxiety will rear its ugly head at times, and at other times, you'll go long periods with none...that's totally the nature of an anxiety disorder), your reaction is severe. It IS very hard not to have that reaction over and over, but it's that reaction that's making the anxiety ten times worse. It's not easy, but finding a level of acceptance is a huge help in diminishing that reaction. Kind of just "going with it", you know? Saying to yourself, "oh man, here we go again, my anxiety is increasing again, time to get the bag of tricks (ie coping techniques) out"...rather than the self talk you do now, which is more like, "OMG! My anxiety is back when it's been GONE for months!!! WHY is it back? Is it because I didn't sleep well last night? Is it something I ate? Will I stay like this forever??!!" See how the second reaction would only fuel your anxiety more?
I think you STILL, after all of these years have a LOT of trouble accepting that you're likely going to have to contend with anxiety in one way or another for the long haul. It's that resistance that causes you to fight it more, which only causes MORE anxiety.
You DO know what works for you. The only thing I would recommend doing a little differently is instead of jumping head first into therapy, or meds, or other treatment modalities when anxiety strikes until it's better....stick with it a little longer. The longer you work on your coping skills and learning to understand the anxiety process, the better equipped you'll be, rather than just going in all gung ho ONLY when the anxiety is bad. Does that make sense? I go to therapy twice a month and have for almost 2 years straight now, and I'd say that my anxiety has been pretty well managed a good bit of the time. Now, twice a month is a bit much for a maintenance phase, but I feel you're definitely not getting all you could out of therapy. Going to a therapist a handful of times isn't really going to accomplish much, other than you getting the "in the moment" reassurance. The reassurance is important, but there are other benefits you could be getting out of therapy for sure. Also, you have to be very careful about getting stuck in the cycle of obsessively seeking reassurance. That's a common trait seen in OCD, and that constant NEED for reassurance, and seeking it out basically becomes a compulsion, and getting stuck in the cycle (anxiety------>seeking reassurance------->getting reassurance------->temporary improvement of anxiety symptoms------>reemergence of anxiety------->increased need for MORE reassurance) will actually exacerbate your anxiety related symptoms.
Here's some good reading about the compulsion to seek reassurance:
http://www.ocdla.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-597
http://www.anxietyzap.com/33-habit.htm
http://londoncognitive.com/2011/03/10/the-vicious-cycle-of-anxiety/
You're going to be just fine. You know we're here for you...keep posting and let us know how it's going, okay? How's the wife and kids?
Have you ever heard the saying that the BEST predictor of future behavior is past behavior? That being the case, of COURSE you will come through this just fine like you always do.
You know all of my theories with you, c. I think you get stuck in your head, you obsess, and you go over the top seeking answers and looking for reassurance. That's anxiety for you, so in that sense, this is VERY par for the course.
I've also told you that the other thing that I think affects you significantly is that every time your anxiety resurfaces again (as it likely will forever, anxiety will rear its ugly head at times, and at other times, you'll go long periods with none...that's totally the nature of an anxiety disorder), your reaction is severe. It IS very hard not to have that reaction over and over, but it's that reaction that's making the anxiety ten times worse. It's not easy, but finding a level of acceptance is a huge help in diminishing that reaction. Kind of just "going with it", you know? Saying to yourself, "oh man, here we go again, my anxiety is increasing again, time to get the bag of tricks (ie coping techniques) out"...rather than the self talk you do now, which is more like, "OMG! My anxiety is back when it's been GONE for months!!! WHY is it back? Is it because I didn't sleep well last night? Is it something I ate? Will I stay like this forever??!!" See how the second reaction would only fuel your anxiety more?
I think you STILL, after all of these years have a LOT of trouble accepting that you're likely going to have to contend with anxiety in one way or another for the long haul. It's that resistance that causes you to fight it more, which only causes MORE anxiety.
You DO know what works for you. The only thing I would recommend doing a little differently is instead of jumping head first into therapy, or meds, or other treatment modalities when anxiety strikes until it's better....stick with it a little longer. The longer you work on your coping skills and learning to understand the anxiety process, the better equipped you'll be, rather than just going in all gung ho ONLY when the anxiety is bad. Does that make sense? I go to therapy twice a month and have for almost 2 years straight now, and I'd say that my anxiety has been pretty well managed a good bit of the time. Now, twice a month is a bit much for a maintenance phase, but I feel you're definitely not getting all you could out of therapy. Going to a therapist a handful of times isn't really going to accomplish much, other than you getting the "in the moment" reassurance. The reassurance is important, but there are other benefits you could be getting out of therapy for sure. Also, you have to be very careful about getting stuck in the cycle of obsessively seeking reassurance. That's a common trait seen in OCD, and that constant NEED for reassurance, and seeking it out basically becomes a compulsion, and getting stuck in the cycle (anxiety------>seeking reassurance------->getting reassurance------->temporary improvement of anxiety symptoms------>reemergence of anxiety------->increased need for MORE reassurance) will actually exacerbate your anxiety related symptoms.
Here's some good reading about the compulsion to seek reassurance:
http://www.ocdla.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-597
http://www.anxietyzap.com/33-habit.htm
http://londoncognitive.com/2011/03/10/the-vicious-cycle-of-anxiety/
You're going to be just fine. You know we're here for you...keep posting and let us know how it's going, okay? How's the wife and kids?
I just made another appointment with my psychologist for tonight. He's so awesome he can just get me in.
Stinks how today I'm not doing very good. I think last night's sleep made it worse. Only like 2 hours of sleep.
Again I asked him if I was going to make it through this, even without meds and he said "Of Course You Are."
That helped me again so much. :) Just those words.
I think another reason why I'm stuck in this too is b/c I keep researching anxiety etc. and even though I think it can help me... it only keeps me DWELLING MORE on the fact that I'm suffering from anxiety.
I just need to keep moving on. I've been through this before, I've been through worse, even though this is pretty bad anxiety...
but the bottom line is... I've ALWAYS came out of it. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS.
Stinks how today I'm not doing very good. I think last night's sleep made it worse. Only like 2 hours of sleep.
Again I asked him if I was going to make it through this, even without meds and he said "Of Course You Are."
That helped me again so much. :) Just those words.
I think another reason why I'm stuck in this too is b/c I keep researching anxiety etc. and even though I think it can help me... it only keeps me DWELLING MORE on the fact that I'm suffering from anxiety.
I just need to keep moving on. I've been through this before, I've been through worse, even though this is pretty bad anxiety...
but the bottom line is... I've ALWAYS came out of it. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS.
Thank you SO much for the response. You DO sound like me as well. Weird how it works huh?
I think the reason we stay in it is b/c we dwell on it maybe?
I try not to, but the anxiety can be so intense sometimes.
I find it disappointing that the past couple of days have been better, but then last night it intensified a bit. And today I'm anxious more too.
Maybe I could look at it as a "get's worse before it get's better" type thing.
Just trying to stay positive.
I asked my wife 2 times today over the phone if she thinks I'll snap out of this. She get's tired of me asking. But she always answers back with "Yes. Of course! You always do! And there isnt anything in particular you do to get rid of it, it just slowly leaves."
I asked my mom today too over the phone on my lunch break if she thinks this will pass soon. She get's a little frustrated with me... but I can understand.
My psychologist assured me too. It's just like we can't have enough reassurance.
If Nursegirl can assure me, then that will top the cake. :)
I think the reason we stay in it is b/c we dwell on it maybe?
I try not to, but the anxiety can be so intense sometimes.
I find it disappointing that the past couple of days have been better, but then last night it intensified a bit. And today I'm anxious more too.
Maybe I could look at it as a "get's worse before it get's better" type thing.
Just trying to stay positive.
I asked my wife 2 times today over the phone if she thinks I'll snap out of this. She get's tired of me asking. But she always answers back with "Yes. Of course! You always do! And there isnt anything in particular you do to get rid of it, it just slowly leaves."
I asked my mom today too over the phone on my lunch break if she thinks this will pass soon. She get's a little frustrated with me... but I can understand.
My psychologist assured me too. It's just like we can't have enough reassurance.
If Nursegirl can assure me, then that will top the cake. :)
Hey there. Man that sounds just like me reading this. I will go months without anxiety then BAM hits me. I'm a like a damn roller coaster up and down. You will snap out of it because you always do and your doctor told you that you would too. I know how you feel though. I always think will I be like this for the next week? Month? Year?? How long?! I or I should say we always snap out of it. Don't worry I know you will. And deep down you know that you will too. Anxiety always causes me to look for reassurance I used to ask family 100 times a day. "Hey this hurts do you think I'm ok?" What I found that helped me to get back on track was to do what I was doing before the anxiety hit and try to live my life as normal as possible. I'm sure nurse girl will be able to help you more but just thought I'd throw in my 2 cents
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