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Is she lying about being pregnant?
This question goes out to you ladies out there because I have this girl who says she is pregnant and I am getting to become skeptical because her timelines are not adding up. Now I have only known this girl for a little under a year and was never sleeping with one another on a regular basis. It was always just a once in awhile thing. Then, the one time I didn't use protection she claimed she was pregnant about a month later.
Now, if she truly is pregnant and the child is mine, I am going to step to the plate and be a part of this child's life. Here are the reasons why I feel she may be lying. As of Dec.8th, she should be 13 weeks along. I came to this conclusion because she told me that she usually gets her period around the 5th or the 6th so I counted the weeks from that date because what I have read they start counting at the first day of their last period.
She just recently said she went to the OB. The first thing I thought was odd was that she had an appointment at 10:30 and when I texted her @ 11, she was already done. She claimed to have some heavy bleeding about 3 days prior to this hence the reason I was curious as to what the doctor said. She had told me that the doctor had advised her that she is probably working too much and is stressed out. She also advised her that she was at a high risk of a miscarriage because she was on birth control for a long time and that she was off and on birth control for the last year.
Aside that her appointment was at 2 and she was done at 2:30 and apparently within this time she had had an ultra sound done and the doctor had told her all these things, I asked her how far along the doctor said she was, Her answer was 10 or 11 weeks, she couldn't remember. Aside from the fact that she should be 13 weeks and entering her 2nd trimester, isn't this important information that a female would probably remember? On top of that, she states that the doctor said that if a miscarriage were to happen, it would happen within the next few weeks. I find this oddly convenient as she has decided to travel for work over the next couple of weeks to work 12-14 hour days which almost seems as a setup for her to claim a miscarriage.
On top of all this, she texts me last night and states she had messed up and drank. I asked her how much and she said she didn't know but when I got mad at her, her answer turned from she didn't know to 1 glass of wine. LOL I also find it odd that after the doctor had told her that she is working too much and that she is a high risk for a miscarriage, she decides to drink and go on road to work when she could easily back out.
Do any of you ladies out there find this to be odd? I am giving this girl the benefit of the doubt because we are kind of friends but even when I first started talking to her, I had the feeling she was lying to me about things from the start.
Another thing is she is trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to get a paternity test when the child is born. I have never hung out with this girl on a regular basis and have heard rumors about her and other people that she has obviously denied. I told her I would be here for her throughout the pregnancy but will not sign the birth certificate until I know it is mine for sure.
I am just looking to get some thoughts on this from an outside source because it is starting to add up that she may be lying now and setting herself up for a fake miscarriage within the next couple of weeks.
Now, if she truly is pregnant and the child is mine, I am going to step to the plate and be a part of this child's life. Here are the reasons why I feel she may be lying. As of Dec.8th, she should be 13 weeks along. I came to this conclusion because she told me that she usually gets her period around the 5th or the 6th so I counted the weeks from that date because what I have read they start counting at the first day of their last period.
She just recently said she went to the OB. The first thing I thought was odd was that she had an appointment at 10:30 and when I texted her @ 11, she was already done. She claimed to have some heavy bleeding about 3 days prior to this hence the reason I was curious as to what the doctor said. She had told me that the doctor had advised her that she is probably working too much and is stressed out. She also advised her that she was at a high risk of a miscarriage because she was on birth control for a long time and that she was off and on birth control for the last year.
Aside that her appointment was at 2 and she was done at 2:30 and apparently within this time she had had an ultra sound done and the doctor had told her all these things, I asked her how far along the doctor said she was, Her answer was 10 or 11 weeks, she couldn't remember. Aside from the fact that she should be 13 weeks and entering her 2nd trimester, isn't this important information that a female would probably remember? On top of that, she states that the doctor said that if a miscarriage were to happen, it would happen within the next few weeks. I find this oddly convenient as she has decided to travel for work over the next couple of weeks to work 12-14 hour days which almost seems as a setup for her to claim a miscarriage.
On top of all this, she texts me last night and states she had messed up and drank. I asked her how much and she said she didn't know but when I got mad at her, her answer turned from she didn't know to 1 glass of wine. LOL I also find it odd that after the doctor had told her that she is working too much and that she is a high risk for a miscarriage, she decides to drink and go on road to work when she could easily back out.
Do any of you ladies out there find this to be odd? I am giving this girl the benefit of the doubt because we are kind of friends but even when I first started talking to her, I had the feeling she was lying to me about things from the start.
Another thing is she is trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to get a paternity test when the child is born. I have never hung out with this girl on a regular basis and have heard rumors about her and other people that she has obviously denied. I told her I would be here for her throughout the pregnancy but will not sign the birth certificate until I know it is mine for sure.
I am just looking to get some thoughts on this from an outside source because it is starting to add up that she may be lying now and setting herself up for a fake miscarriage within the next couple of weeks.
Point taken and am definitely going to move on that advice. I am a little upset over this but I'll get over it. At least I have my life back and can look forward to someday raising a family in the conventional way that we all dream of.
A great start to a new year!
Once again, I want to thank you all for your time and opinions in this unforgettable story (in my mind)! LOL
A great start to a new year!
Once again, I want to thank you all for your time and opinions in this unforgettable story (in my mind)! LOL
COMMUNITY LEADER
To amplify what Londres said, look at this as a lucky escape and run. Don't hang around indignantly trying to pick fights. You ARE lucky -- grab it and say "thank you God," and go.
I agree with AB.
You have the right to be upset, but don't let this nonsense consume you or preoccupy you.
Is it really going to make a difference if you have copies of the US or not? I am sure she is just going to continue to lie about the US. You probably won't ever get the 100% truth from her.....a liar.
People usually believe what they want to believe. They may believe her or not. You have no control over that or them. If they are clever enough they will know her story makes NO sense and isn't credible.
Move on and thank your lucky stars you aren't actually bound to this unstable woman with a kid. Consider yourself lucky and a lesson learned.
Don't waste your time asking for anything from her.....just move on.
Start 2014 fresh and without her on your mind.
You have the right to be upset, but don't let this nonsense consume you or preoccupy you.
Is it really going to make a difference if you have copies of the US or not? I am sure she is just going to continue to lie about the US. You probably won't ever get the 100% truth from her.....a liar.
People usually believe what they want to believe. They may believe her or not. You have no control over that or them. If they are clever enough they will know her story makes NO sense and isn't credible.
Move on and thank your lucky stars you aren't actually bound to this unstable woman with a kid. Consider yourself lucky and a lesson learned.
Don't waste your time asking for anything from her.....just move on.
Start 2014 fresh and without her on your mind.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, it sounds like her plan to keep you interested and talking to her worked, anyway. You really should drop this entirely, not be all hooked and asking for her ultrasound pix and worrying that she might have told people she was pregnant by you. She's just trying to keep you on the string, if you are smart you will cut it and never think of her again.
UPDATE 1/1/2014
Well just as I anticipated, I was told last night via text message that she is no longer pregnant.
When I asked here how and when this happened, she had told me that it happened on Sunday. She said she went to the hospital because she was in pain and they said she miscarried. This message came completely out of the blue and had even came after some small talk earlier in the night about what she was going to do for New Years Eve.
This girl is a complete liar and I do not understand why someone would do this! Although I would like to just let her be, I am upset as to the fact that she may have told people that she was pregnant and that the child was mine when I have this feeling she was never pregnant in the first place.
I am currently trying to get copies of these supposedly ultrasound pictures she has but she is being reluctant on sending me copies as her excuse is she doesn't want to see them right now. I have told her I don't care and that I want to see them. I have actually been asking for these for a couple of weeks now.
Anyway, thanks for everyone's input on this issue.
Well just as I anticipated, I was told last night via text message that she is no longer pregnant.
When I asked here how and when this happened, she had told me that it happened on Sunday. She said she went to the hospital because she was in pain and they said she miscarried. This message came completely out of the blue and had even came after some small talk earlier in the night about what she was going to do for New Years Eve.
This girl is a complete liar and I do not understand why someone would do this! Although I would like to just let her be, I am upset as to the fact that she may have told people that she was pregnant and that the child was mine when I have this feeling she was never pregnant in the first place.
I am currently trying to get copies of these supposedly ultrasound pictures she has but she is being reluctant on sending me copies as her excuse is she doesn't want to see them right now. I have told her I don't care and that I want to see them. I have actually been asking for these for a couple of weeks now.
Anyway, thanks for everyone's input on this issue.
i got an estimated due date when i was 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant. they measured the size of the big in my ultrasound. they could only give me a due date after measuring the size of my baby.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, often on this forum we do get women who write in who know what their gestational count is (i.e., ten weeks or whatever) but do not know an estimated due date. A doctor could give it to her the day he or she says "you're x weeks pregnant," but they either don't always do so, or the woman is so amazed by the first part that she doesn't hear (or remember) the second part. Usually they do know the exact count the doc said "6 weeks 3 days" so if she didn't say that, either a) she didn't get an ultrasound yet and everything is just a rough estimate, or b) she's kind of winging this when talking to you. Ask her if you can talk to your doctor, if you want to see some fancy talk from her.
If she truly was already pregnant and had ultra sounds done, would the OB have told her possible due dates?
She hasn't mentioned to me anything about a due date and it seems as if other people in this forum have received that type of info as early as 6 weeks. I would think that a finding out a due date would big significant information you would want to share with the supposedly father of the child.
Another card to add to the deck!
She hasn't mentioned to me anything about a due date and it seems as if other people in this forum have received that type of info as early as 6 weeks. I would think that a finding out a due date would big significant information you would want to share with the supposedly father of the child.
Another card to add to the deck!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Without any more information, it sounds like *if* she is pregnant, she is not entirely sure who the dad is but wants you to think it's yours because you're a solid citizen, and that she is considering having an abortion and passing it off as a miscarriage (especially if you don't buy that you are the dad and expect a DNA test).
Maybe that the whole story is made up, but though it doesn't sound like it's entirely true, it might contain some grains of truth. Women who don't know for sure the dad is, but are looking out for #1 in terms of the best-heeled or most stable of the possibilities, sometimes behave like this.
Keep on the straight and level in your calm assurance to her that you'll have a DNA test when the baby is born, and you will probably see some movement soon in the supposed state of affairs.
Maybe that the whole story is made up, but though it doesn't sound like it's entirely true, it might contain some grains of truth. Women who don't know for sure the dad is, but are looking out for #1 in terms of the best-heeled or most stable of the possibilities, sometimes behave like this.
Keep on the straight and level in your calm assurance to her that you'll have a DNA test when the baby is born, and you will probably see some movement soon in the supposed state of affairs.
keep us up dated. i hope she's not lying to you but when she does you'll know she's crazy. in my opinion its kinda sick in the head to lie about pregnancy.
im 21 and wouldn't lie lol. but it all sounds like she is lying. my friend us to lie all the time and it all sounds way to familiar. but id ask to go to a doctor. or go see her unexpected and tell her to take a pregnancy test. you buy it and make sure she does it. its not fair for her to lie to you. she might be doing it to keep you in her life.
I love the idea of you visiting the doctor with her... Or how about having her take a pregnancy test with you present... She shouldn't have any problems with that right? Also, if she does have a baby a DNA test is an excellent idea which shouldn't offered her as you weren't in an exclusive relationship.. Let this be a lesson learned about the value of ALWAYS having protected sex unless you are in a committed, monogamous relationship. Keep us updated on how things go... I'm interested to see how this plays out!
She is 21 years old and I am 33. This is another reason why I am a little skeptical because she is young.
We had sex on 9/14. I am only making computations based on the research I have done on the internet on how doctors calculate pregnancy. When she initially told me she was pregnant, she told me she usually gets her period around the 5th or the 6th of every month. So I am only basing this on assumptions.
I am trying my best to be supportive but since we are not together and I have no interest in having a relationship with this woman, I do not contact her on a daily basis. If I haven't heard from her for a couple of days, i will check in to see how she is doing.
I offered to go to the last appointment with her but she had changed the appointment date and time without telling me because she is going to be traveling and her excuse for changing without telling me was quote "You never told me you wanted to go. You don't talk to me for days then when you do it's, "How are you" same conversation."
I clearly told her I would go to the next appointment.
I am trying to be optimistic and keep putting the thought in my head that this kid is mine and if it is, I want to be there for the child in every which way I can. But as this saga continues to unfold, the deck keeps stacking up and my gut keeps telling me that this is not right. It is hard to believe my gut because deep down, I am not at a point in my life right now to have a child.
We had sex on 9/14. I am only making computations based on the research I have done on the internet on how doctors calculate pregnancy. When she initially told me she was pregnant, she told me she usually gets her period around the 5th or the 6th of every month. So I am only basing this on assumptions.
I am trying my best to be supportive but since we are not together and I have no interest in having a relationship with this woman, I do not contact her on a daily basis. If I haven't heard from her for a couple of days, i will check in to see how she is doing.
I offered to go to the last appointment with her but she had changed the appointment date and time without telling me because she is going to be traveling and her excuse for changing without telling me was quote "You never told me you wanted to go. You don't talk to me for days then when you do it's, "How are you" same conversation."
I clearly told her I would go to the next appointment.
I am trying to be optimistic and keep putting the thought in my head that this kid is mine and if it is, I want to be there for the child in every which way I can. But as this saga continues to unfold, the deck keeps stacking up and my gut keeps telling me that this is not right. It is hard to believe my gut because deep down, I am not at a point in my life right now to have a child.
I DITTO the Above!!! Keep us updated..I like the idea of going to the DR with her..That would or should tell the truth right there..I wish you the best.
Bless
Bless
COMMUNITY LEADER
Do you have any more specifics on timing the pregnancy, such as what date you had sex with her that supposedly produced the baby? You making computations from the first day of her last period (if you know what that is for sure, and it sounds like you only have a general idea) aren't that helpful. If she is telling you the truth that she is pregnant and if she is telling you the truth that she thinks you are the dad, she should be interested in telling you how she gets to that conclusion. Most women would pretty obsessively try to count it out, and would certainly listen to what the doctor says about dating the pregnancy very carefully if they were trying to work out who is the dad. I don't entirely buy a doctor telling someone that they are at high risk for miscarriage because of their prior form of birth control, either.
Ditto Londres on the issue of taking a paternity test. Of course you want to do that. If you were married or even exclusive, that might be an insulting thing to ask for, but if you are just casually having sex every now and again, it's not at all unusual to expect to do a DNA test.
Ditto Londres on the issue of taking a paternity test. Of course you want to do that. If you were married or even exclusive, that might be an insulting thing to ask for, but if you are just casually having sex every now and again, it's not at all unusual to expect to do a DNA test.
How old is this woman?
Some of her story sounds made up.....basically lies. Parts of it could be true, but in my opinion she is a liar.
Ask to go to the next doctor's appointment with her.
I will agree with you that she is trying to set up some silly story about having a miscarriage, i.e. alcohol drinking, the stress from working long hours, etc.
"Another thing is she is trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to get a paternity test when the child is born"..............Don't let her make you feel guilty; that is the SMART thing to do. As you stated you didn't have any stable, ongoing relationship with her.
Some of her story sounds made up.....basically lies. Parts of it could be true, but in my opinion she is a liar.
Ask to go to the next doctor's appointment with her.
I will agree with you that she is trying to set up some silly story about having a miscarriage, i.e. alcohol drinking, the stress from working long hours, etc.
"Another thing is she is trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to get a paternity test when the child is born"..............Don't let her make you feel guilty; that is the SMART thing to do. As you stated you didn't have any stable, ongoing relationship with her.
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