Dark thoughts keep creeping in my head.

[gwmclean]

I keep going to some really dark places in my head.  I keep thinking of different ways that I could die.  Right now I dont think that I would act on these thought, but still it scares me that I am having these thoughts.  Even today I began to think how easy it would be to have someone shoot me, to put me out of my misery.

I use to be one of the best sales guys in this town.  Now, it takes all of my energy just to get through a meeting with a client.

help me please, I dont want to feel this way anymore.  I am starting to think that feeling nothing at all would be better than the way that I am feeling right now.

I am tired of being a disappointment to my wife, I am tired of screwing up, I don't want be a failure anymore.

[Hensley258]

Just write down every symptom you have that is making you feel uncomfortable.

Mention any past life trama if there was any. (there doesn't have to be a past reason)

What's most important are your exact symptoms. If the P-doc knows that then he or she can make a better judgement call on treatment.

You don't have to explain your whole life and the "if's and why's."
Just stick to explaining the basics of your problem.

Good luck.

[jo929]

Whatever you do dont shut down you must tell this DR all of your thought so they can help if you just tell parts you are giving up and just letting whatever it is rule you take control of your life, i do not know what has happened to you but if you look back you may see just when this started, so tell all when you go for the appt, suicide is a bad thing to even consider it is a very selfish act unless you have a terminal disease, so start looking at things differently we all have problems but you can be helped so do not give in.  fight this   luck  jo

[gwmclean]

I have just heard from my family health clinic.  I have an appointment to meet with someone on October 8th.  This has made me feel a little bit better.  But now I have this feeling that I am going to shut down and not be able to talk to him once I get into the appointment.

[Hensley258]

I must second what Bob_D suggested.

It is important that you seek a mental health professional ASAP.
You may be suffering Major Depression and not even realize it.

To sum it up, if indeed you are suffering from a clinical depression, it very often feels like your going crazy (even though your not.)

To say that it's symptoms are disturbing would be a huge understatment. It can feel brutal and staying productive with it can be very difficult if not properly treated.

I know, I know, It hurts to admit that you may be suffering a mental illness. Pride and stigma keeps many people from getting proper help. Don't be one of these people.

To hell with pride. If pride get's in the way just keep this in mind; How important is the rest of your life? Pretty damn important if you ask me.

Make some calls and get help gwmclean. This is not an option.

Regards.

[DM65]

JUst try to use your past success to gain confidence man.  At least you used to have it.  I never did, so you are better off.  You got someone to love you, you have what it takes.  You should see a psychiatrist as well.  I know it sounds like a basic/easy answer...but it does help.

[Bob_D]

I have suffered from similar thoughts in the past, so I sympathize.

Most people do not think about suicide on a regular basis, so it is a significant indication that something may be wrong. Nor should you have to live your life in misery. I strongly suggest that you contact a psychologist who specializes in depression as soon as possible for an evaluation of your concerns.

According to a recent study (STAR*D), 60% of people who start on antidepressants feel at least somewhat better in only two weeks.
(I'm not saying antidepressants are the total answer for everyone or anyone, necessarily, just that some relief may not be too far away.)

Again, I urge you to take action immediately. I wish you the best.
Let me know what you have decided to do.

Cheers,
Bob D