anxiety has took over my life

[littlegirllost533]

hi, i am  28year old mum of 2 young children. I have suffered with social anxiety for about 7 years. Just over a year ago i woke with a head tremor that is constantly there, which is now diagnosed as dystonia. I have taught myself little ways of coping with the head tremor (constantly fidgeting-twideling with hair or necklace, focusing on kids to distance myself from group situations etc). But the last few weeks my anxiety has become totally unbearable. whenever anyone comes to my house or we(don't go anywhere social without my partner) go to anyones house i just loose all control and anxiety takes over. It has got to the point we'l get to the house and i can't even get out of the car so we go back home. Im so worried my loved ones are going to start wondering why im so uncomfortable around them or completely avoid them and i really want to be around them but just can't. It starts with the strange metal taste in the mouth, then boom...feel so,so sick and my whole body shakes inside+out,fuzzy head,feel faint+dizzy. I shake that much my legs won't carry me some times. When i face people whilst in this complete panic, they look at me horrified but we just try to chat like nothing is going on. My words either can't come out or i start stuttering and get all muddled up, eye contact has become a complete no-go. I'm hardly leaving the house now, i'l do school run+have a drink with family on Fridays (been drunk is the only time im ok).  The worst part is that i can't fully appreiciate this part of my life where the kids are young as its just overshadowed by anxiety. I missed my daughters special assembly the other day because of anxiety attacks, which as a mummy who is devoted to her kids+with them 24/7 was so heartbreaking to let my child down. I need to get some sort of control over the shaking and the sick feeling. I am on 40mg 3times daily propanalol, but they don't seem to help me anymore. The medications i've read about scare the pants off me,i don't want to take anything with severe side effects. I'd be the happyest women on earth if somehow the torture of anxiety vanished+would have a big dream wedding but reality seems i'm going to be this complete wreck forever who can't even hold a 5minute conversation without falling apart. May sound pathetic to some but its that bad i thought if its anything to do with hormones than maybe having my womb removed would solve it all (i'd love more kids but would be selfish when i'm such a wreck).
Sorry about the big scatty rant but have got to the point of desperation, i need something to help especialy with the shaking and sick feeling. :(

[Cntbreal]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going thru this. Have you spoken to a dr yet about changing your meds? Or a psychiatrist (misspelled) I have with drawn from family functions and gatherings with friends also. But talking to my behavioral drs now gas helped me a great deal. I still have yet to beagle to go around people yet but I'm being there. And just remember this anxiety didn't get started over night so it won't heal over night but tipi have to try to get to the root if the problem to cable to get back to you. I also have a4 treat old and I cry ask the time because I can't get up to play with him so his dad after a long day at work is doing it and it makes me cry worst but I'm working on it. Hope you get better hun. Best wishes.

[Cntbreal]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going thru this. Have you spoken to a dr yet about changing your meds? Or a psychiatrist (misspelled) I have with drawn from family functions and gatherings with friends also. But talking to my behavioral drs now gas helped me a great deal. I still have yet to beagle to go around people yet but I'm being there. And just remember this anxiety didn't get started over night so it won't heal over night but tipi have to try to get to the root if the problem to cable to get back to you. I also have a4 treat old and I cry ask the time because I can't get up to play with him so his dad after a long day at work is doing it and it makes me cry worst but I'm working on it. Hope you get better hun. Best wishes.

[Dsmb]

Hi iv suffered with anxiety for 10 years after having my daughter , the doctor put me on citalapram 60mg and chlordiazepoxide and iv been on them to this day. Now it's has come back again and I'm back to where I was , I was told I couldn't conceive but somehow I have and that's set it off, I have a 11 year old and a 12 year old and couldnt cope with another one my doctor has also recommend that I have a termination which is making me feel guilty but I no that the meds that I take u can not take during pregnancy has it can harm the baby x this has brought it all back for me and just hope I can get through it x