trouble adjusting to switching parents?

[lillmomma]

The father of my 3 yr. old twin boys just started taking them every other week this January. before that he took them every other weekend with not so much as a phone call in between weekends. My oldest twin Kyle gets missing mommy by about the 4th day and throws screaming tantrums (he on occasion does this with me for various reasons) he will clinch his fist and his teeth and scream loudly, say no to everything and hit himself in the side of the head a few times. My question and problem is that his father thinks there is something "wrong" with our son and wants to take him to counseling! I do not agree, I think Kyle is having a hard time adjusting to the difference in rules and not having mommy. I think kyle expressing his anger is healthy and i also have a hunch he is hitting himself because he knows it is not nice to hit others but he is angry and wants to hit something?  I have asked their father to call me every day while he has them so I can talk to them and he usually only does it once or twice. I was wondering if anyone else thinks my sons actions are understandable 3 yr old antics or if hitting himself is as serious as his father thinks it is?

[lillmomma]

Thanks, MadonnaM... Yes he goes to pre-school its a small home based facility so they are like family now.Kyle for the most part is well behaved there, they are very used to his naptime meltdown which is just a few minutes of crying when he's tired, so i wouldn't say his tantrums interfere the kids love going they even ask to see Miss Sandy on the weekends, but he did hit himself today which he's never done there before, i called a local counselor  who said he prob just isn't sure how to handle stress and she suggested that his father and I do a shorter schedule like 3 days @ dads and 4 days with me ect.. and thank goodness his dad agreed! So I'm hoping that works?

[MadonnaM]

I think I would talk to his father again about letting him call you everyday to see if the behavior improves.  I think you are right and he does not know how to express his anger and frustration with the changes in his life.  Does he go to preschool?  If so how is his behavior in school?  I would not be overly concerned yet.  If this behavior interferes with school or daycare and he becomes uncontrolable then you might want to seek a professional.