Depression...over dumb things probably?

[melmel4ever]

Okay I know some of you are probably about to roll your eyes at me. I understand that and I'd probably be the same way if I heard this. But please hear me out?

Anyways I like this guy for the longest time ever! Three years to be exact. I never told him I liked him, my mistake. So he found a new girl and they dated for two years. They are seriously the cutest couple ever! And she is so nice to talk to. Anyways I found out last night there getting engaged. Part of me is sooo happy for him, I wouldn't want any other female with him except her. But the other half feels like I'm broken because I just wish it was me, you know? I haven't cried or anything...I just feel pretty depressed. I haven't eaten anything, and all I think about is him. I feel like a terrible person for feeling the need to not want this to happen, how do I stop that? It's wrong! And how do I get out of this heartbreak? I mean we never even dated and he has no clue how I feel about him. The last day of the month I plan on going to the movies with them...I'm afraid I'll breakdown and cry or something. Please help! And is this normal to feel this way, because I feel awful?! Thanks.

[melmel4ever]

Thank you!

[thatquietgirl]

No problem!  Wishing you the best.

[melmel4ever]

Thank you so much that means the world to me that I'm not alone when it comes to stuff like that. Yeah after this I'm probably not going to be hanging around them as much. And I hope I get over it in time...Hopefully! Your last few sentences made total sense and I never thought of it like that really. Thanks again for the help!!! :D

[thatquietgirl]

It's a normal feeling.  I crushed on this guy during high school.  He was a senior when I was a sophomore, so I never told him, but even a few years after I moved away, I found out he was engaged, and I was feeling hurt even though I was happy for him.  I just pushed the thought away and moved on.  He wasn't in my life anymore, though, which made that easier.

If you had asked advice earlier--before this engagement--I would have said to take a break from seeing him and being around him, to hang around other guys.  Now?  It's a bit more complicated.  If you just drop off his radar for a while, it will be painfully obvious why.  I still would consider lessening the time you spend around him and his fiancee, if possible.  Go to the movies but don't make future plans for now.  If they ask, you're busy with ____, and it may take you 2-3 weeks or a month.

I would also suggest lots of journaling and self-reflection.  Sometimes a lot of our issues stem from how being around the other person feels.  We like how we feel around them, so we spend time/fantasize, but when we're apart, we feel empty.  A lot of this comes down to self-image/self-esteem and other issues.

Best of luck!

[melmel4ever]

I've been trying to distract myself, but goodness everything reminds me of him..I wish I could just go to sleep for awhile LOL.