My 11 Year Old Step son Poops his pants

[Troubled404]

My 11 year old step son still poops his pants.  My husband and I got custody of my son when he was 5 years old.  His mother and us lived in diffrent states. She was not a good mother so we were able to get custody.  When we got him he was never fully potty trained.  He would have accidents but we would say he is young that is okay.  The whole 6 years we had him his mother would barely call or see him.  She would only see him in the summer.  He would have problems pooping his pants in school and it would fall on the floor and the teachers would call me after they found the poop on the floor.  He would not do it everyday but he would do it enough.  Then bout 9 months ago we moved to the same state his mom lives in.  He has been seeing her everyother weekend.  Since we moved here he does it everyday.  We have tried everything from making him wash them out, spanking him, embarrassing him, talking to him and taking all his toys away. Nothing has worked.  I had doctor's tell me nothing is wrong.  I had counslers tell me to ignore it.  We have tried all that.  He smells so bad when he does it that my 6 and 7 year old children tell him he smells.  He said that he cannot feel it and it does not bother him if he is messy and smells.  Then after he does all that he does not feel the need to shower.  My son is also ADHD.  But I have a daughter that is to and she does not poop her pants. He also trys to hide it by putting the underware in hiding spots in his room. The next thing you know the house is smelly because of it.  He gets in the vehicle when the family goes somewhere and it is almost unbearable to sit in the van with him.  I feel sorry for the other kids because they have to sit back there with him.  I have asked everybody I know for help and all the ideas have been used. Can anybody help!!!!

[margypops]

I think you are right to get him checked out it does sound as if there is something going on, your Doctor will hav other ideas how you proceed Good Luck

[Troubled404]

He has been in counsling for 5 years.  We started counsling with him a long time ago because we felt it was hard on him when we got custody and he was taken away from his mom.  The cousler told me that since he is back by his mom he is reverting back to being a baby to try and gain her love.  For 5 years she would pay no mind to him and when we move close to her it is more convient for her to be a mother.  She has no excuse now for not seeing or calling him.  About 3 years ago he molested my two younger daughters and social services told us that about a report they got from a parent of a kid he was bragging to about it.  My hudband and i think that while he was at his mom house one summer it happen to him.  Her new husband is not stable and his family is kind of diffrent and he had younger teenage brothers.  When my son visited there that is where they all lived.  He would act very diffrent ever summer he came home from her house. My husband and I are so cautious about who our children are around.  We would have never guessed that our son would be someone we had to look out for, not to hurt the other children. After reading some things on this website.  I think I know what he might have Endocaprises ( spelled something like that)  I actually set up a doctors appointment.  Hopefully this will be the answer to a long long battle.

[margypops]

Perhaps he is upset about something in his life and this is his way of expressing it, sounds like a cry for help, maybe get some counseling as I think there is more going on ,perhaps a school counselor, how does the teacher and school handle this if he does this at school,other than calling you. I doubt if punishments like hitting him or taking his things away will do any good, ,get some help to find out Why he is doing it.