I'm at a loss.

[NicoleLauren]

I've struggled with depression for years. Recently it's been better, for the most part, but now due to a situation it's getting worse.

Last week I left the man I was dating. He had become controlling and manipulative, also emotionally and verbally abusive (and sometimes sexually, though he would never admit it). I am pregnant with his child. Since I left he has been harassing myself and my friend, and when warned by the police he did stop...for ONE DAY. Now he's on an every-other-day basis...he'll leave us alone for a day, then the next day he'll contact one of us. Today he called my house phone and he also texted my mother's cell phone. For me this has turned from extreme anger to downright depression. Today I even thought about killing myself, just so I won't have to deal with it anymore. I want out. I don't want to deal with him in my life, and I don't want my friends or family to have to deal with him either. The only reason I won't attempt suicide is because I could never do anything that could potentially hurt my baby.

I'm going to the police station to file a complaint in a few minutes, but I had to post this first. I don't know what to do. I'm seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist, but I don't know if it'll help. I feel like it's MY fault that my friend and family have to go through this whole ordeal. Plus on top of everything else, I have to decide what I'm going to do about the baby. I don't want to have it live in constant fear that its uncontrollable father is going to come and take it away, but I also can't give it up. It's my child.

I NEED HELP.

[NicoleLauren]

I actually just got back from the police department and did get a restraining order. Thank you!

[Jikan]

Namaste,
First of all, suicide is never a viable option. If you feel yourself at a critical junction you need to call 911 immediately.

As for the ex-boyfriend, making individual police reports are appropriate, but, if you haven't already, you need to look into a restraining order. At least that way he can be arrested and jailed if he violates it.

Look into crisis hotlines, so that you have that support, in the event you need it.

Other than that, it appears you're taking the appropriate steps to maintain your sanity.

I hope the best for you!

Michael