5 yr old Boy .. non social at school

[Mom2Nate]

My son just started Kindergarten a few weeks ago and every couple days the teacher sends home notes that he was having "outburst" and was defiant.
She has told me he is very intelligent but becomes overwhelmed with anxiety easily, he screams and yells at her, and often only works well one on one. Teacher says he doesnt pretend, however at home he pretends almost constantly and builds with legos and such daily. She said  He does not participate in group activites or socialize with peers, which makes her believe he will fall behind or struggle in the future. I have had him evaluated for autism before but the school is demanding I get it done again.
At home he doesnt listen all the time but he does what is asked of him. He does homework when told, cleans up, goes to sleep (no issues with sleep), brushes his teeth alone, etc. To be honest I feel she is railroading him for no reason. He is an only child and I will be the first to admit very spoiled.   I can't help feeling its more of an adjustment issue over anything else.  Any ideas what it could be? I am at a complete loss and I am so stressed daily I cant stop crying.
Thank you for any help!

[Mom2Nate]

Well we went to dr. He has 2 signs of autism but they are extremely low and could be shyness so They want him to be seen again before they officially say yes or no.
The dr said 'if u look at autism as an olympic pool he is barely dip in his toes' his signs they are talking about are the anxiety when corrected and attention when given more than 3 steps, which both could be because this is all new and not a sign at all.
Keep u updated. Thanks!

[margypops]

yes thats the way to go and you will know what you are dealing with, good luck let us know the outcome ..

[Mom2Nate]

Thanks for the input.
I actually scheduled with Behavorial specialist before school asked me to. If there is an issue i want him to get help. But if there isnt i dont want them Treating him like there is one.

[margypops]

I agree with you that it seems like an adjustment problem, from what you say here I would change my childs school rather than have him labelled with something else .

[tiredbuthappy]

As a parent, I would be inclined to give it a little more time. However, I also have the perspective of a teacher. As an overwhelmed teacher who probably does not have the time or resources to meet his needs, I would also encourage the parent to get an evaluation. Plus, she is right that the more negative experiences he has, the harder it becomes for him.

So, as both, here is what I recommend: I would go ahead and get your child evaluated. There are 2 possible outcomes- the first is that you are told again that he does not have any developmental delays. You can then breathe a sigh of relief, and work with the teacher to find ways to help your child. The second possible outcome is that they find there is something. If that is the case, you son would get interventions early on in his schooling, which makes it much more likely for him to benefit from therapies and interventions.
While this entire situation is stressful and overwhelming, it is not going to disappear over night. Unfortunately, she may not have the resources to meet his needs.