need help with this one

[daffysoundz]

i have been suffering from what i think is anxiety or panic attack.my body is always shacking,hot flashes in some part of my body,chest pains,heart pounding,dizziness,and sleep not feeling like a natural sleep,insted it feels like im going to sleep before im ready or like im passing out or even dieing.now its effecting my love life,before we actually get down to sex, my heart starts to pound. pound so much that she feels it an ask me if im ok.of course we never get around to doing it at all because of my heart pounding.the first time it actually went into a panic attack.im searching the internet to see if it is normal, but came up blank.
can anyone tell me what to do or is this normal and have to wait until it gets better for me to make love to my girlfriend.



daffy

please help

[suzi-q]

That's what we are here for!  Welcome!

[daffysoundz]

thank you sooo much, i thought that it was only me, i will add all of u as my friends, i hope i could talk to you all when when i need help with any new symptoms

[suzi-q]

Since all medical tests are normal, yes it is anxiety and panic.  What is happening now is that anytime you are with your girlfriend you are nervous that you are going to get the anxiety, and sure enough, you get it.  It is the self fulfilling prophecy.  We get so afraid it is going to happen again and again.  You just have to push through it.  Don't give in.  It is hard but worth it!  ;-)

[MrGreen]

Man, why didn't you write up one post with all your symptoms, instead of the four or so you did, with the various stories in each. One post might have painted a better picture for the users to be able to help you out.

[Nasal_Problems]

This happens to me too, daffy. I'm a guy, so I know how it feels. Here's my advice. Push through it. I know your head is going to say, I can't when you start. Don't listen. Do it anyway. Accept that your heart is beating faster (which is normal) and that the truth is you are worried of embarrassing yourself infront of your partner. It's ok. It's normal. First, thing to do is accept this as fact. Accept it.

Next, go through with the deed. The whole time your mind will be telling you (I'll get back to this inconsistency in a second) to stop. It will tell you that you are going to die. Someone said above that their head will explode. I've actually had that happen to me.

Now, what are the chances that my head was going to explode, seriously? 0%. It's just not going to happen. It's actually funny. But, my mind tried to convince me. Notice what I'm saying. MY MIND tried to convince ME. Am I not my mind? If what I wrote is true, I'm not my mind. Instead, my mind is a tool. A mind is a tool used for working on problems. If you are anxious, you are probably a problem solver. You are probably good at finding solutions. The trick here is the solution is simple. Do nothing. You're mind is bored so it's creating problems. It may have become habitual for your mind to create negative scenarios. The problem now is that you are accepting the negative scenarios as fact.

So, can you control your mind? No! Can you stop it from doing this immediately? No. BUT, you can accept that your mind is creating negative scenarios because you are a person who is very guarded. Once you accept this, and allow the negative scenario to float in. That's right, I said allow the negative scenario to float in. Take a look at the thought (the negative scenario). Then assess it's likelyhood. Seriously, flip the problem on it's head. Flip your mind. Say, OK you want a problem mind. What's the likelihood that my head is going to explode because I'm making love? ZERO. Then dismiss the thought as absurd and do your best to move past it. Don't try to fight from ever thinking that thought. As I said above, you can not do that. Let the thought come in, and assess it's likelihood. Then dismiss. If you this repetitively, I think you will see an improvement.

Lastly, as for the love making the first time after reading this. Just do it. Don't stop. Just do it. You know you can. You are just scared. Which is fine. But, don't let your fear stop you. Do it. As long as you wear protection, you'll be fine. ;)

[daffysoundz]

my problem is before having sex ( like during kissing touching .ect.) my heart starts to pound, and then i would have a panic attack. is over excitement making my heart pound ?

someone please help

[slim76]

The feelings that you are having are very common in Anxiety & Panic. You are not alone! I have been going thru another bout of seeking doctors to find out if something is physically wrong w/ me and all are coming up w/ stress. It can be frustrating, as you are finding out. Definately see a good doctor about these issues. You may find that getting on something like an antidepressent may work for you. You are doing the right thing by asking questions in this forum. I have seen many bits of good advice here and have been learning alot. I listed some of my symptoms below just so you would see how stress can effect somebody.

Pressure/ Tingling on Left temple
Difficulty breathing
Heart racing
Elevated Blood pressure
Blurred vision
Confusion
Stiff Neck
Loss of appetite
Insomnia
Numbness
Panic/ Terror
I have had so many tests done that it would be hard to believe that everything is coming up negative. CT scans of head, MRI of Brain, Ultrasound of Heart and Corotid Artery, Blood, and others. We just have anxiety...

[daffysoundz]

i did check with my doctor an i did get thyroid ,blood count,and even ecg.they all came back normal

[nozmeg]

hi daffy sounds like anxiety to me have simular prob with my partner i suffer headaches and have fear off aneursym i dont have sex a lot with my partner cause of the fear my head will blow up  ive been diagnosed with severe anxiety  i get dizzy spells as well have you spoke with ur g.p. about this,may be good idea to see doc and discuss ur symptoms  maybe check urbloods to rule out anything medical  ie thyroid then they could offer u some form of meds or support for your anxiety  best of luck