Kindergardener in crisis

[Dedee642]

I have a 5 year old boy in kindergarden.  He is a pleasant, happy, healthy boy.  At school, he continues to get in trouble for moving out of his seat, and being disrespectful to teachers and helpers.  He will run down the hallways and use a loud voice.  He will not listen to authority figures when they ask him to stop.  We live a rather boring life.  His father and I are happily married for 7 years.  I have a 16 year old son from a previous marriage, and he and his brother get along very well.  Our family and friends rarely have problems with our 5 year old.  The problems only arise at school.  The school claims they have problems with disciplining him, as he doesnt really care about recess being taken away or being asked to go to a quiet area.  My husband I and believe that he is attention seeking from all authority figures, and he is rewarded by all the negative attention.  How can we stop his misbehavior?  He is an excellent student, actually exceeding standards in all catagories other than citizenship.  Recently we had a meeting with the school, and they suggested that he may have ADHD or hyperactivity.  My husband and I believe that these problems with being disrespectful ONLY occur at the school, so how can it be either hyperactiviy or ADHD?  Please give us any suggestions.  We believe that our son isn't the only child that has ever seeked attention in school.    

[Dedee642]

We have disicplined him at home, sometimes harshly.  He is remorseful and does comply at school, but only for a couple of days.  His behaviors always return.....Thank you for the info on anxiety.  I just remembered that the teacher did tell us that he was putting his pencil in his mouth alot.  I thought that he was just oral stimulating.......but maybe he is trying to relieve stress that he feels.  I am still unsure what the teachers can do about this behavior.  As they claim, and I completely understand, they can not ignore, isolate or physically punnish him, so they are beside themselves, and as parents, we are too.

[jdtm]

Another possibility is that your son suffers from anxiety.  Anxiety mimics ADHD behaviour in perceived unsafe environments (as school).  The increased chemical activity in the brain caused by anxiety or stress can give the appearance of hyperactivity or ADHD/ADD.  If anxiety is the cause, your son will be unable to control his behaviours without some tools on how to "manage" his fears.  Just another option ...

[AllexandHannahsMom]

Have you considered warning him that there will be consequences at home if he acts up at school? You could get a daily report from his teacher and then decide what to take away from him at home. I wouldn't believe that he has ADHD or hyperactivity if this is only something he does at school. Maybe there is a favorite thing at home that you can take away if he acts poorly at school. He needs to have you and your husband sit down with him and explain to him how his behavior is disrespectful and unacceptable. Also, if he is exceeding the norm for his grade level, could he be bored in school because he's not being challenged enough? Maybe if his brain had more of a job to do at school his body would calm down. Good luck!