4yr old with bowel movement problems

[Tonan]

My nephew will be 4 this month and refuses to have a bowel movement in the toilet. He has never eaten properly and eats mostly fast food. His mother has been giving him 2tsp of miralax everyday for the last month and now he leaks all the time. She now is giving him supositories on top of this. She tells me the doctor thinks his nerves in his rectum have died. I'm concerned with this matter but she doesn't seem to be. Should I be worried about long term problems because of this.

[ourchildrenfirst]

using fear to get a desired behavior from your child is not appropriate. potty training will happen in time you just have to be consistent and patient.
if you use fear as a technique for potty your child will have anxiety each time they have to go and likely regress.
Also using the doctor to enforce fear will cause your child to always fear the doctor or anyone resembling a doctor ie dentist, eye doctor etc.
a doctor should be seen as a helpful and gentle person not to be used to strike fear in a child and seen as an enemy.
teachers and friends are important to the childs growth and development, they learn important social skills. these relationships are very important and telling your child that they will be upset at  the child for having an accident is heatbreaking to hear and will be devistateing for the child to hear also.
please keep in mind that children are new to this world. they cant be potty trained with a snap of a finger because you say so. it takes alot of hard work and posotive guidance.

[dsol4432]

I have used laxatives but also have told my 4 year old that I will call the doctor if he doesn't stop pooping his pants. I don't know if it's the fear he has of the doctor's or just the tone of my voice, but somehow it's working. If all else fails, tell him the teachers and kids will be "mad" at him if he doesn't go in the potty. Hope that helps.

[specialmom]

That doesn't sound right . . . at all.  Can the nerves in the rectum die?  

Many 4 year olds have potty issues.  Boys are harder to potty train and can take longer. How long has he been potty trained?  It can come in stages . . .

And many kids are constipated and have issues which cause them not to want to use the toilet.  My son did .  .  . I just increased his fruit (real fruit and fruit juice) intake and it solved our issue.

Perhaps his mother (and you) should consult a pediatrician.  Good luck