Aa
I dont know what to do any more...
i dont really have a specific question...i just need help. i know this is long but please read it and help me i need it really bad. i have so much going on my sister is 19 years old and is have a baby in July and she is so not ready. her baby shower is this week-end and my mom is stressed about it because my sister doesnt live at home(she ran away when she was a senior in high school) and my sister is not ready for a baby she still acts like a kid herself. she dropped out of a communtity college during her first semester and never went back she is currently working at a pizza place and not makeing enough to support herself let alone a baby but she refuses adoption.and is no longer with the baby's father and is not making the best decisions for the sistuation she is in. then i have my grandpa in the hospital in pretty rough shape after a massive blood rush to his brain after surgery and he has over a 50% chance of not making it. then i an a senior in high school and i have a huge senior project with my product and presentation due on the 17th. if i fail i dont graduate. then i have a senior class called participation in government (PIG) i have a presentation for that on thursday and i am no where near done and my partner is not doing anything. and again if i fail i dont graduate. i got into a top engineering school for environmental engineering and last report card i had one grade in the 70ies (AP physics) and my mom freaked out and was threatening that i was going to get my acceptance revoked. next week is my AP exam and i dont know how im going to do because i dont test well. then i have my boyfriend of 5 months hes in 10th grade and im debating on if i want to be with him in college or not because im going to be almost 5 hours away and i feel like our relationship has become too physical, i feel like theres very little if any emotional connection between us anymore. plus he aksed me not to talk to one of my best friends since 7th grade because he is a guy and we do have a past. a lot of my friends are telling me that its not a healty relationship and i shouldnt be with him and im beginning to think they are right its still hard though. i am so over my head and i have no idea what to do i wish everything would just go away i dont know what to do anymore. lately i feel like i am on the verg of a mental breakdown! i want to give up...PLaese someone help.
hum, smiles, To the world You may be 1 Person, But to 1 person you may BE the World...
I get the feeling to You, Dad was That whole world. I was a daddies girl. Ive never Stopped being one. My Father and I are speaking again in my life, something Id never thought could or would happen for me. Some things in our past must be approached and addressed before We can move past them. Its Very Hard when you Need that closure and that affirmation. Listen to your Needs and Heed them.
Your Father, I have the distinct Feeling, dosent Know How to ask. Perhaps hes Afraid of rejection Because he feels Failure, maybe He thinks He Dosent Deserve You.
Men given the main, lack our emotional ability to Communicate. Their minds and lives Involve People, OUR lives and Minds ARE People.
Id Never have gotten to begin again with my Own Father if I Hadnt Made the first move. I wasnt going to marry come hell or high water back then, without my father meeting that man. And so, I showed up on his door step one day, fearful of rejection, Seccond guessing my resolve, and My Fathers mind shifted. And my life changed for the better. Its been 8yrs since That day? and we are just Now communicating as 2 profound individuals in ways Id never have dreamed.
Trust your self to know When to push, and When Not to, though the desire can be powerful to over fill the cup of another as our own flows over.
That is a moment in life where the Serenity Prayer fits us All. Im not a religious type, tho I am spiritual. There are things inside their teaching and their words that are worth saying to your self, How could this Apply to My life. Words Benieth Words if you have the capacity to look Through Them.
I get the feeling to You, Dad was That whole world. I was a daddies girl. Ive never Stopped being one. My Father and I are speaking again in my life, something Id never thought could or would happen for me. Some things in our past must be approached and addressed before We can move past them. Its Very Hard when you Need that closure and that affirmation. Listen to your Needs and Heed them.
Your Father, I have the distinct Feeling, dosent Know How to ask. Perhaps hes Afraid of rejection Because he feels Failure, maybe He thinks He Dosent Deserve You.
Men given the main, lack our emotional ability to Communicate. Their minds and lives Involve People, OUR lives and Minds ARE People.
Id Never have gotten to begin again with my Own Father if I Hadnt Made the first move. I wasnt going to marry come hell or high water back then, without my father meeting that man. And so, I showed up on his door step one day, fearful of rejection, Seccond guessing my resolve, and My Fathers mind shifted. And my life changed for the better. Its been 8yrs since That day? and we are just Now communicating as 2 profound individuals in ways Id never have dreamed.
Trust your self to know When to push, and When Not to, though the desire can be powerful to over fill the cup of another as our own flows over.
That is a moment in life where the Serenity Prayer fits us All. Im not a religious type, tho I am spiritual. There are things inside their teaching and their words that are worth saying to your self, How could this Apply to My life. Words Benieth Words if you have the capacity to look Through Them.
1st, pray for your Grandpa and sister and yourself. The boyfriend issue can wait (I recommend avoiding getting pregnant, too). At his age, he's high on hormones, so he's not thinking of your needs at all. Your sister may be in a tough spot, but keeping her kid is a good decision, so don't put her down. If she's happy, she's OK. If she's not happy, the best support is emotional support. Get your projects done! Do everything the teacher asked for and don't waste time on stuff they didn't ask for, and you'll have enough time. Don't do nothing just because you feel like you can't be perfect, and don't spend your remaining time checking forums, unless one of your school projects in about forums. And have someone reliable check your work. As for your dad, some people just have trouble relating to their kids, especially after a divorce. It's hard, and unfair, but maybe you need to contact him in order to move forward. Just be prepared in case the distance between you doesn't change as fast as you'd like. Good luck!
I understand, welcometomylife, in a minute way about how you must feel about your dad talking to your sister and not even mentioning you. I am the youngest of three.
Yet the "caretaker" of the family. I got the courage to talk to my dad when I was in my twenties. I said, dad, you have my sister, mom has my brother. you had your boy and girl. I was to be your namesake, since I was a girl you named me a name to go with my sisters name, not one just for me. You had two children and I was not one of them.
He thought, he thought and he said, you are right, I am so sorry. Dad respects me, and when Mom had several strokes called me in to take care of mom. I promised a year, he expected more and I held my ground. We live six hours away and the weeks I was gone my own grown family went on without me...especially the grandbabies.
Whenever we are all together, I am still invisible. Now that Mom has passed it is hard.
But! The good news is, I built a life on my own. I super enjoy my brother, sister and dad and their families when we get together but my life does not any longer revolve around seeking their approval or being guilted into handling the "problems."
There is a Heavenly Father, a Son who died and rose again and a Holy Spirit that can fill you up with hope and love, I know, it has been awhile since I gave my life to Jesus but I remember the peace and the unconditional love that washed over me.
Again, start a new course, a healthy one for you, affirm yourself in the mirror by saying I am worth being loved, Jesus says so!
Welcome to my life, welcome to your new bright, loving future.
zzz
Yet the "caretaker" of the family. I got the courage to talk to my dad when I was in my twenties. I said, dad, you have my sister, mom has my brother. you had your boy and girl. I was to be your namesake, since I was a girl you named me a name to go with my sisters name, not one just for me. You had two children and I was not one of them.
He thought, he thought and he said, you are right, I am so sorry. Dad respects me, and when Mom had several strokes called me in to take care of mom. I promised a year, he expected more and I held my ground. We live six hours away and the weeks I was gone my own grown family went on without me...especially the grandbabies.
Whenever we are all together, I am still invisible. Now that Mom has passed it is hard.
But! The good news is, I built a life on my own. I super enjoy my brother, sister and dad and their families when we get together but my life does not any longer revolve around seeking their approval or being guilted into handling the "problems."
There is a Heavenly Father, a Son who died and rose again and a Holy Spirit that can fill you up with hope and love, I know, it has been awhile since I gave my life to Jesus but I remember the peace and the unconditional love that washed over me.
Again, start a new course, a healthy one for you, affirm yourself in the mirror by saying I am worth being loved, Jesus says so!
Welcome to my life, welcome to your new bright, loving future.
zzz
Thank you for replying it feels good to have people listen for once. first off to zzzmykids my mom and dad have been divorced since i was two. i used to go to my dad's house every other weekend until i was in 6th grade he moved away without telling anyone. i recently found out he was living in Kentucky. i haven't had any contact form him in 7 years. however this past thanksgiving he contacted my sister and has been talking to her on the phone every once in a while but not too much. however when on the phone with him my sister said he never said anything about me or asked. so that i have given up on a long long time ago. usually i am a very calm person but lately i just feel so overwhelmed because of everything i have watched over my sister and my mom since my dad moved so its hard for me to see them make mistakes especially my sister. but you guys are right i need to worry about myself not so much about others. and again thank you for your advice. between your posts and the advice from my friends i think i know what has to be done even if its going to hurt me emotionally its better then being hurt physically in any way.
As to your sisters life, she has to make Her decisions and Her Own Falls. She will grow up when the baby comes. And she will do the best she knows how at the time.
Its hard to watch people we love fall, or make mistakes, but we cant Save them, and pushing to hard only serves to Alienate You. The hardest thing in Life, is watching a person fall and knowing you could stop it IF theyd listen, But people Need to make some mistakes in order to grow up and beyond.
Some times in life, we must leave people behind, where they are or where they wish to be. Your worry tho Noble will only Hurt and Destroy You. Learn to Ballence and Moderate it.
As to your relationship, Trust your instincts. People grow apart. Its a fact of life. You Shouldnt Ever be with someone because its Duty. Thats a Wrong Reason.
You need also to accept your own Responsibility factor. If you fail due to 'others' Your too involved where you Dont belong. It sounds harsh-but its not meant to hurt. They Must live their lives, you cant do that For anyone.
Its no one elses duty to accept responsibility for Your Actions. Dont Screw Up the Amazing Future you seem to be headed towards. Your Life is Your Concern, no one elses.
College is a Huge Step, the best way to Help your Sister and those Around you in life, is to succeed in your Own Life, and the rest will fall in place.
You Are Very Lucky to Go to College, many of us wont ever have that chance. Dont screw it up! Live Love Laugh-enjoy the ride, Life my dear is Not a Destination.
Its hard to watch people we love fall, or make mistakes, but we cant Save them, and pushing to hard only serves to Alienate You. The hardest thing in Life, is watching a person fall and knowing you could stop it IF theyd listen, But people Need to make some mistakes in order to grow up and beyond.
Some times in life, we must leave people behind, where they are or where they wish to be. Your worry tho Noble will only Hurt and Destroy You. Learn to Ballence and Moderate it.
As to your relationship, Trust your instincts. People grow apart. Its a fact of life. You Shouldnt Ever be with someone because its Duty. Thats a Wrong Reason.
You need also to accept your own Responsibility factor. If you fail due to 'others' Your too involved where you Dont belong. It sounds harsh-but its not meant to hurt. They Must live their lives, you cant do that For anyone.
Its no one elses duty to accept responsibility for Your Actions. Dont Screw Up the Amazing Future you seem to be headed towards. Your Life is Your Concern, no one elses.
College is a Huge Step, the best way to Help your Sister and those Around you in life, is to succeed in your Own Life, and the rest will fall in place.
You Are Very Lucky to Go to College, many of us wont ever have that chance. Dont screw it up! Live Love Laugh-enjoy the ride, Life my dear is Not a Destination.
Ok, I was overwhelmed just reading your post! Can you talk to a counselor at school? You didn't say anything about your Dad, can he listen? Usually in a city there is a teen counselor through the city, free.
First thing, get rid of the boyfriend who is now posessive and later abusive. Trust me I know this one as a senior.
Focus on your project, grades and going to school. Your sister has chose her path. Mine was in a cult when I was in highschool after she tried to kill herself when my Dad was gone three fourths of the month trying to make a living.
I am now 55.
You need to worry about you. Mom is big enough to take care of herself and again your sister shelfishly, as my sister, set her own path, screw everyone else...including the baby she is about to selfishly keep.
You will get through this, focus on your needs right now. Later you can, when married focus on everyone else.
Have a good life, young one and a great graduation, a safe protected summer and a great first year at your college.
zzzmykids
First thing, get rid of the boyfriend who is now posessive and later abusive. Trust me I know this one as a senior.
Focus on your project, grades and going to school. Your sister has chose her path. Mine was in a cult when I was in highschool after she tried to kill herself when my Dad was gone three fourths of the month trying to make a living.
I am now 55.
You need to worry about you. Mom is big enough to take care of herself and again your sister shelfishly, as my sister, set her own path, screw everyone else...including the baby she is about to selfishly keep.
You will get through this, focus on your needs right now. Later you can, when married focus on everyone else.
Have a good life, young one and a great graduation, a safe protected summer and a great first year at your college.
zzzmykids
Okay, first thing, sit down and take a deep breath!!! You sound very overwhelmed, but I would like you to first acknowledge to yourself how much you are doing, and how much of it YOU yourself can change.
Your sister is in a tough situation indeed, and it must be hard to see, but the best you can do is be a strong support for her, and be there when she needs you, she will not get "help" until SHE wants it, and not a second sooner.
Your grandfather is in fate's hands now, and there is nothing you can do about that either, so let him know how much you love him, via phone or visit, and don't worry about it. Worrying about it will NOT change the outcome (even though many of us wish it could).
Your relationship needs to be put on the back burner right now, as that is the LAST thing you should be worrying about. This is your future you're preparing for, not your relationship's. So take sometime for yourself, and any supportive partner wouldn't have a problem with this. If he does, leave the sucker, you deserve better than that!!! besides the school you go to is going to be full of smart guys. :)
As for the school work, do not stress. Make a clear and concise list of EVERYTHING you need to do for your school work, and the exact due date. The rest comes naturally, organize the list with the closest due date first, and then finish it asap. Lock yourself in your room, or at the library, a couple hours at a time (make sure to take a few 15 min breaks so you don't get too fried) and buckle down. If your partner isn't pulling their share (welcome to LIFE honey, everyone ***** :P) then do all of the work, and be prepared to let the teacher know exactly what happened. It is only fair that you get the credit for the work you put in.
You are smart, you wouldn't have gotten into the school if you weren't, and we all get overwhelmed at times, (I would know I'm pre-med. UGH. lol) Don't worry about your one not-so-good grade, it's in the past and there is nothing you can do about it now, so concentrate on moving forward and doing the best possible work on your projects ahead. Hopefully this helped motivate you!
P.S. sounds like you are almost ready for college, which is this intense, but totally worth it! If you ever need someone to talk to almost all schools have a FREE counselor who can help you.
Also many general practitioners (the average unspecialized doctor) can talk to you about managing stress, and will even prescribe light medication if they feel you have a problem. Being a teen/early twenty something is harder today then it has ever been, good luck, and try to stay positive!!!
Just remember, worry about the things you CAN change, learn from the things you can't.
Your sister is in a tough situation indeed, and it must be hard to see, but the best you can do is be a strong support for her, and be there when she needs you, she will not get "help" until SHE wants it, and not a second sooner.
Your grandfather is in fate's hands now, and there is nothing you can do about that either, so let him know how much you love him, via phone or visit, and don't worry about it. Worrying about it will NOT change the outcome (even though many of us wish it could).
Your relationship needs to be put on the back burner right now, as that is the LAST thing you should be worrying about. This is your future you're preparing for, not your relationship's. So take sometime for yourself, and any supportive partner wouldn't have a problem with this. If he does, leave the sucker, you deserve better than that!!! besides the school you go to is going to be full of smart guys. :)
As for the school work, do not stress. Make a clear and concise list of EVERYTHING you need to do for your school work, and the exact due date. The rest comes naturally, organize the list with the closest due date first, and then finish it asap. Lock yourself in your room, or at the library, a couple hours at a time (make sure to take a few 15 min breaks so you don't get too fried) and buckle down. If your partner isn't pulling their share (welcome to LIFE honey, everyone ***** :P) then do all of the work, and be prepared to let the teacher know exactly what happened. It is only fair that you get the credit for the work you put in.
You are smart, you wouldn't have gotten into the school if you weren't, and we all get overwhelmed at times, (I would know I'm pre-med. UGH. lol) Don't worry about your one not-so-good grade, it's in the past and there is nothing you can do about it now, so concentrate on moving forward and doing the best possible work on your projects ahead. Hopefully this helped motivate you!
P.S. sounds like you are almost ready for college, which is this intense, but totally worth it! If you ever need someone to talk to almost all schools have a FREE counselor who can help you.
Also many general practitioners (the average unspecialized doctor) can talk to you about managing stress, and will even prescribe light medication if they feel you have a problem. Being a teen/early twenty something is harder today then it has ever been, good luck, and try to stay positive!!!
Just remember, worry about the things you CAN change, learn from the things you can't.
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