Does Your Family and Friends Understand Your lliness

[vickie5989]

This is a big one for me.  I've been living with my folks since last March.  They both have Altzheimers.  They don't see me ill and then they forget I am.  So I have a hard time with it.   Especially my dad once he said your not sick  until I see a note from the doctor.  I'm 58!  I've lost a couple of friends because I can't listen to their constant problems and then they start saying "oh, there's nothing wrong with you.  Or, Vickie You never listen to me when I'm having a bad time. I try to tell them that I can't listen to it.  It's one of my triggers.  Just the other day my friend of over 30 years said "Vickie we're going in different directions."  Well  I am.  So now we don't talk.  She had a habit of always putting me down and more or less making me fee stupid.

I have to work hard living in this house making sure my parents take their medicines, don't harm themselves, etc., and at the same time keep my sanity.  I don't have a social life this is it. My brother doesn't even come over or help.

Do you have issues with your family and friends?

[25andhurt]

no and i dont think they care either to be honest, i just get told that im imagining it,

[Bluetwo]

I had to dump a friendship just recently.  Our school district is going through a lot of changes and it is creating uncertainity with the teachers. Uncertainity is not good for bipolars. It's not productive or positive. We are laying off teachers because of budget problems. I don't like gossip especially when facts are not straight. I know gossip exist and the grape vine is alive and well. If your going to gossip at least get your facts straight. When our district started restructuring, my friend kept on calling me up telling me the latest news who was getting axed or reassigned to another school.  When I talked to the person who was getting reassigned to show my sympathy, the teacher said no such thing is occurring and wondered who was giving out that information. I told the teacher it was my friend and I was warned that she likes to gossip.  If the gossiper is getting facts and figures wrong - what is she saying about me? Trust is a big thing with me. I lost all trust in this friend and I don't want to indulged any private information anymore  When I was ill last year she ask many questions trying to figure out what was wrong with me or asking how I was getting along with the other teachers during my vulenerable time. I had a bad episode. I became aggitated and said many things plus I was put on different med's to stablize me. So basically I showed my worst side of me. I am well now but I kept my distance from this individual and when she confronted me again she said it was my illness flaring up. She put a label on me which I did not appreciate and I don't think she has a clue what bipolar is. I have warned others about her because they thought I was big buddies with her and tell them to keep their privacy or she will twist everything around.  I don't think she is malicious or anything but I think she has a lot of time on her hands and I think she lives through other's lives.. She's a retired teacher doing substitute work.

[Csandnugget]

It's funny that it works that way, we are also sick, but so much is loaded onto us that we sometimes really cannot handle.

And we are nice, so we do it.
When actually we should be resting so that we don't burn out or trigger another episode
Would - "leave me alone, my back hurts", make more of an impact than -

"I feel like a train has just ran over me - I can't physically or mentally do anything at this stage"    ?

The alzheimers must be really frustrating.
With my mom, I think I would eventually make up fairy stories to tell her just to keep myself amused. That's another thing I'm very UN-fond of - repeating myself.
I wonder if she would debate these tall tales with me?
hee hee

I just type the names in manually (in the 'TO' area)- and not necessarily the whole name, I think that works?

[vickie5989]

Yes, no matter how many times I try to explain to mother my moods and why I get irritated, rages, moody - its goes in one hear and out of the other.  My dad doesn't believe he's daughter has anything. He's a hard man.  Once he said he wouldn't believe anything unless he got a note from the doctor.  I'm living in a world of Alzheimer's so matter what I say they don't remember.  That's why I joined this site.  I hope it works.

P.S. How to you add more than one person in the TO area?

[vickie5989]

Thanks for all the feedback,  I'm glad I'm not in this alone in this.  I need friends here where I live to talk to.  I can't talk to my brother or parents.  That's why I'm so glad this forum is here.  I found it by accident.  It's really sad when your own family can't believe or understand that you have a problem.  Lately I've been very tired.  The last two days has been irritating.  My mom went to the hospital and Vickie (me) had to do everything to take care of things like pack her bags, find the insurance card, I can't even find my things, sign her in at the hospital, etc.  My brother didn't show up, my dad (Altzheimer's) sits around and watches.  Then I had to go to the grocery store for them, pick up prescriptions, clean house, etc. The list goes on.  I hardly have time with me.  When I do I lock myself in my room and get on the computer.

If anyone lives in Dallas or near it would be nice to get together.  Thanks for all for listening to my venting.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

It's true, people can only truly understand if they've dealt with something first hand, partially only understand if they've experienced it second hand.  Because imagination can only show you so much of something you never experienced.