Listening - Soon to be 3yr old girl-

[AJNB]

My daughter is smart and engaging..  I have tried many approaches to get her to listen.  For the most part, she is okay at home.  However, at school, she has been hitting and spitting on her teachers and the other children.  She yells and appears to have a lot of pent up anger and frustration.  Is this developmentally appropriate behavior or should I be concerned.  She just entered a new pre-school program but she has been in daycare for most of her life.

[AJNB]

Thanks for responding.  She refused to listen to the teachers at daycare as well.  The pre-school program is small and she is one of few students.  I explained her temperament to the director and she seemed to think that my daughter would adapt.  She doesn't have to attend this school but the bigger concern I have is how to help her turn the corner.  she is polite but when she doesn't get her way she explodes.  She doesn't do this at home because she knows it is not acceptable.  I explained to the director how important it is to be strict with her.

I get knots in my stomach when I have to pick her up.  What is it going to be this time...  I work fulltime and there is no option for her not to attend school.  I guess I am frustrated and worried that her behavior may be something more than toddler antics.

I appreciate your input and may have to think about moving her back into the previous center...

[jdtm]

Sounds like the new pre-school program does not meet her needs.  Perhaps she is too young, or she doesn't deal well with change, or she doesn't feel comfortable with the teacher and/or her classmates, or something else.  Is there a reason why she must attend this school?