Rough playing

[annette96]

My daugther is 7 at 5 she was witness to my sister in law beating me up and a violent episode between me and my partner.
In school she is being rejected by her peers because of her rough playing. At home she is really sweet and giving but she yells and is rough with all. What can I do to help her?

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I have a 7 year old as well and boy, does it sure hurt if they are rejected by peers.  I'm glad you've recognized how her own behavior contributes to it.  

Some kids do not understand boundaries with age mates.  I would set these up for her and be very specific.  If she doesn't understand personal space-------  show it to her this way----  get a hoola hoop and have her put it around her.  Then try to get in with her!  She'll laugh because it is obviously too close.  Talk about this space around other people.  She should not invate their space.  This is one way to keep her from being too rough because if you don't get too close, you can't be too rough.  I would talk about being 'gentle'.  If she is playing tag, she is to touch only----  not push.  Go ahead and think of all scenarios in which she gets too rough and set a specific limit withit and go over it and over it.  Consequece is, the game is over and she sits out if she doesn't adhere to the boundary.  

Start talking about what it means to be a good friend and not hurting others is part of that.  Talk about 'taking care of ourself and taking care of others."  When she hurts someone, is she taking care of them??  No.  Get that line of thinking going in her head.

If you feel past experiences are currently influencing her, perhaps a counselor would be helpful to deal with that situation.  good luck

[margypops]

As for a sister in law beating you up....you pick up the phone and you call the Police .....

[margypops]

This is one of those times we can see that rough housing is not good and that children do learn and copy it, She most definatly in my opinion seen the rest of the family being violent . I think you have to stop it by taking privileges away from her, No TV No Computer, she does without anything she likes.YYou talk to her and tell her that the behavior she saw in you and others is not permitted and has to stop, you may want to think about some counseling if she is hurting others.What does the Teacher at school say , do they stop the behavior? Lastly no violent episodes between you and a partner, it has to stop, it will stay with her all her life .,if he is a violent man time to get away from him and that kind of life .Good luck