Aa
Seever anxiety....please help me.. if you can..
Hi my name is Kay. Im 20 years old and Ive been suffering from severe anxiety for about 5 years now. Its so bad that I havent been able to leave the house in 3 months. I havent seen our town mall in 2 years. I had to cancel going to college and cant get a job to help out my family. I cant hang out with friends, visit family members..go out shopping, eat at restaurants..I am not able to do anything I want to, even go for walks with my dog or car rides with my family. Even having friends over is really hard...which is why Ive lost most of my friends. I feel fine all day and the minute someone mentions leaving the house I feel sick and feel as though I have to run to the washroom to throw up. Then I feel sick the rest of the day. I start to get dizzy and hot and my head starts to sweat. All my roots get soaked and I feel like Im going to faint. The main symptom though is that im going to vomit and that doesnt go away. Ive been on Effexor for 3 years and it has not helped. Im on prevacid, domperidome,buscopan and was recently just put on paxil...also a few other pills that I cant recal the name. Im 20 years old and I take 8 pills a day....I do not want to live like this forever...plus I dont want to live my life being forced to stay in my house forever either. There would be no point to living. I just want to be normal. This all started in grade 10 for no reason and with no warning...I just felt sick and I thought it was the flu..but it stayed everyday causing me to miss alot of school in highschool...having to quit a few months before graduating..but having a doctors not to get my diploma...I missed my graduation..my prom..which I counted the days down since grade 9 for id say...I havent been able to ever party with friends...go shopping with friends..go out to bars..I cant leave my house...I get soo depressed about this that I start having a hard time seeing why I should live this life. Ive tried other kinds of treatment....ginger pills...esodynamics...nothing has helped me..I just want to give up. Im at a point where I dont even know what to do anymore. My family is getting annoyed and is starting to think im making this up. My doctor just keeps uping my dosage and adding in more pills...I dont want to be on pills my whole life...especially if they arent even working...can anyone please help me...I havent even had the chance to really live my life yet...or do anything normal ppl do at 20 years old....or any year actually....what can I do to help this stop. I cant take it anymore... I want to leave the house so bad and everytime I try and I get sick...it makes it even harder to try the next time. I havent seen the outside in 3 months and I want to just quit....please help me.. thank you for reading this..
"roo?" Aussie, maybe? There are a lot of you Sheila's here!
OK, here's the deal. The unanimous reaction that you are being fed too many pills is probably correct. And, unless you tell me otherwise, the one thing distinctly MISSING from your treatment is any talk therapy. I am unhappy with your family's notion that you are making it all up; I'd expected a little more support from that quarter.
And yet, in a sense, they are right. You are, indeed, making it all up. So is every panic victim. That is to say, the source of the anxiety, sick feelings, sweats, fainting and all the rest is not outside your body, but rather, inside your head. That does not make it any less real. The sweat is real, the urge to vomit is real -it is ALL REAL. If it were outside you, if it were a virus, some scary exposure to danger, sudden, excruciating exertion, you could point to the problem, identify and do something about it. But is is not. It is inside you and you can find no reason for it.
Yet, there is a reason, or reasons. This is your first toe hold. You may say to yourself, "There is a reason, and I'm going to find it." Specifics we do NOT know -yet. But what we DO know that your brain is sending up signal flares, demanding attention. There is a part of you that knows there is a prpoblem, and another part that does not let it surface to be dealt with, and the tension between these 2 has you caught in the cross-fire.
Practically all aspects of panic can be resolved to include an over-powering sense of uncertainty, that pervasive doubt that runs through everything. And so, one of the first things you can do is find something of which you are certain. And, you have done so, because you have come here to this community of fellow travelers who know exactly what you are talking about and experience it for themselves. Start your list of certainties, things that are for sure:
1. There is a reason for this.
2. I am in touch with people who really know what I'm talking about.
3. I am a meber of a community of people who care for me.
4. ???
Start adding to the list. Start now, and look at it daily and add more items. Establish your foundation, your baseline, your camp, your headquarters, the territory that you control. And count me and everyone on this forum as your team mates.
Now, fire the doc who's pushing pills and get with someone who knows medication and who knows therapy -a helper, a guide who will help you find the hidden material that is stimulating youir panic, and help you learn to deal with, possibly even eliminate it. This is difficult because you are housebound. True, many friends have parted ways from you, but who has NOT? Who is still available to you? Maybe you make contact as a "pen pal," contact your local health department or the "hotline" for people in mental distress, or a minister or whatever. Pretend you have been hired by someone else who is housebound to locate help -how would you advise them? What would you do?
Make it a rule that for now you will stay in touch with the forum on a daily basis. Read through the various threads, see what people have had to say, get a grip on the personalities here -after all, we're your new family, sister! It is important to find something, some place, some group, where you become a contributor and are respected for the experiences you've had and the courage to change. There are no stupid questions -ask EVERYTHING. Get connected and involved, so your horizons are expanded and your oriemation of being prisoner in your own home begins to change. You may wonder how you will ever find your way out of this mess. I don't know, and nobody knows, but what we DO know is that to any extent -any at all- that your are involved with people beyond yourself, you have already started to find your way out.
You may note how contact here has already given you some hope, comfort and optimism. EXACTLY.
You've already begun the process. WE are with you. Make it your business to be in touch frequently.
I'll be waiting.
OK, here's the deal. The unanimous reaction that you are being fed too many pills is probably correct. And, unless you tell me otherwise, the one thing distinctly MISSING from your treatment is any talk therapy. I am unhappy with your family's notion that you are making it all up; I'd expected a little more support from that quarter.
And yet, in a sense, they are right. You are, indeed, making it all up. So is every panic victim. That is to say, the source of the anxiety, sick feelings, sweats, fainting and all the rest is not outside your body, but rather, inside your head. That does not make it any less real. The sweat is real, the urge to vomit is real -it is ALL REAL. If it were outside you, if it were a virus, some scary exposure to danger, sudden, excruciating exertion, you could point to the problem, identify and do something about it. But is is not. It is inside you and you can find no reason for it.
Yet, there is a reason, or reasons. This is your first toe hold. You may say to yourself, "There is a reason, and I'm going to find it." Specifics we do NOT know -yet. But what we DO know that your brain is sending up signal flares, demanding attention. There is a part of you that knows there is a prpoblem, and another part that does not let it surface to be dealt with, and the tension between these 2 has you caught in the cross-fire.
Practically all aspects of panic can be resolved to include an over-powering sense of uncertainty, that pervasive doubt that runs through everything. And so, one of the first things you can do is find something of which you are certain. And, you have done so, because you have come here to this community of fellow travelers who know exactly what you are talking about and experience it for themselves. Start your list of certainties, things that are for sure:
1. There is a reason for this.
2. I am in touch with people who really know what I'm talking about.
3. I am a meber of a community of people who care for me.
4. ???
Start adding to the list. Start now, and look at it daily and add more items. Establish your foundation, your baseline, your camp, your headquarters, the territory that you control. And count me and everyone on this forum as your team mates.
Now, fire the doc who's pushing pills and get with someone who knows medication and who knows therapy -a helper, a guide who will help you find the hidden material that is stimulating youir panic, and help you learn to deal with, possibly even eliminate it. This is difficult because you are housebound. True, many friends have parted ways from you, but who has NOT? Who is still available to you? Maybe you make contact as a "pen pal," contact your local health department or the "hotline" for people in mental distress, or a minister or whatever. Pretend you have been hired by someone else who is housebound to locate help -how would you advise them? What would you do?
Make it a rule that for now you will stay in touch with the forum on a daily basis. Read through the various threads, see what people have had to say, get a grip on the personalities here -after all, we're your new family, sister! It is important to find something, some place, some group, where you become a contributor and are respected for the experiences you've had and the courage to change. There are no stupid questions -ask EVERYTHING. Get connected and involved, so your horizons are expanded and your oriemation of being prisoner in your own home begins to change. You may wonder how you will ever find your way out of this mess. I don't know, and nobody knows, but what we DO know is that to any extent -any at all- that your are involved with people beyond yourself, you have already started to find your way out.
You may note how contact here has already given you some hope, comfort and optimism. EXACTLY.
You've already begun the process. WE are with you. Make it your business to be in touch frequently.
I'll be waiting.
You sound like me but x10. It seems to me that you have agoraphobia which is basically the fear of going back to any place or situation where you had some form of anxiety. I have that and the only thing that helps me to get through it is ativan and pushing myself to face those same situations. There is a name for this type of therapy but I can't remember what they call it. Anyway, I am in a panic group right now and that also has been invaluable in starting my healing....I hope you look into the agoraphobia and maybe find another psych doctor and get a second opinion because it seems like you're on a lot of drugs with no help. Look into Klonopin...I hear it's great for anxiety and I am going to do the same. Best of luck and God Bless!!!!
Rori
Rori
Omg are you me or what. Same exact fear i would hate going places with my friends infact i still have that fear i can't go anywhere with my friends because im scared of getting sick right when i get there and have to leave. My husband was starting to get annoyed cause he didn't know what my problem was, but now that he knows he supports me and when we go out he tells me i can leave whenever i want and doesn't get mad. That really sucks about your family you need a strong support system to get through this. Trust me it helps me alot. And i know it gets harder everytime you get out you just need to push your self prove to your self that you are a strong person. You need to get out at least for five to ten minutes a day. i find that if i skip a day it gets harder to get out the next time i try. It is hard but you can do it. I just hope that someday i can go to the movies or hang out outside the house with my friends again. Like i said im so scared they will get mad if i go someplace and have to leave right away if i get sick. Again i know exactly what you are going through.
Just want to share that i just got back from an awsome date with my husband. Bad movie but i got but of the house tonight. I had a slight panic attack in the theatre,but instead of leaving i forced my self to stay and with in 15 min the attack went away and i was completly calm it was awesome. Now to conquer the whole going out with friends issue.
A break through experience! You went through the discomfort of the panic -and it went away. You now know that, YES, it can be done. And you will be able to do it again and again. What a great feeling! And you did it in a movie theatre which for many people is way too confining. Congratulations!
Hi, Kay! I've read your story. I have no advice to give... all of us here actually have anxiety in common, which already is a lot, and all anxiety forms have fear in common, but I've never had panic attacks. But I want to say that you have all my support, that my heart goes to you, and that I'm glad you made a move and opened up here, it's obvious you needed to talk about it and it looks like you haven't had anyone pay attention to you in that regard. I hope things get better for you because you deserve to enjoy all that life has to offer to you. Please keep posting and letting us know. *hugs*
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