Hello and welcome to the forum. We'll try to help.
First, be sure that if you think you are suicidal, even if you're not 100% sure of your intentions, that you seek help immediately by getting yourself to the closest hospital. Suicide is never the answer, and with sleep deprivation clouding your brain, you are not thinking straight to begin with. Don't take those thoughts lightly.
You say this happens every year since 2006. Is it happening the same time of year? Is there something triggering this event? Possibly a past trauma that is increasing your anxiety at a certain time of year, thus affecting your sleep? How did it resolve in the past? Anything specific you did to improve your sleep? Have you seen a doctor and ruled out a medical cause? Had any therapy? Anxiety and depression can have a drastic effect on our sleep cycles, some reporting insomnia (like you) and others sleeping too much.
The very best thing to do in this situation is get to your doctor and request a referral to a psychiatrist who can better evaluate you and diagnose any issues you may have (depression, anxiety disorder, etc). This may be something you can resolve with some talk therapy, but seeing a doctor will be helpful if there are meds worth trying in your situation. Any which way, you need to sort this out and figure out why this is happening and how to fix it. That's where a doctor/therapist can be of help.
In the meantime, sleep whenever you can. If you feel tired, lie down. Even an hour here and there is better than nothing. Try to get some exercise, even a brisk walk a few times a day. Hot baths at bedtime can be helpful. Some people report things like herbal teas and soothing music, or a lighthearted TV show can really help. Stay away from TV and music that would induce fear or stress (horror fils, heavy rock music, etc).
I think once you figure out WHY this is happening, you'll be able to work with t professional and start working on fixing it.
Best of luck...let us know how you're doing.
I am so deeply touched by the concern and advice you gave me. So far nothing has changed with my sleeping problem. For now, I have ruled out going to a doctor because I believe I am strong enough to consider getting into interventions. I have taken a local leave from work so that I could figure out how to overcome this problem. Someone has told me it's only a case of anxiety attack because my mind continues to grind that causes my not being able to feel sleepy. I will follow your advice though of self-therapy.
Thank you so much for your advice. I really appreciate your time and concern. God bless you!
I agree with nursegirl you should seek medical help. Anxiety and depression bring insomnia along with them. These are MEDICAL conditions that REQUIRE medical treatment. 'Only a case of anxiety attack' is frequently like telling someone who has pneumonia 'It's only a cold'.
You get ill, you go to the doctor and they help you get better. This is NO different. Yes you can forget that and stay home in bed for extended periods of time and pray to get better, suffering on your own senselessly. But what kind of life is that???
Realize that this can be a serious medical condition that will effect you your entire life and running away from the things that can help you deal with it is NOT the answer.
I tell you this out of personal experience...save yourself a LOT of unneeded sickness and get help TODAY! Take care.
If you believe that this is only temporary, there are meds that you can take temporarily for whatever is causing the insomnia. You don't need to be on something permanently. You need to sleep. Our body demands it. The longer you go without sleep the harder it gets to be able to sleep. Please see a doc.