Help! 3 possible fathers.. yes I know what your thinking

[Jpike31]

Hi you all.. yes I know.. the title says it all! I am extremely ashamed about this situation I have put myself in but I SERIOUSLY need some guidance and advise from outsiders who have no connection to this situation... any honest input would be so greatly appreciated. The only "semi positive" thing about this situation is that 2 of the guys I have known for years. All 3 are wonderful people that come from great families as well.

Okay, I found out I am pregnant. The first day of my last period was on August 12, 2015.  Here is out how it pans out :/

August 21st- Guy #1 (came inside me)
August 23rd- Guy #2 (came inside me)
August 28th- Guy #1 (PULLED OUT- DID NOT *** INSIDE ME)
August 28th- Guy #3 (came inside me)
August 29th- OVULATION!?!?!

I had EXTREME one sided pain (my doctor states that she is 99.999 percent sure this was ovulation, my periods were longer than 28 days) on August 29th...

From your opinions, any idea who the father COULD possibly be? I know this is a messy horrible situation, all completely self inflicted. All I am asking for is your input on who you think it could be. I have no one else to talk to about this and would sincerely appreciate any input on your thoughts.

Just an FYI I plan on getting a prenatal paternity test done through DDC at 9 weeks, but in the meantime I am just trying to figure this whole mess out.

Thank you for your time

[AnnieBrooke]

CVS can't be done early in the pregnancy, I don't think.  If memory serves, it can't be done until the 4th or 5th month.  But more important, it carries a slight risk to the pregnancy, and because of that, most doctors will not do it just to determine paternity.  Women can get paternity information from it if they have to have the CVS procedure done for something else, but it is not recommended if a prenatal blood test is available for the same thing.  Drawing blood from your arm for a test from Ravgen or the DDC does not risk miscarriage.

I don't guess that in your position I would tell any of the guys that there are three possible fathers, unless you already have.  No matter how free and easy of a sex life a man has, he does not have the same reaction to hearing that a woman has one too, especially if a baby was the result.  I would individually ask the first two guys to test and would leave it at that, no further explanation or comment.  Of course they will understand that you had sex with someone other than them or they would not need to test, but they will also be somewhat shocked at the news (that they might be a dad -- Welcome to the Responsibility, Worry and Financial Obligation Club!).  You don't need to give them something else (such as, "I slept with three men in short order") to transfer their shock and judgement to.  That only works twenty years later when you all live in Greece and sing Abba songs.  But you are not Meryl Streep.  :)

My other suggestion would be to tell each of the first two guys you test with, only about a week or even just a few days less you would want to do the test.  We get letters on the site from guys who have gotten vague "You might need to test with me" statements from women and then the women string it out or they have told the guy so early that there is no way to test yet, and the poor guys are pretty much wringing their hands and trying to do the math and freaking out.  Please give them as little extra time as possible, enough to be able to schedule the test but not weeks, or their life will be pretty tough for that amount of time.  I realize your life is tough right now, too, but two of them are not the dad, and it would be kind of you to give them that amount of restraint.  

[Jpike31]

Luckily the kit I am doing is through bloodwork and they have to show a photo ID. Yes also in a very good place with each of them, yet not sure how to break to it all 3... However, the only thing in my favor is that I was clearly not monogomous with any of them so they should not be alarmed if in asking them to take a test, if I were them I would want to know ASAP!

Can CVS be done through DDC? Not many resources down here in my area to find out where to go to get it done. I am assuming a high risk place as they need an ultrasound to do the procedure.

Thank you Annie.

[AnnieBrooke]

If you want to know what I mean, imagine the difference between saying "I'm pregnant and I think you must be the dad because I tested everyone else and they are all negatives," and "I'm pregnant and the test came up positive for you being the dad."

If you are on good terms with all the guys, go to the lab with them when they do their swab to send in.  We've heard on this forum a few stories that hint at a guy possibly faking the test.  

[AnnieBrooke]

I would test with #1 and #3.  There is no point in testing with the two least likely candidates, you want to get a positive, not two negatives.  "Positive by extrapolation" is neither as certain nor as reassuring as positive from a test.

The two places I recommend for prenatal paternity testing are Ravgen and the DDC.  

[Jpike31]

Ive only slept with guy #3 since the 28th on.

Have you happen to have seen anything on here with the prenatal paternity testing? I cant seem to find much on it :( just with the accuracy. I was thinking of testing the LEAST likely (#1 & #2).

I spoke with my doctor this afternoon, she almost ruled out #1 because of him "pulling out". She said although you can get pregnant with pre ***, it is extremely rare. She said she has never had a case of that before.

Thank you Annie for being here for me. It means more than I can express on here. I am really distraught and sick over this.

I was wondering about CVS prenatal paternity testing too? Im sorry to keep bothering you but I literally have NO WHERE else to turn.

[AnnieBrooke]

Ovulation doesn't happen every 14-15 days, you get a period after ovulating, and ovulation is not 14 or 15 from the last period, but 14 or 15 to the next period.  In other words, ovulating leads, and a period follows (if you don't get pregnant from that ovulation) in a couple of weeks.  Then you ovulate again whenever, and the period follows in about 2 weeks.  Given your long cycles, I would test with anyone you had sex with from September 1-5 first, and then with the two guys from August 28.  If August 28 was the last time you had sex, I would test with those two guys first.