I have an 8 yr. old son, he was diagnosed with adhd,and ptsd. we had to hold him back this past year in school because of his emotional development issues. he struggled all year long. he would have 'meltdowns" in class. he would get very angry and upset because he coulnd't comprehend the work. he would start crying, throwing his crayons, pencils, papers, notebook, whatever he couldget his hands on then crawl under his desk and curl up in a ball and cry. he also was very abusive to his teacher, she would try to reason with him and calm him down but most of the time it didn't work. after he did finally calm down he was useless for the rest of the day. he made3 no attempt to do his work or participate with the class. he went to the counselor on several occasions but he wouldn't tell her what was wrong or anything. he lashed out at the other children in class and treated them mean sometimes hitting and kicking them for no apparent reason. he has been on medication since he was 4 yrs old. he was in a counseling group 2 times a week, but when we moved to Sandsprings the counseling sessions stopped. for the last 2 nights he has woken up and was fighting something and very angry. i tried to get him to wake up and tell me what was wrong, but he just slung his arm around covered up his head and rolled over. he has been on medication since the age of 4, and he has been on just about every medication there is for adhd and mood disorders. my ex-husband decided to9 take him off his med's about a month ago and he has gone downhill ever since. the doseage of 1 of his med's is kinda high so i didn't put him back on it until i can get him into see a real psychiatrist and counselor. i try talking to him, being sympathetic, being consistant with the rules and very clear as to what is expected of him and he is just becoming out of control. between me, his step-dad, and grandma over the last 4 days he has gotten spanked, sent to his room, put in time-out, games taken away, anything i can think of to punish him for his negative behavior. his dad called last night and i took the phone to him, and when i did i reached up and turned the t.v. down a little so they could hear he reached up and slapped me on my arm, i reacted and slapped him back on his hand. his dad threw a fit because zack was crying and couldn't talk clearly, his dad got me back on the phone and began to jump on me over it and i told him that i was not going to tollerate him hitting me like that. he was mad about it, but he is an over the road truck driver and he's not here raising him on a day to day basis. i am at my witts end with him i don't know what or how to help him. i just try to be as consistant as i can with him and show him a ton of love all day and night long. we play games together i try to help him with his school work or anything he needs help with, i treat him with respect and honor his wishes, yet he disrespects me4 constantly, back talking giving me evil looks, deliberately disobeying me, screaming and yelling, running through the house. he wont do what i ask him to do until i get up and spank him or put him in time-out. it seems like no matter what i try to do to disipline him it doesn't phase him a bit. when he gets punished he just gets more and more angry and hostile towards anyone or the animals or whoever happens to be there. i have an appointment with an accredited psychiatrist at the end of the month, i just don't know what to do with him until then. i do not like to spank him but nothing else even comes close to getting through to him. i just feel like a bad parent because my child won't mind or obey me or anyone else for that matter. i tried to enforce disipline with him when he was young, but his dad would step in and protect him from getting punished, then he and i would argue and fight for hours over it. see he doesn't believe in spanking or time-outs or grounding, or taking away priveledges he thinks that he can just talk to him and fix it all, but what he doesn't realize is that he may be on his best behavior while he is in town for time off but when he leaves zack goes right back to his negative, self-destructive behavior. he shows no respect for me at all, it takes him getting into trouble before he will listen to me and do what i say. we argue and fight over homework, chores, everything. i desperately need some help, advise, suggestions, anything to try different than what we've been doing because it's not working. i know he needs to be seeing a counselor at least 2 times a month if not more, and he probably needs to be on some kind of med's to balance out his mood swings and anger issues. he needs to learn some coping skills and learn how to deal with life on lifes terms. he has got to gain the knowledge and tools in order to be able to cope with life. when he gets grown and out on his own and has know how to deal with other people without loosing his temper. i just want the best for him and for him to be a healthy, sucessful, well balanced person who can take care of himself and learn to be resilient. i don't want him to end up being an angry, hateful, resentful dis-liked person. i want the very best for him and for him to take advantage of every opportunity that is presented to him and be sucessful at it. i just want my little boy to be a healthy mentally stable adult someday. i would appriciate any advise, comments, suggestions, any response to my delima. thanks for taking the time to read all of this.
sincerely, desperately seeking help,
frustrated, concerned mom
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