Hi I am in desperate need of advice and would kindly appreciate anything to help, If someone can take the time to hear me out it would be appreciated from the bottom of my heart.
A little background about myself, I am 19 years of age, male, happy childhood, shy in highschool, got into smoking weed at age of 16, been in realtionships, have had my ups and downs in school, graduated and currently in my first year of college.
In April of 2014 after returning from a family trip from down south I was eager to get high with my buddy, after a quick smoke in his car I returned home fine and went to bed, suddenly I began to expeirece to what I came to learn was a panic attack, my heart started pounding, sweating, overal feeling of this is the end etc. the following day I was still shooken up and terrified of the fact that I didnt feel like myself, that I was disconnected. This experience made me quit pot cold turkey and I have been since that night, fast foward to months ahead, I have visited my doc and phys prior to that night and have been somewhat diagnosed with Anxiety and was put on Cipralex 20mg. For months on end I felt so deppresed and anxious always question myself 'is this is what my life is going to be like forever', am I going to be happy again?, am I going crazy?? (I read up on the whole schizo/marijuana usage as a teen and to this day i am still anxious about this). I would just like to know is this normal? am i in risk of my biggest hear of loosing control :( looking for someone who can relate. My mother has suffered from depression in the past aswell have members of her side of the family but no phycosis. Over the last year I have gotten better but still live with the everyday "what if?" thoughts, I search the internet for illnesses and compare them to myself, most recent has been schizotypical personality disorder and it got me worked up enough to make this post. I have been quite anxious since college started I tend to keep to myself and get nervous while around big crowds unless im drunk, realizing how socially weird I have become makes me worried that im loosing my mind, I dont want to end up crazy, I love my family dearly and would hate to loose the overall sense of love and meaning, so I ask whoevers out there please put my mind at ease lie to me and tell me Im going to get better and grow into a loving sane person, im just so stressed out :(