I don't know what to do

[AshleyGoodman]

Ihave had depression for a while now and it's gotten worse over time. I started cutting and thinking a lot about suicid. I even tryed to hang myself but never was successful. I don't want to be like this anymore. Anyone have any tips that can help?

[rosey3216]

If your depression has lead you to self harm or trying to end it all, you need help immediately. Idk if you go to counseling or are on medication or not, but you might want to consider an inpatient program. They will keep you safe, evaluate you to figure out whig treatment is best for you, and you will learn how to cope with depression in healthy ways.

In the mean time, please take some time to read the posts from bubulous. They are truly enlightening.

Now with cutting... This is a touchy subject for me. But here's my story with that in brief. I started cutting in the 8th grade. The first time I ever did it I cried and cried for hours because after the release I felt, I knew I would never be able to stop. It started out with little pokes from a razor, then went to small thin scratches, until finally by my junior year in high school, I was cutting to the point that I now have tons of scars. It became an addiction. I graduated last year, and still cut every once in a while. I started with my left arm and promised myself that I would never let it go further than that. Then I started to run out of room so I moved to my right arm. But promised I would never cut anywhere else... I was wearing long sleeves EVERY SINGLE DAY, because I was cutting so much that I had to. Even in the dead of summer, I could not wear t shirts. It got to the point that I started to get paranoid about someone finding out and started cutting on my legs, shoulders, hips, anywhere I could think of. Now I have all these scars everywhere and see them every day and regret every single one.. I feel ashamed when I see them because I did it to myself, purposely. And they are never going to fade now. Ever. Please get help while you can before it becomes an addiction.. my therapist suggested holding an ice cube instead when I feel like cutting and letting it melt in your hand. It will relax you and by the time it melts all the way, you will probably change your mind. I have also done the rubber bands on my wrist and that works too. Good luck hun and there are tons of us here that can relate and are here if you need to talk.

[jessilb]

Hi, I hope you are feeling a little better than when you wrote this.  Are you under the care of a psychiatrist?  What about a therapist?  This is something that you may not be able to overcome on your own.  I have struggled with depression, PTSD, cutting and suicidal actions in the past.  If you are not under care please get some help.  There are also numbers you can call in the time of a crisis situation and they will help you through it.  Try the phone book or the internet to find the numbers in your area.  They are usually listed under crisis hotline or suicide prevention hotline.  For cutting try putting an ice cube on your wrist instead.  You can also try a rubber band and flick yourself hard everytime you feel like cutting.  I don't know what the background is for these feelings but if you want to talk about it friend me and leave me a message.  I will get back to you as soon as I can.  Coming on here is a good start, getting support from people who have been there.  Don't be afraid to reach out to people o.k.  Hope to hear from you soon.

[Bubulous]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

I have a few but it will take you a long time to read them.  I cut as well but I haven't done it in a while.  I saw that you called your grand parents and you felt better afterwards.  Do you have anyone else to call?  You can always talk or vent on here and you will find someone that can relate.  If you don't feel comfortable talking on here you can message me and I will listen to your story and try to help.  Suicidal thoughts are natural when you are in a deep depression.  I tell most that if you are going to end it you might as well start living your life the way you want.  I used to have thoughts about killing myself a lot.  When it got serious it did something to me.  I figured if I was going to let this world get me to the point that I was willing to check out early, I had to consider this world my enemy.  Not the people in it but the negativity that is created by their actions.  I have been fighting negativity, depression, and fear for a long time.

If you are bored look up my posts on fighting depression.  They are on this forum and they are titled:

Fighting Depression
Fighting Depression part 2
Fighting Depression part 3
Fighting impatience, stress, and fear
Fighting Depression part 4 (simplicity)
It will take you a while but it doesn't seem like you have any other plans and I think you will find them enlightening and fun to read.  
Please start fighting.  It isn't easy but nothing worth having is easy to obtain.

P.S. cutting yourself releases Dopamin from your brain and it is like an addiction to drugs.  The more tolerance you build up to pain, the worse the cutting is going to get and it is a dangerous behavior, as you likely know.  Get rid of anything you have in your room that you can cut yourself with and replace it with rubber bands.  Put several on your wrist and when you feel like cutting, pop them as hard as you can.  It is less dangerous and it releases Dopamin as well.  I never take mine off and I have to pop them a lot but it works.

Good Luck friend,
Please read the things I mentioned.  Fighting depression take time and it isn't easy but it is worth it.