Aa
who could be the father of my baby
Short story, i had an affair.. i remember having sex unprotected through withdrawal with guy A around the 24th of September 2020. I had my period on 25/09/2020. I know it was a period because it was 5days long.. i always record on my Flo Application.My periods are usually between 27 to 30days long. From 30 September 2020 onwards i was having sex with guy B. I didn't go to the doctor until I was about 14weeks. They used my LMP dates and gave me a due date of between 1 or 2July 2021. I delivered my baby girl on 1/07/2021.All dates points to guy B but my baby looks so much like guy A. I am really worried and some days are really bad. Guy A knows but guy B does not know this story. PLEASE help me!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Did you ever have sex again with Guy A after your period came?
9 Comments
Yes 1 time again. Beginning of November 2020. Around the 2nd of November. After I had missed my period in October.
OK, then, you're in a serious situation. What is the relationship with guy B, is he a boyfriend who thinks he is the dad, or is he your husband? Because you and guy A and the baby should do a DNA test. Would guy A resist that?
Guy B is my husband. Please note. Sex with guy A was 24 September and beginning of November. I never slept with guy A in October.
Oh, good, sorry! I mis-read. Obviously the situation is not as serious, because
- You had a period and it was a period, which rules out the sex September 25, (and besides, if it hadn't been a period, you wouldn't have had the baby on July 1.) And,
- Although you did have sex with guy A again after the September 25 period, it was a month after the period ended, not at the beginning of October. I assume you didn't have a period at the end of October, which would be another indicator you were already pregnant.
I was reading it that you had sex with guy A right after the period in October. But that is clearly not what you said!
So anyway, you had sex with Mister Wrong both too early and too late on for him to be the dad. I agree with you entirely that everything points to your daughter being from your husband.
This takes things from the realm of logic and dates into the psychological. Sometimes when someone is stewing and feeling bad about having cheated, they will look at the baby and see the face of the guy with whom they have a guilty secret, even if the baby looks like the right guy. This might be happening. Do you have photographs of your husband when he was 1 year old? If so, take a photo of your daughter and set it next to the photo of your husband at the same age. Compare photo to photo. It might surprise and amuse you. My husband and son don't look much alike in person (in fact, when my son was young, he looked like his father was probably Winston Churchill). But we happened to have a cute studio portrait of my husband when he was a baby, and you would not have been able to tell him apart from my son in baby pictures. You might try that, possibly it will help. Again, compare two photographs, don't hold a photo of your husband as a baby up to your child and try to see similarities, a living person just doesn't look that much like a photo.
If your worries simply won't leave you, would guy A be willing to do a DNA test just so you will never have to wonder again? A drugstore test would be good enough for this purpose. He'll likely think you are little nuts to ask, and the possibility also exists that he'll tell some trusted friend (or girlfriend or wife some day) that you asked him to do this, and he or she will gossip about it to someone else, and it might come to your husband's ears that you did this test. But if you think he would do it and would never tell anyone (even long in the future), a DNA test would be a way to ease your mind. I actually hope the photographs do the trick, though.
- You had a period and it was a period, which rules out the sex September 25, (and besides, if it hadn't been a period, you wouldn't have had the baby on July 1.) And,
- Although you did have sex with guy A again after the September 25 period, it was a month after the period ended, not at the beginning of October. I assume you didn't have a period at the end of October, which would be another indicator you were already pregnant.
I was reading it that you had sex with guy A right after the period in October. But that is clearly not what you said!
So anyway, you had sex with Mister Wrong both too early and too late on for him to be the dad. I agree with you entirely that everything points to your daughter being from your husband.
This takes things from the realm of logic and dates into the psychological. Sometimes when someone is stewing and feeling bad about having cheated, they will look at the baby and see the face of the guy with whom they have a guilty secret, even if the baby looks like the right guy. This might be happening. Do you have photographs of your husband when he was 1 year old? If so, take a photo of your daughter and set it next to the photo of your husband at the same age. Compare photo to photo. It might surprise and amuse you. My husband and son don't look much alike in person (in fact, when my son was young, he looked like his father was probably Winston Churchill). But we happened to have a cute studio portrait of my husband when he was a baby, and you would not have been able to tell him apart from my son in baby pictures. You might try that, possibly it will help. Again, compare two photographs, don't hold a photo of your husband as a baby up to your child and try to see similarities, a living person just doesn't look that much like a photo.
If your worries simply won't leave you, would guy A be willing to do a DNA test just so you will never have to wonder again? A drugstore test would be good enough for this purpose. He'll likely think you are little nuts to ask, and the possibility also exists that he'll tell some trusted friend (or girlfriend or wife some day) that you asked him to do this, and he or she will gossip about it to someone else, and it might come to your husband's ears that you did this test. But if you think he would do it and would never tell anyone (even long in the future), a DNA test would be a way to ease your mind. I actually hope the photographs do the trick, though.
Thanks Annie. I got in contact with guy to inform him about my thoughts. He wasnt so thrilled about the DNA idea. It was only for my piece of mind. Cause I was kind of certain that Guy A was not the dad until after my baby was born. I was never really worried during my pregnancy cause I was so sure Guy B was the dad. But when she was born I thought her head shape is more on Guy A side. I'm not proud of what I did. I hate it to the core. But sometimes we do things not knowing it will haunt us back. I regret everything. It was before I got married to my husband. We got married in 2021. Somedays I assure myself through reading other people's comments on this forum but sometimes the thoughts get the better of me such that I end up thinking the worst. When I see other peoples posts, I always know the answers but when its my situation Its different.
I really want nothing to do with Guy A. My girl looks nothing like me. What makes it worse is that she has similarities with both guys even. I guess its in my mind. Will look for pictures of my husband when he was 1 year old. But I guess like you said its the guilty conscience getting the better of me.
A good source of baby pix of your husband, is his mother. You could tell her you want to do a little display of your baby picture and your husband's baby picture and your daughter's baby picture, together. She'll send you copies of her best shots.
Okay will ask her for the pictures. Thanks Annie. I am glad i vented. I really needed someone to tell.
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