How can I avoid thinking and worrying so much?

[veggielover]

There is so much lately that I have been thinking about and worrying about...I've been feeling really lethargic and sluggish and am just not in the mood to go out. I haven't even been keeping in touch with my friends as much as I should. I'm scared they are thinking I just don't care about them or their lives because I haven't been trying to talk to them..one of my biggest challenges is simply communicating. I'm trying to get out of this way that I'm feeling but I just don't know how.....some people say oh the best way to get over stress and worries is to go out with friends...but that is my problem, I can't get myself to go out and do those things..I just want to stop being so self-conscious and worrisome, I always have been, but I want to be over this part of my life. I'm having a hard time "just doing it" as some people would say...

I don't know what my problem is, I don't want to be this way and I know I'm really the only person who can make myself do what I need to, but I just don't know how to do it..I'm having a really hard time just being myself..maybe because I think and worry too much about what others will think. And again, I hate being this way, but it just comes naturally to over-analyze things and think too far ahead....I want to be able to simply live in the moment....what is the best advice to do this??

I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety, but I'm pretty sure of it because I have been feeling so anxious lately. Also, I have been having shortness of breath/breathing problems like I can't take deep breaths..that feeling like you are going to yawn but you just can't let it come out.

I would actually like to talk to a professional about this, but I don't have health insurance and I'm not sure where to find a good one..and I think there must be some people on this site who can help me out??

[marymagdeline]

Hi, You definitely feel a need to talk.  That's obvious from all that you wrote.  See a therapist.  A good one.  You will not regret it.  Good luck!

[veggielover]

Yes, I'm in college and I think I will go to the health center and ask them where I can find something in my budget.

Well, this isn't extremely new behavior for me, because I've done it in the past before, but it has come back recently. The thing is I just don't know how to talk to my friends after not talking to them for a few days. The reason I haven't been wanting to go out is just because I feel like I don't relate to any of my friends right now. I have always had low self esteem and been self conscious, at least since junior high. I have never been able to exert my opinion on things, but up until about last semester of school, I started realizing that having an opinion is really important and I'm starting to figure myself out. I feel like I want to make new friends and meet new people that I click with more..but I'm having a bit of a hard time with that. So, I don't know what to do because of course since I've known my friends for so long I wouldn't just drop them, but a lot of the time when I am hanging out with them I just feel like ugh why am I here, I don't fit in with these people...
And for the past 2 weeks, I have been hanging out with my ex-boyfriend much more than we were at the beginning of the break up. He is basically my best friend and the only person I have ever really been able to show my true self, besides my family I guess..even though they don't really know me. My ex is the only person who I feel really understands me and I can be myself around...my friends are just so judgmental and critical about everything and I despise that.
I am just having a hard time being myself and thats why I have not been going out or talking to friends lately. I just don't feel like there is anything to talk about, but they are the only ones I have so maybe I just shouldn't take them for granted....but I just don't find what they find fun anymore....

[RubyWitch]

You start out by saying "LATELY there is so much I've been thinking and worrying about......feeling sluggish, lethargic and just not in the mood to go out....." This says to me that not that long ago, this WASN'T an issue for you. So, the question, what's changed? Why this rather abrupt cessation of communicating with friends, going out? Where did this increase in self-consciousness come from?
You state that you have "always" felt like this, but apparently you were able to overcome it in the past.......so to my way of thinking, something happened to escalate these feelings. Can you go back to the time you first began to notice this change in your behavior and really examine what was going on in your life that may have contributed to this?
Your symptoms, in my humble opinion, are a bit of a mix of social anxiety, which would include your lack of desire to go out for fear of what other people will think and the lethargy and sluggishness could be attributed to the depression. The breathing "thing" is very common in anxiety and learning a few techniques to help with that would be beneficial for you. Hyperventaltion can create many symptoms, most very unpleasant, some quite frightening, that will only add to your anxiety. Shortness of breath and feeling like you can't take a deep breath are classic. I would work on this. There are many good sites, many good books that can help you with this issue.
You may just be a "worry-wort," building bridges and over-thinking things.......also pretty common if you're a Type A personality, and you say you haven't been "officially" diagnosed with any form of anxiety.
I realize I'm kind of all over the board with what may or may not be going on with you. I would first try to see if you could go back in your mind and find a "trigger" to this newer behavior, then I'd  talk to my doctor to rule out any organic reason for this change. I'd discuss with him about seeing someone, and if you explain your lack of insurance, he would hopefully have advice about low-cost therapy. Are you in college? If so, the schools infirmary should be able to direct you to on-campus therapists. Your local Mental Health agency may also have suggestions.
I agree, and hope, that there will be folks here who can help you. But there IS help out there for you and there is ALWAYS hope, so don't give up. EVER. And we are always here for you.
Peace
Greenlydia