At a loss

[Matthewsmom19]

So my husband and i have been together for 4 years now ive got a 5 year old son from a previous relationship. We have 2 kids together. Ever since our 2 came along he treats my 5 year old so much different then the other 2. He is always yelling at him, telling him hes wrong that everytime his brother crys or screams he gets blamed for it. My son is adhd, odd, and has some speech and learning problems which at times can be overwhelming. My son is in counseling for everything and he is doing ok. Ive asked my husband several times to be apart of the counseling sessions so that they could work on there relationship but he refuses to have any part of it. I am a stay at home mom and when its just my kids and i here everything is calm and quite but the minute there dad walks in the door they start fight and

[specialmom]

And one of the key components to therapy, is wanting it.  While you can draw someone in, success happens when that person embraces the challenge.  Your husband does not sound like he cares to change this dynamic.  You can give that a try but I would watch closely and set the boundary that it changes or you are gone.  As someone also in that profession, I would gage damage this man is doing to everyone and put that above all else.  good luck

[specialmom]

Oh my goodness, I'm so  sorry to hear this!  This would tear me up as a mother.  Your last sentence speaks volumes to me.  When it is just you and the kids, everything is calm.  When this man walks in the door, fighting breaks out.  

Your son and other kids deserve a calm home.  You married the 'enemy' as far as your little boy is concerned.  Can you imagine if your parent brought into your life someone that couldn't stand you and forced you to live with that person?  

I'm a huge fan of the family staying together. But my opinion is that I could not do this to my child.  I would make plans on how to leave the situation.  It would not be worth it to live with someone who made it clear they didn't like my child and were going to treat them as a second class family member.  I would not put up with that.  For a second.   good luck

[MarkLakewood3367]

Discuss this situation with your son's therapist.  After all, this is an issue that directly affects your son.  This therapist might be instrumental in drawing your husband into therapy by phoning or talking to him.  As a therapist, I did this quite frequently.