Redirecting Negative Energy: Reasons to Live?

[ILADVOCATE]

I do notice people sometimes experience suicidal ideations (can't say I am immune) and of course at that time the best thing to do is speak to your psychiatrist immediately. But if they just disrupt your moods or train of thought from time to time and not your whole life besides speaking to your psychiatrist I've found for myself one excellent way to redirect is to post one reason you want to live and why life is worth living, family, friends, goals, etc. and then keep going from there. Since its common to experience this, I'd be interested if people could just post one positive reason they want to live and why life is worth living even if they sometimes feel otherwise. Think about it.

[LetaB]

  I just discussed just calling up and talking to my psychologist with my boyfriend and we had a good laugh. I live in America - what country do YOU live in when you have such access? Even if it weren't Sunday I have NEVER been able to speak directly to my doctor after 10 years. Now I've lost him so I called the only other psychiatrist in this valley and they told me they were making appointments 6 MONTHS in advance! the only person I could talk to right now would be some stranger with questionable credentials who would preach to me, argue with me, and consistently threaten to call the police if I am honest with her.

[ILADVOCATE]

I would hope psychiatrists are as receptive in other countries as some of the ones I've met here. I can't say I'll ever know personally but as for research, that occurs around the world with a variety of high level researchers, pharmaceutical companies and universities networking so ideas certainly do. Disability rights are becoming more important in other countries as well. And the U.S. itself is behind on some things such as a national health care system. But I digress...
  When a person is in that state they don't think of others the same way they don't think of themselves. Its essential when we are doing well to reach out to others and have people in our lives so even if we are isolated we change that so that at times of crisis we have people that do create meaning for us. People should value themselves but we are also part of society. That's why I do need to get out physically from time to time and want to increase it. Its not been the same and I am actively trying to change that.

[Delusion]

Lol i love it when people say when your getting the thoughts get into your psychaitrist immediately like its that easy, if only we were all american eh

My reason like many other peoples would be guilt at the fact the few people who actually care would blame themselves for being so stupid and oblivious in a way it would be largely their own fault but they still do not deserve to see me die. Has anyone ever wished however for loved ones to be happy for them if they ever did it? That they finally worked up the courage and their heads are finally at peace and are no longer in pain? This is something a lot of people overlook.

[irishwriter]

you echo my life at the moment. it is difficult just to get through the day and also trying to maintain the 'no cutting' right now though i have reached the four week mark, last friday. my last suicide failure still haunts me as a failure and i remember the crystal clear quality of the water i drank to take the pills. i didn't put the phone out of the room though and i have no recollection of calling a friend who came straight away and got me to hospital. most of the time i wish i had succeeded but beyond spur of the moment desires to escape the unremitting pain of this i am usually stopped by the thought of my children who still need me so much. also pdoc is wonderful for talking me down and trying to get me to see all the good things i do and have in my life. i am still hoping for the meds that will work properly for me. the current regime is not bad but on monday pdoc and i will talk about what needs to be added or increased as the lows have been v. bad lately. i had a suicide plan for may and a part of me feels that i will be a complete prat if i don't do it. another part of me hopes that i will get through this month and that the meds will kick in and do their job. i have lost so much time in my life that i would love to be able to avail of the time i have now. i too have a problem with being able to 'act as if' i am fine when i absolutely am not.

sorry also to ramble.

iw

[ILADVOCATE]

Thanks for the compliments. Seriously. But I was having suicidal ideations from the extreme pain of my physical disability and I would not have acted on them. As I posted if I had been having suicidal ideations that were from depression as I've always stated I wouldn't be posting here. I'd be on the phone (TTY in my case) with my psychiatrist. I was just trying to start a thread here to have people find reasons to see why they enjoy life and value themselves so at times when they don't they could look back and see why and think again. I adjusted treatment for my physical disability from advice I recieved (from the staff neurologist) that I gave to my neurologist and he found quite of help. Just another forum. Even when things are bad physically life goes on. It will be hard to physically get out and about and am setting up accomodations but I have some people to help (but can't post that for confidentiality reasons) in the outside world and now I am finally ready to. Don't worry. As regards myself life does go on. I got some energy back with some of the new treatments I am on for my physical disability and did a collage and a poem, first time in a while.
   And don''t worry standard or experimental I always take my medication as prescribed. I work with the system to keep things regulated on my end and then reach out to others. And its good to hear people have reasons of their own to keep going in life and always important to keep those in mind when life isn't going well.

[adel_ezz]

When I saw your first post about valuing yourself and taking care of yourself, i felt for the 1st time you are in one of your lows. I tried to think of something to say. Yesterday, I didn't do anything at work thinking about you and i was sad. Each time i reach something to tell you and then revise your old posts i realised that i will not compare to yours. Then I imagined MEDHELP forum without you how would it taste. The first thing in the morning when i wake up before going to work I first look into BP forum for perhaps I find one of your new posts for me to benefit from. Several months ago, I thought you answer posts in the BP forum only, until i posted once a question in the depression forum managed by LeftCoastChick and was astonished to receive a reply from you. I even spoke once about my mother heart problems and found you concerned giving advise. If i think of someone deserving to be called the father of MEDHELP it will be you for sure.

Now you talk about suicide ideations, you are still in your lows. The question is not whether there is a reason to survive but rather WHY there is a reason to die. OF COURSE it's our damn illness, we feel crippled. Suicidal ideation is a state of mind for the weak who wants to escape. But who is the weak. Not the person who feels handicapped by his poor sight, or bad health but who lost track. I saw poor people wanting to live eagerly on the contrary very rich people wanting to die. So simply it's the state of our mind which tells us this. Some would tell you if i can find a way to die but not with pain then I would do it. He is lying in order to escape again. Psychologists will tell you that psych patients have to sit with others and frequent the society and this exactly what we do here. One major reason why Arabs don't commit suicide is two fold: they live in a large community with families and their religion like all the rest of the religions prohibiting suicide.

I will tell you all non-BP people also thought of the same ideation once in their life. Bankrupted people, defeated leaders, etc...feeling that they have no aim in their life so why keeping it. Those people can't face others. On the contrary we have nothing to fear. We are angry that is all sometimes from the society (should be more understanding of our illness) from our parents that they let us inherit it but none of us is ashamed of his situation.

Besides, watching others is educating. I came to the conclusion that happiness not only it's a state of the mind but occurs sometimes only. Otherwise we would have encountered people called happy. None of this happens this way. On the contrary people who experience pain enjoy more and much more the time when they are OK. My parents tell me when in recovery i keep singing happily and they tell me but this is the normal situation which people experience. But for me, i find it amazing.

Don't you remember your regular posts to me feeling so much concerned about my taking an antidepressant and urging me to take a mood stabilizer and especially advising lamictal. I remember at least half a dozen of messages private to me adcvising a mood stabilizer I was afraid of course to cross the barrier to the anticonvulsants. I passed on your advise to my new pdoc. I started lalmictal a fortnight ago and now i am a new person. Look what you have done. To give happiness and stability to others is like implanting a new rose in the heart of others. Can't you see your ACHIEVEMENTS.

I am very glad to be in this forum. Even when I did a mistake towards the nicest lady, I found you speaking to me in private and very politely reminding me that this is a public forum only. Indeed it's public, but I never felt so at ease as if i live in a big family like this one.

I hope the best for all of you and NEVER forget to take your meds
ezz