9 yr old ADHD/Bi Polar/Mood Disorder

[cbh500]

My 9 year old son at the age of 5 was diagnosed with ADHD at a Child Study Center. He now is diagnosed with not only ADHD but with a Mood Disorder (not sure exactly what that encompasses) and Bi Polar disorder which runs in my maternal side. We have been through the ringer as far as different medications and strengths go. Right now he is on extended release Vyvanse and Seroquil.

The problem that I have been persistently having is the rage and anger my son seems to demonstrate.
His main problem is yelling. He begins to yell and when you tell him to stop he insists that he is not yelling and it escalates from there. He tells me many times that he yells because he can’t hear very well, yet at his well child visit 2 months ago his hearing test was normal.

He has one time gotten in such a fit of rage that it resulted in physically hitting and kicking me.  It’s like one minute he will be loving, then like a flick of a switch he turns into a monster.  His fits of rage and yelling usually last for 1-2 hours with him in his room where I don’t acknowledge it happening. I will let it run its course till he either falls asleep or calms down enough to apologize but usually it ends with him tiring himself out.

My dilemma is I don’t know how to tackle these raging episodes. Not sure what discipline tactics work for children with this type of mental disorder. I have tried spanking and even putting soap in his mouth when he yells at me, but the rage still seems to persist. My ex-husband suggested duck taping his mouth when he starts to yell but I know that’s extreme. Oh, yes I forgot to mention I am handling this as a single mother with my poor 8 yr old daughter who has to witness and hear all of this and even take some of the verbal abuse by him.

Any guidance or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

[cbs62]

I have notied that every other post you have responded to has been almost the same.  Do you work for the Total Transformation?  Just curious...

[cbh500]

The advice you give makes a lot of sense. At times in the fit of his rage I forget that his mental state isn't the same as normal kids his age.
What you mentioned about the sensory system is so true because he is an oversensitive child and cries very easily because he feels under attack. Anger management is something I have been meaning to talk to his Psychiatrist about and will do so at his appointment next week.  

Thanks for the sound advice.

[Natta1980]

Keep ignoring tantrums - give no reaction since reaction, even negative one, is rewarding in this case - Total Transformation guy is behavioral analyst, that is what they advise for all disorders that have to do with poor impulse control anyway

I disagree with the previous poster that you have to adress behaviors that are not related to your son's disorder, even more so to the poor impulse control that is associated with this disorder. Think about it as while "typical" person willl have internal breaks for their impulses, ADHD person will not. So, once they are angry, everything goes, kicking screaming, hitting, smashing things, what have you. I found that anger management techniques are a great deal of help in managing impulses in children with ADHD and autism spectrum disorders, mood disorders, etc.....

Letting him to scream it out is a right thing, soap and spanking is not as these strategies DO NOT work with ADHD children...Their sensory systems are usually very sensitive, and with spanking/soap/raising your voice at them they go into overload - momentarily, that will result in a meltdown. They are not able to control their meltdowns - that is just how brain is wired

It takes about 2-3 weeks to go through "extinction burst", and it is going to get worse before it will get better, so hang in there and stick to your "active ignoring" technique.

Good luck

[cbh500]

Thank You!! Thank You!! I say that because I had actually seen that infomercial for that man about a week ago and wrote it down but misplaced it. I had been racking my brain trying to remember the name of that book and the program that he offered. So when I read that you actually mentioned it I thought, "Oh what a God sent."

Thanks again and I will definitely look into it.

God Bless