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Anxiety "Is this permanent or is it a light at the end of the tunnel"?
I am a 37 year old male who has spent 17 years in the United States Air force and has never had a problem with anxiety until december of 08. I have always been claustrophic for as long as I can remember but have dealt with it in my own little way. I have read many articles on how a traumatic experience can cause one to have anxiety but that isnt the case with me. I would like to think that the stressors that I deal with on a day to day basis are normal, so I dont know where this came from. Here is my story ==> I have always been a person who would rather dive somewhere than to get on a plane, not just because of my claustrophobia (because I have flown before) its just that I love to get out and see things, but in December of 08 it all changed. I was driving back to Colorado Springs from Tampa Florida and was almost home when it all started. I was on Interstate 70 West in Kansas heading to Colorado (which I have driven on 100 times before) and if you have been on it, you know that its absolutely nothing out there and for some reason my mind started wondering, what would happen if I broke down out here in the middle of nowhere and couldnt get help, and thats when it happened......"BOOM", I started shaking, my heart started to race, my breathing got faster, my legs felt like jello and I honestly thought that I was going to die. By the grace of god I made it back to Colorado Springs and went to the doctor to find out what happened to me. I explained everything to the doc and was told that i had an anxiety attack, so of course i went home and got on the internet to find out what this meant and have read everything under the sun about it but have not gotten any closer to beating this thing. I made an appoitment to see a mental health specialist on the Airforce base and was told that "I can beat this thing" and to not give up. She told me that since i havent had this my whole life and it has just been happening for the past couple of months, the sooner I face it, the better chance I have of getting past it. I have been prescribed Zoloft, and Xanax and havent taken any of it because I am wanting to beat this thing without depending on medication to get me through it. It has gotten so bad, that my attacks come if i am drving on a dark road with minimal lighting, when its foggy out, or out on the open roads. I was told that I might have a form of Agoraphobia and if i do, I feel that my case is not as bad as some of the individuals that i have read about. My doctor told me that the best thing to do is to not avoid the places that make me feel uncomfortable, but to get out on the highways and dark roads and face my fears, which I plan on doing very soon. I'm glad I found this anxiety forum which lets me know that i'm not alone, and if there is anyone one out there who can relate to my situation and has some input on how to beat this, please respond. I'm trying not to let this take over my life or my marriage, but its a struggle everyday. I'm going to get back out on that dark road, and eventually get on the highway and see how i react, so please pray for me. I was told by my doctor that once i get back home to my family and some of the stress that i have in my life is gone, that the anxiety should be gone too.
A few friends of mine and myself went to Denver this weekend and I handled it better than I thought I would. I think that the anticipation of having an anxiety attack is what I need to get past and I think that I will be ok. There were a few places where my mind tried to take me back to that bad place (agoraphobic land) but I just wouldnt let it. I looked out of the window and the blue sky, warm sun, and other people on the highway and just told myself that everything is okay, there is air out here for me to breath, and its a beautiful day. I was proud of myself for doing it and will probably try again this weekend...
This Morning (about 10 minutes ago) I kinda let it beat me. Its was very foggy when I looked outside this morning and knowing that I have to drive in it to get to work made me start to shake, heart started racing, and legs got weak. I just put on my uniform and headed out the door to try and face the fog. I got into my car started driving and was doing ok for a minute until my mind got the best of me. I made it alot further than I did the last time it was foggy out, but I still didnt make it, and it makes me upset that I couldnt. I was concentrating on my breathing, trying to put my mind on other things, and then "BOOM" it hit me that I couldnt see anything in front of me or anything behind me, and I turned around and came home. The anticipation of having an attack while I was in the car alone was a major contributor of it all.... I'm on my way back out in it and hope that I can make it this time....
After reading a few post and talking to a few people, I dont know if I could label what I have "Agoraphobia" or "Anxiety" without offending individuals who's cases are much worse than mine ( and thats not what i'm trying to do ). I know for a fact that getting out on Highways bother me and if the thought of it triggers a little anxiety within. Driving on dark roads also bother me, and I have avoided them at all cost. I see on here that some people cant go outside, to the grocery store, be in large crowds, etc but I dont have that problem, so would it be right to call what I have Anxiety too? I'm still in the process of trying to get on the highway and shouldve done it this weekend but I didnt want to get out there alone. I hope to make a trip to Denver this coming up weekend with a friend of mind and hopefully one day be able to do it alone. I am going to tackle the dark road again, and keep tackling it until I can do it alone, which would make me very happy. The Dr did prescribe me xanax, but I havent taken it yet. I do keep it in my pocket just in case i have an anxiety attack and cant work through it on my own. Since I know that this thing was maybe triggered by stress, depression, etc, I'm not in any rush to take a pill to help me with it. I will keep everyone posted on how I do when I get on the highway or a dark road. God Bless
Xanax is a bad drug to get started on. My doctor told me it was slightly addictive, I took only a small amount for a few months and went through hell when I quit. A good one to stay away from.
Panic Away by Joe Barry is an excellent course. I bought it earlier this month and found ways to deal with anxiety in a matter of days.
Panic Away by Joe Barry is an excellent course. I bought it earlier this month and found ways to deal with anxiety in a matter of days.
I love this thread! I'm happy to see you are helping yourself and all without jumping on the drug wagon. You're doing great and at the rate you're going, you are going to feel better in no time. It's okay if you need a little xanax in an emergency, but it sounds like you are trying to avoid that.
Good Job all the way around!
Good Job all the way around!
Thanks for you kind words, they do mean alot. I feel that I still have quite a ways to go, but I do feel better about my situation after reading your words and they words of others who talk about people whos situations are much worse than my own. The thought of getting up in the morning and having to drive to work bothers me a little bit and causes mild anxiety attacks, but I know that I have to do it, so letting it win is not an option as far as that is concerned. One day I woke up and had plans on going to Wal-Mart, but when I looked outside and saw that it was foggy outside I ended up staying inside. I wanted to get out and go to the store, but since it was something that I really didnt have to do, I just ended up laying around the house until the sun came out and the fog cleared, so I am still not fully out of the woods yet. I do think that i am getting better and like you said, its not something that goes away over night so I have to be proud of myself for the little strides that I do make. A friend of mine and myself plan on facing the Highway portion of my fears this weekend, and I will check back in to let you know how i did.
I feel like I took a major step in the right direction by getting back on that road and facing it. I still have anxious episodes throughout the day when I think of highways, dark roads, etc but I take it all in, process it and deal with it at that time and it goes away. I'm getting medically retired from the USAF after 17 years and moving back to Tampa Fl, which should be a good thing, but the thought of me having to drive back, gets in the way of all the happy thoughts. The Highway that I drove on to get here was I-70 which I have to take on my way back. Well, there is another way to go, but a part of me wants to get back out on 70 and deal with it and another part of me doesnt. My wife said, that if its just the highway driving, then any old highway should do. I have until 1 July to get to the point to where I can bare being out there. What I plan on doing is 1. continuing to go out at night and drive around to get that part under control as best i can and 2. Do some highway driving with a friend and see how i handle it. Pray for me, as I do for everyone in the world, and i will keep you guys posted on my progress..
OH! I forgot to mention that A&E has this series coming on tonight called "OBSESSED' which follows people who have different forms of anxiety... check it out and let me know what you guys think... I myself will be watching in hopes that it will enlighten me even more on things to do, and maybe I can help others, like you guys have been helping me...
You've already beaten it! Nice work. I think you need to take a step back and acknowledge that... The road is just the trigger, the enemy is the panic attack itself, so if you went out on the road and came all the way back and didn't experience a panic attack the whole time, then you won... You beat the panic attack before it even got to you. That's what this whole thing is all about.
All you need to do now, is go again and again and realise how you are in control because you won once so you can just do that every single time now. You may never have a panic attack ever again in you life now, but practising this now is a good idea in case you ever need to use this skill in the future.
Panic attacks may seem like some elusive weird thing but they are really quite straightforward. It's just our animal instincts kicking in when they shouldn't. It's a slight feeling of panic and if you let it get to you, it triggers a rush of adrenaline, and then that puts your body on red alert and it makes the panic even worse and it progresses in a vicious circle.
The problem is that fear fuels the panic and so if you are fearful of a panic attack... then you are fuelling your own panic. So if you can just accept that this is nothing strange, it's just a kind of a pointless fear, then you kind of dismiss the whole idea of it and that stops the panic attack from even happening in the first place. It's not so much trying to stop the fear because that could be stressful, it's more about rejecting the idea of the fear because you know it's not a REAL fear. It's one thing to get scared if you get chased by a lunatic with a chainsaw or something, but fear when there isn't even any danger... that is fear of an empty fear. So rejecting the idea of that empty pointless fear stops the fear in it's tracks. You won.
So yeah, I think you should just do it again and again and get more confident with the whole process. To be honest, I think many people here have it a lot harder because they have the same issue as you but their trigger is something a bit harder to pin down. For you the trigger was something very specific and easy to identify, so I think that should make it easier to beat. Not that this is any less of a horrible thing for you of course, but really, facing your worst fears and trying to beat it, is what beating anxiety is all about. I've been such a wuss about it that I've been putting it off for AGES. By the sounds of it, you got the fear, identified it, and then went out and beat it all in the space of a few months. That's pretty incredible, you should be really proud of yourself in my opinion.
All you need to do now, is go again and again and realise how you are in control because you won once so you can just do that every single time now. You may never have a panic attack ever again in you life now, but practising this now is a good idea in case you ever need to use this skill in the future.
Panic attacks may seem like some elusive weird thing but they are really quite straightforward. It's just our animal instincts kicking in when they shouldn't. It's a slight feeling of panic and if you let it get to you, it triggers a rush of adrenaline, and then that puts your body on red alert and it makes the panic even worse and it progresses in a vicious circle.
The problem is that fear fuels the panic and so if you are fearful of a panic attack... then you are fuelling your own panic. So if you can just accept that this is nothing strange, it's just a kind of a pointless fear, then you kind of dismiss the whole idea of it and that stops the panic attack from even happening in the first place. It's not so much trying to stop the fear because that could be stressful, it's more about rejecting the idea of the fear because you know it's not a REAL fear. It's one thing to get scared if you get chased by a lunatic with a chainsaw or something, but fear when there isn't even any danger... that is fear of an empty fear. So rejecting the idea of that empty pointless fear stops the fear in it's tracks. You won.
So yeah, I think you should just do it again and again and get more confident with the whole process. To be honest, I think many people here have it a lot harder because they have the same issue as you but their trigger is something a bit harder to pin down. For you the trigger was something very specific and easy to identify, so I think that should make it easier to beat. Not that this is any less of a horrible thing for you of course, but really, facing your worst fears and trying to beat it, is what beating anxiety is all about. I've been such a wuss about it that I've been putting it off for AGES. By the sounds of it, you got the fear, identified it, and then went out and beat it all in the space of a few months. That's pretty incredible, you should be really proud of yourself in my opinion.
I have been told to take baby steps, so I did last night. I had a very bad panic attack on this dark road in Colorado Springs, so last night I went back out on that road but had a friend in the car with me. Actually before we even got into the car, I was feeling a little nervous but I didnt turn back. The only two differences is that it wasnt the exact time I had driven in it before and there were alot more cars out there, but I actually put myself back in the situtation. I sitll felt a little anxious, I could feel my heart starting to race a bit and my legs got a little weak, but I pressed on and made it (with the help of a friend). I know that I have a ways to go to beat this thing, but I was proud of myself to actually get back out there and face it. I am holding on to the Xanax just in case I need it but hopefully I can get through this road block by just putting the pedal to the metal, holding on with both hands and busting right thru. The mental health nurse has given me some tools to use, like breathing techniques, getting your mind on something else, the old paper bag, etc but when I am in those situations, its easier said than done to slow my breathing down. I never realized how powerful the mind was until I had my first anxiety attack and actually didnt feel people pain when they would tell me about their episodes. Its crazy, because i know that it cant kill me (even though it feels like it), I know that its more than enought air around me ( but it still seems that i cant get enough) and I still buy into the game. I purchased a book called "Panic Away' which i am still in the process of reading, but its not really helping me at all. I also have heard about a book "The Anxiety Cure" which I am going to go check out and hopefully it helps me get closer to the finish line of beating this. A part of me has came to the realization that we can read 50 books until we are blue in the face, but it all starts with us. We have to face this thing called ANXIETY in our own ways and never give up. This forum is a piece to the puzzle of me dealing with it, me actually getting out there and facing it over and over again is another piece, practicing the techniques is another and so on and so forth. when the "Fight or Flight" mechanism kicks in, I dont want "Flight' to even be an option. Thanks to everyone who comments back to me with their words of advice and wisdom, keep them coming.
I am in the AF as well but found the mental health services on base woefully inadequate. I hope yours is better. Good luck!
I agree with the person above called Paxiled! I personally would suggest you skip the drugs and you just have to face your fears. That's what this is ALL about it. When you force yourself to face them, then deal with them, then you have beaten it.
But, you really need to learn the tools to beat it. I think going out to face your fears and then not really knowing what to do when you get your fear, is only going to be horrible. You need a book or need someone to teach you all the 'tools' and then you can go out and face your fear and use all the right techniques.
Personally I'm in a similar situation to you but further down the road. I have a few other mental problems too which really don't help... but it's similar anyway. I have had depression and other problems for many years now but I also have these panic attacks and it's only recently that I found out what they were and learned how to beat them. The problem is... I still haven't faced them and I have to. It's so scary because you literally have to put yourself in your worst situations and then you have to face it and I keep putting it off, but the consequence of putting it off is that it has gotten worse for me. I know that the moment I face it, is the moment I start to beat it, and having a panic attack tonight has given me that drive to finally face this son of a....
I'll check back on this forum in a few weeks and I hope to have pretty much overcome this, I am THAT determined now. I hope you can manage to make progress too. I would give it some time to learn the skills and practice them a bit, but once you know the skills, get out there and face it and don't keep putting it off like I did.
But, you really need to learn the tools to beat it. I think going out to face your fears and then not really knowing what to do when you get your fear, is only going to be horrible. You need a book or need someone to teach you all the 'tools' and then you can go out and face your fear and use all the right techniques.
Personally I'm in a similar situation to you but further down the road. I have a few other mental problems too which really don't help... but it's similar anyway. I have had depression and other problems for many years now but I also have these panic attacks and it's only recently that I found out what they were and learned how to beat them. The problem is... I still haven't faced them and I have to. It's so scary because you literally have to put yourself in your worst situations and then you have to face it and I keep putting it off, but the consequence of putting it off is that it has gotten worse for me. I know that the moment I face it, is the moment I start to beat it, and having a panic attack tonight has given me that drive to finally face this son of a....
I'll check back on this forum in a few weeks and I hope to have pretty much overcome this, I am THAT determined now. I hope you can manage to make progress too. I would give it some time to learn the skills and practice them a bit, but once you know the skills, get out there and face it and don't keep putting it off like I did.
more then likely she can help, I am finishing CBT and it has really helpped. but like I say to all , WORK WORK WORK< , really all CBT does is retrain your mind. it really works for those who want to change, good luck and keep posting.
I'm going to have to check with the military installation that I'm serving on to find out if thats possible. I'm seeing a doctor right now as in the mental health section of the hospital and i dont know if she is a certified CBT specialist or not. I honeslty feel that I am dealing with the day to day anxiety attacks a lot better, and only need to address the highway, and dark road episodes that i've had. I use to sit in my apt at night, think about how dark it was outside, start feeling trapped and start having an anxiety episode (though small) it would still make me feel like I was not in control. I just started telling myself that it was all in my head, there is air out here, I can breathe, and to calm down. Now I dont have them anymore... So I guess you can say that i'm taking baby steps but the big test is yet to come.
I would just say you might find it better to find a certified CBT therapist if you're going to do what's called "exposure" therapy, which is to face the thing. They'll give you some tools beforehand that will teach you about how your mind is working and some relaxation techniques to help you prepare and give you guidance about how to do it. Try this before drugs, they can be difficult. If you need them, okay, but if you can do it without them it's best. Try it first with therapy. And all of us didn't have it until we did. I'd driven all over the US and been to Europe twice before I got it, and if you don't successfully treat it it does get worse. So get to work now when it's fresh and use your strength with preparation.
Thanks for your response and am really thinking about taking the xanax that was prescribed to me. I'm first going to try and put myself back into those situations that triggerd my attacks and see if its at all possible for me to address them that way, and hopefully over the next couple of weeks i will get to the point to where i can deal with them head on without fear of going to those places. I hope to have this thing licked because i want to take my wife on a cruise this summer. With my determination, the good lord above, my family and this forum, I think that I can win... Thanks again
My case was similar in the fact that I have had no previous signs of depression or anxiety in my 34 years. I woke up the day after Christmas and just didn't feel right. I wanted to sleep thinking I would wake up and it would all be gone. I was still functioning but started to lose weight. I wasn't scared to go out anywhere, but I much preferred to be at home since it is my comfort zone.
I went to the Doctor just to see if I had something wrong. He checked everything and I was healthy as a horse....told me it could be a little anxiety or depression but thought he'd give me a couple weeks to see if I pulled out on my own. A couple of nights later my mind started wildly racing and I believe I had my first panic attack. I think the panic attack derived from me not being able to 'control' or put away the anxious feelings I was having.
I immediately went back to the doctor who prescribed me celexa and xanax....I was so scared to take anything because I didn't want to be one of those people taking anti-depressants'.
To make a long story short, the celexa pulled me through and I have been taking it for about 4 months. It allowed me to function at close to full capacity and gave me the ability to slow my mind down and rationally think about my life and the stresses I have put on myself over the years. I don't intend on being on medication the rest of my life but will not feel bad if I have too.
My recommendation to you would be to take the prescriptions you were prescribed if your anxiety is taking away from your life. If you can pull out on your own....it would be GREAT, but don't feel badly for getting help.
Good luck...God Bless!
I went to the Doctor just to see if I had something wrong. He checked everything and I was healthy as a horse....told me it could be a little anxiety or depression but thought he'd give me a couple weeks to see if I pulled out on my own. A couple of nights later my mind started wildly racing and I believe I had my first panic attack. I think the panic attack derived from me not being able to 'control' or put away the anxious feelings I was having.
I immediately went back to the doctor who prescribed me celexa and xanax....I was so scared to take anything because I didn't want to be one of those people taking anti-depressants'.
To make a long story short, the celexa pulled me through and I have been taking it for about 4 months. It allowed me to function at close to full capacity and gave me the ability to slow my mind down and rationally think about my life and the stresses I have put on myself over the years. I don't intend on being on medication the rest of my life but will not feel bad if I have too.
My recommendation to you would be to take the prescriptions you were prescribed if your anxiety is taking away from your life. If you can pull out on your own....it would be GREAT, but don't feel badly for getting help.
Good luck...God Bless!
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